Life Rules ~ Forgive

We are in a series called Life Rules where we are looking at some of the rules God has given us for the relationships in our lives.  We all have rules that we follow in relationships.  Many times we don’t know what the rules are that guide us, but trust me – they are there.  While some of the rules we follow may not be the best, it is important to have rules because they bring order to the chaos of life.  Think about the 10 Commandments.  They are good rules and they help bring order to our relationships by providing boundaries to a variety of relationships.  In our relationship with God we are to have nothing and no one before him.  We are to honor the covenant of marriage and get along well with our neighbors by not taking or desiring any of their stuff.   Last week we saw that a rule we often follow is called the golden rule and it was given to us by Jesus, do unto others as we would have them do unto us, but an even better rule for us to follow is to do unto others as God has done unto us.

But what happens when people don’t treat us the way God has treated them?  What happens when we are hurt by others and get angry with people?  What happens when differences of opinion leads to division and dissension?  In some families when the going gets tough the rule is that the tough stop talking.  When I was in college I had some struggles with a roommate and instead of talking it out we just stopped talking.  When parents disappoint children or children disappoint parents – people stop talking.  At work, among friends, on sports teams, in classrooms and with roommates; when we get hurt a rule many of us follow is to just stop talking.  We even do this on social media, it’s called un-friending someone.  

While following this rule might feel good for awhile, it doesn’t solve anything and so God has given us another rule to use when we get hurt or feel angry and frustrated and this rule is found in Ephesians 4:31.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  So when we feel angry we should just let it go.  God’s rule is to get rid of it.  Paul is subscribing to the Nike school of counseling here – Just stop it.  If you are angry with someone – just stop.  If you are feeling bitter – just let it go.  That’s it.  That’s the rule – just get rid of it.
Now if it were that easy, I could end the message right here and we could all go home early – but let’s be honest – it’s not that easy.  In fact I am wondering how we can even take this verse seriously because there is no way that we can just get rid of it.  If we are honest with ourselves, we might not want to get rid of it at all.  Holding on to a grudge feels good sometimes.  Giving our spouse, friend or parents the silent treatment feels good, at least until we realize they haven’t even noticed we’ve stopped talking to them, which of course just gets us angrier.

Holding on to our pain and brokenness also gives us a good excuse for the way we are because it always gives us someone else to blame for our problems.  We turned out the way we did because our parents failed us.  We lost our job because our coworkers weren’t supportive enough.   Our marriage fell apart because he or she hasn’t there for us.  As long as we can hold on to a grudge and blame someone else, the bitterness and pain gives us an excuse for the way we are feeling and it gives us a reason not to move forward.  So we may not even want to get rid of our anger, bitterness and malice.

For most of us, however, the reason we don’t just get rid of it is because we don’t think it’s possible or we don’t know how.  Is it really possible for us to let go of all malice and anger?  Can we take Paul’s message seriously?  We can and here’s why - Paul knew what he was talking about.  Paul knew something about anger and bitterness.  First of all, Paul is writing this letter to the Ephesians while being chained up in prison.  Not only that he’s all alone, the Jewish leaders had turned on Paul when he started preaching that Jesus had risen from the dead, the early Christians were scared of Paul because he used to be the leader of those who persecuted them and the Romans had been holding him illegally without a trial.  As a Roman citizen Paul had rights that were being denied and so here is Paul chained up in a prison cell with everyone against him.  He had every right to be angry, bitter and filled with malice and yet he isn’t holding on to these things he has let them go which gives him some authority to tell us to let it go.  Paul believes it is possible to get rid of anger and if Paul could do it after all he went through, it gives me confidence that I can do it too.

If we don’t believe it’s possible to get rid of our anger, then what we are left with is holding onto it for the rest of our lives and learning how to manage it.  I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to live my life holding on to more and more anger because at some point all that pain will overwhelm me – so I have to believe Paul and trust God that it is possible to let it go.  Now the truth is that Paul doesn’t just say – let it go – period of end of story, he gives us rules for how to do this.  Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you.

So we let go of anger by picking up something else – compassion.  We let go of bitterness and replace it with something positive - kindness.  We help others.  We encourage others.  We serve others and those positive things give us the strength to let go of the bitterness, anger and rage.  And then it says we are to forgive one another and Paul follows that up with the phrase we heard last week, as God forgave you.  We are to forgive as God has forgiven us.  Last week we talked about God’s rule which is to treat others as God has treated us.  So we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us and what helps us forgive others is to let go of hatred and anger is to start doing something positive, by being kind and compassionate.

Last year we spent some time talking about forgiveness and we used the image of a backpack and each time someone hurt us or disappointed us it was like a rock being tossed into that pack.  We can either carry these rocks around our entire life and be burdened by their weight and have our lives slowly decline because of what we are carrying, or we can choose to do what – let it go or forgive.  Forgiveness is letting go of the rocks, it is an intentional decision to let go of the anger and bitterness.  Forgiveness is a decision - it is not a feeling.  Forgiveness is a choice we make long before our emotions are all lined up and we feel positive toward someone else – it’s making the decision to let things go even when others don’t deserve it and we don’t feel like.  
In the Bible, the word forgive at times means cancelling a debt.  A debt is created when someone owes us something.  When someone borrows money from us they have created a debt and they now owe us something and forgiveness in the Bible means that we make the decision to cancel the debt.  Whatever people owe us, we make the decision to cancel the debt.  So what we need to do if we want to forgive people is to first determine what they owe us.

Many times when we feel hurt or disappointed by someone it is because they have taken something from us.  When relationships fall apart we may feel like our stability and self worth has been stolen.  When we are let go from a job our dreams can be taken away, our financial future can be stolen.  When divorce drives families apart we may feel like our children and the ability we have to always be with them has been stolen.  Many times the anger or bitterness we feel toward others comes because of something we have lost or something that has been stolen and if we can identify the debt it helps us be able to forgive and cancel that debt.

Now you might be asking yourself, why should I cancel the debt?  After all, they owe me.  The truth is that many times there is no good reason why we should forgive.  When the sin or offense of others is real and the pain is genuine and the disappointment runs deep there is often no good reason to forgive.  The only reason we need to consider forgiving others is because God has forgiven us.  When forgiveness is hard and makes no earthly sense, the only reason we should consider what Paul says here and forgive others is because we are forgiven people.

When we didn’t deserve it, God forgave us.  When we were running hard in our sin – God’s grace found us and God forgave us, He invited us home again.  Even today as we continue to fall short of how God wants us to live, God forgives us.  When we hurt and disappoint God, God forgives us.  When we make a mess of all God has given us, God forgives us.  How can we accept God’s forgiveness and then not be willing to forgive others.  How can we accept God’s grace in cancelling our debt and then not be willing to cancel the debt of others?

When Jesus was asked a question about forgiveness he used this story to talk about how we need to forgive others because we are forgiven people.  There was a man who owed his master over $300,000 and he had no way to pay off the debt so the master simply said, you don’t owe me anything.  The debt is cancelled.  The man left his master overjoyed but on his way home he ran into a friend who owed him less than $100.  The friend said, I can’t pay you back and the man who had just been forgiven was so outraged that he took his friend to court and had him thrown into jail until he could pay back the money.  When the master heard about this he called the man and said, How is it that I forgave your huge debt and you weren’t willing to forgive something so small?

It’s the same with God.  He has forgiven us for so much.  Think of all the words we have said that have hurt God and others.  Think of the negative attitudes and destructive prejudices that have dishonored others and think of all of our actions that have gone against God’s will and destroyed the work of God.  God has cancelled a huge debt and he’s not even done yet because there will be more words, attitudes and actions in our lives that will work against God and he will forgive it all.  God has forgiven us of much and is willing to forgive so much more and all God is asking is that as forgiven people will now forgive others.  The more we understand how forgiven we really are, the more motivation we will find to forgive others.  The more grace and mercy we realize God has poured in our lives, the more grace and mercy we will be willing to extend to others.  Forgiven people forgive and so we need to stop and reflect on all the ways that God has forgiven us and all the ways that people have forgiven us.  Before we can really forgive others we need to learn just how forgiven we are.

So forgiven people forgive, but making the decision to forgive doesn’t instantly take away our anger, bitterness or rage.  So forgiveness is not a onetime event but a lifestyle to embrace.  In fact the Greek word that Paul uses here is in the present tense which implies that forgiveness is constant and ongoing.  Jesus said the same thing when he was asked how many times we should forgive someone.  7 times?  70 times?  70 x 7 times?  No, Jesus said, we are to forgive 70 x 70 times, which was his way of saying we are to forgive people all the time.  Forgiveness is a lifestyle where every moment of every day we need to tell ourselves – they don’t owe me anymore.  Someone offends me – they don’t owe me anymore.  Someone hurts me – they don’t owe me anymore.  Some disappoints me, takes from me, holds me down, steals from my heart, life and future and we say again and again - they don’t owe me anymore.

I’m going to tell you right now that just saying this over and over won’t suddenly take the feelings of our anger away.  It won’t suddenly remove all bitterness, rage and malice - but it will start.  I’ve been practicing this week and when I have gotten frustrated or angry I would say to myself and sometimes out loud – they don’t owe me anymore.  When I have made the decision to forgive just as God has forgiven me, I have been immediately reminded if all I have been forgiven of, I have actually thought about my sin that God has forgiven.  Did the anger or disappointment go away?  Not completely, but my focus changed and instead of seeing what others had done to me or what others owed me, I was now thinking about how God had forgiven me and that forgiven people forgive.

This is life rule #2 – Forgiven people forgive.  We forgive others just as God has forgiven us.  I want to encourage you this week to take some time to reflect on the forgiveness of God.  We have provided some scripture from the old and new testament that talk about how deep and wide God’s forgiveness really us and when we think about all those times and ways God has forgiven us – it gives us the motivation to forgive others.

I also want to encourage you to step into a lifestyle of forgiveness by identifying the people you are angry with.  This is usually the easiest step because the people we are angry with are usually the people we are thinking about the most.  These are the people with whom we have those imaginary conversations where we tell them exactly how we feel and how wrong they have been?  Once we identify the people we need to identify what it is they have taken from us.    Don’t just say they have offended me, or hurt me and stop there, identify what they have taken from you.  Have they taken our self esteem or worth?  Have they taken our hopes and dreams for the future or the possibility of having a healthy family?  Have they stolen time and wasted energy that could have been put to better use?  Have they stolen a piece of heart or integrity?  What have they taken and stolen?  We can’t fully cancel the debt until we know what it is they owe us.

The third step is to make the decision to forgive.  Cancel the debt.  Say it out loud – they don’t owe me anymore.  You may not feel like it and they may not deserve it, but make the decision and tell yourself and God that they don’t owe you anymore.  Forgiveness is the decision we make today and if we will make it today and tomorrow and every day to come then freedom will come and in time our feelings will match our actions.  Paul experienced this freedom because every day he forgave and the reason he forgave is because he knew that he was forgiven.  So identify who you are mad at and what they owe you and then make the decision to forgive because God’s life rule is that forgiven people forgive.


Next Steps
Life Rules ~ Forgive

1.  Review these passages that help us focus on God’s ongoing forgiveness of our sin.
• Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 1:18,
• Daniel 9:9, Micah 7:18-19
• Matthew 6:14-15 and 26:28,
• Mark 11:25, Luke 23:34,
• Acts 3:19,  Ephesians 1:7, 4:32,
• Colossians 1:13-14, 3:13,  1 John 1:9

2.  Make a list of your sins that God has forgiven.  Give thanks that God has forgiven you of all this!

3.  Identify who you are angry with.

4.  Determine what these people owe you.
• Make a list of all the debts.
• Be specific about what they have stolen

5.  Make the decision to cancel their debt.  Remember this is a decision we make and not a result of our feelings.  Cancelling the debt may have to take place moment by moment, day by day before we feel any sense of peace and freedom.

Life Rules ~ Love

Today we begin a new series called Life Rules and over the next six weeks we are going to look at some of the rules God has given us for relationships.  Our lives are a complex mix of rules that direct all relationships, situations and interactions.  Sometimes these rules are clear and direct; sometimes they are more subtle and sometimes they aren’t even spoken but we know them because they have been impressed upon us since childhood  Think of all the rules we learned growing up.  My Mom talks about how at the dinner table when she was a child the rule was that children were to be seen but not heard.  That is a rule for relationships at the dinner table.  My mom was also taught that if you were to speak, it was to be appropriate and polite.  One day when her family had the new minister over for dinner, my Mom knew the rules.  She was to be seen and not heard, and if she wanted to speak at the table it was to be appropriate and polite.  When my mom wanted some butter for her rolls, she used the most appropriate words she could think of for when a minister was visiting and very clearly said,  For Christ’s sake, will you pass the butter.  Her parents were mortified, but the new ministry laughed until he cried.

In most homes with more than one child a life rule that is often heard is an eye for an eye.  Now it might be said this way, most of the time it is said like this, but she hit me first.  At least that is what I said many times growing with two sisters.  Jesus gave us a life rule for relationships in what has come to be known as the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you and while we might want this to rule our lives, many of us follow a very different version of this rule.  Do unto others as they do unto you or even, do unto others before they do it unto you.

So in all of our relationships there are rules that we follow.  There are rules for parents, children, friends, teammates, coworkers, teachers, roommates, neighbors and yes, even rules for God.  There is an entire set of rules we have when it comes to our relationship with God and if you grew up going to church, many of these rules we learned by just going to church.  One of the rules I learned was that we had to look our best for God – so when we went to church we had to wear our Sunday best.  When I was a child, my Dad’s parents came to visit and my Grandmother was mortified one Sunday because we couldn’t find my good shoes and I had to go to church in sneakers and I was the minister’s son.  Breaking this rule just about killed my Grandmother.  Now what she didn’t know is that I knew where my shoes were all the time, they were hidden under the bed, I just didn’t want to wear them.

Even as a child I was beginning to figure out what rules were going to guide my relationship with God.  Many years later I worked in Yellowstone NP and helped lead worship services there and I got into an argument with another member of our ministry team because he held firmly to the rule that we had to wear our Sunday best.  His rule was that I had to wear a coat and tie to help lead in worship.  My rule was that as long as I looked neat and clean, I could wear what I wanted.  We argued about these rules and I used scripture to back up mine saying that in 1 Samuel 16:7 it says, Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.  I challenged him to find where in the Bible it said I had to wear a coat and tie and he couldn’t do it.  I didn’t wear a coat and tie that summer.

There are many other rules we follow in our relationship with God.  For example, we watch what we say when we are in church because there are just certain words we wouldn’t use here.  A few weeks ago I really had to stop and think about using the word dog poop.  Was that acceptable?  There is one set of rules that govern our language at home and work and even in the car as we drive to church but then another set of rules take over when we get here.  It’s a silly game we play because God hears what we say as we drive to church just as much as he hears what we say when we get here, but these are often the rules we live by in our relationship with God.

So there are different sets of rules that govern our different relationships and we often have one set of rules for God and another set for everyone else and many of us work to keep these rules completely separate.  We often see our relationship with God as vertical where it is just me and God and therefore has no impact or bearing on anyone else.  All of our other relationships are horizontal and these relationships are often messy, difficult and chaotic and lots of different sets of rules apply and as long as we keep these rules and relationships separate from God then how we treat other people has no bearing on our faith.  As long as our religion just looks at the relationship between me and God, the focus is on things like worship, prayer and reading the Bible and if this is true than I can have a strong faith regardless of the way I treat other people, but Jesus makes it clear that our relationship with God is not separate from our relationship with others.

Jesus said that the health and maturity of our relationship with God is actually determined by the health and maturity of our relationship with others, look at Matthew 5:23-24.  Jesus is clear that we can’t come and talk to God until we are willing to talk out our issues with others.  We can’t be at one with God as long as we are divided from those people God has placed in our lives.  There can’t be two sets of rules we follow.  We can’t hold others at arm’s length in anger while asking God to open his arms up to us in love.  The health of our relationships with others determines the health of our relationship with God.

Look at 1 John 1:6 and 1 John 2:9.  So we can’t claim to have it going on with God and be strong in faith when our relationships aren’t reflecting God’s light and love and grace.  If we think our relationship with God is strong but the relationships in our lives are a shattered mess that we aren’t willing to do anything about, then we are kidding ourselves about our relationship with God.  Again, look at John 13:34-35.  The way the world knows we are followers of Jesus isn’t by what we wear on Sunday or by how often we pray and read the Bible or even by the nice words we use when we are here, the world sees our faith by looking at our relationships with one another.  The two are permanently connected and they were connected by Jesus.

In Jesus day there were life rules that governed everything and there was an ongoing argument about which rule was the most important.  When asked, Jesus said the most important rule is to , Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.  This was exactly what the people thought Jesus would say, but he didn’t stop there, he added this, and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself.  Jesus is saying that our love for God is linked to our love for others.  We can’t separate them.  We can’t have love for God govern this vertical relationship and then turn around and hate those people God has put in our lives.  Jesus is linking together our relationship with Him and our relationships with others and saying that the same rules apply.  If we love God – we have to love others, in fact the world will know we love God because they will see our love for others.

Let’s face it; our faith would be a lot easier to live if it was just a matter of loving God.  If all we had to do for a strong faith was attend worship, pray and read the Bible – things would be easy, but our faith is not like that.  The health and strength of our relationship with God is determined by the health and strength of our relationship with others, so for the next few weeks we are going to look at some of the rules God has given to help make our relationships strong.  We are going to see that faith development is relationship building and healing and if we aren’t willing to work on these personal relationships - then our relationship with God, our faith, will not be healthy and it will not grow.

As we begin to talk about how our relationship with others needs to follow the same rules as our relationship with God, it’s important to take a step back and not take for granted that we can have a relationship with God.  This truth itself is amazing.  We have been invited into a relationship with the living God.  The one who not only created us but the world in which we live wants us to know him and love him.  While we aren’t worthy of this relationship, we have just spent three weeks talking about how God invites us to come home again.  God desires us to come back into a relationship with Him through Jesus.  This is a relationship of unconditionally love.  It is a relationship where God forgives us and accepts us and offers us a life that is powerful and eternal.
This invitation might be called salvation, abundant life or eternal life, but whatever we call it, it is a relationship with God that forever changes us and this invitation carries with it the implication that our relationships here will change as well.  Look at Ephesians 4:1.

The word calling can also be translated as invitation.  We have been invited into a relationship with God and to live a life of faith, but Paul doesn’t define this new life in terms of religion but relationship – Ephesians 4:2.  Paul doesn’t say, now that you love Jesus you need to pray more, worship more, and read your Bible more; he says, now that you have entered into this relationship with God, be completely humble and gentle and patient.  He is saying that our relationship with God needs to shape our relationship with others and that our relationship with others need to reflect and even mirror our relationship with God.  How God has treated us now becomes the standard for how we treat others.  Remember the golden rule we mentioned earlier – do unto others as you would have them do unto you – while we often turn this into do unto others as they do unto you or do unto others before they do unto you – God’s rule is do unto others as God has done unto you.

This needs to be our life rule #1 – Love others as God has loved you.  Treat others as God as treated you.  Do unto others as God has done unto you.  Paul goes on to clarify some of what God has done for us and what love needs to look like in our relationships in Ephesians 4:2.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Paul has identified four ways that God has loved us which means that this is how we are to love others.

First, we are to be humble because God humbled himself for us, Philippians 2:5-8.  Humility means thinking of others before we think of ourselves and putting the needs of others before our own.  But you may be saying, Why should I put the needs of others first when they aren’t helping me or supporting me or even being nice to me? They don’t deserve this.  That’s right, they don’t and neither did we.  God humbled himself and came in the person of Jesus and Jesus died while the world was caught up in sin.  We didn’t deserve Jesus taking on our sin, but he did it because he loved us and the reason we love others and humble ourselves even when they aren’t worthy is because God has done this for us.  When we were not worthy of God’s love and grace, when we were living lives far away from God and all He wanted for us, God humbled himself and loved us.  Today we still aren’t worthy of God’s love but God continues to humble himself and reach out to us in love which means we need to humble ourselves and love others.  We do for others as God has done for us.

Not only are we supposed to be humble, but gentle.  Now before you start thinking that gentle is not really a word you want used to describe your life and lifestyle, what the word really means is self-controlled.  Being gentle means controlling our anger and frustration so that when we could be powering up against others we choose to gear down.  In the news right now there is a lot of debate about domestic violence and how we parent our children and many times in our relationships when our anger and frustration kicks in, we need to learn how to bring down our emotions so that we can control our words and actions.

Again, we don’t do this because others deserve it, in fact we might be completely justified in our anger, but think about this – so is God.  God is completely justified in his anger toward us because we choose to turn from him again and again.  We all sin and fall short of what God wants from us, which means God is justified in his anger but he chooses not to act on that anger and instead is gentle.  God is self controlled and that is why we are to be self controlled.   We do for others as God has done for us.

God is also patient.  Think about how patient God is with us.  We fail God and fall into sin over and over again.  We say we will never do it again and then we do it again.  We have wandered into all manner of sin and at times even run from God and yet God is patient and like the father in the prodigal son, he waits patiently for us to return home.  Since God has been so patient with us we really need to learn how to be patient with others.  Think how foolish it sounds to say, Yes God, I know you have been patient with me and you have waited on me and for me all my life, but seriously, this is their last chance this person has.  If they don’t come around this time – I’m done.  When I think of how patient God has been with me during my life and how patient God is with me today, it makes me realize I haven’t even touched the surface of learning how to be patient with the people God has put in my life.

And then it says we are to bear with one another and this doesn’t mean putting up with people we like when they might rub us the wrong way, this means bearing with people who are unbearable.  We will look at this more in a few weeks when we talk about acceptance, but this is an important part of our faith that the world really needs to see in us.  We are so divided in our society that any kind of disagreement often leads to complete rejection.  When we find people unbearable we dismiss them, but God says, bear with them because I have bared with you.

So our first rule is to love others as God has loved us and the key to applying this rule isn’t to focus what we need to do for others, but on what God has done for us.  Let me say that again.  The key to applying this life rule isn’t to focus on what we need to do for others, the key is to focus on all that God’s love has done for us.  The more we understand and accept God’s love the more we will understand how and why we need to love others.  In fact, the more we understand how God has loved us and forgiven us, and accepted us, and served us, and encouraged us and even submitted himself for us, the more these life rules will strengthen and heal our relationship.  And the stronger our relationships become – the stronger our faith and trust in God becomes.


Next Steps
Life Rules ~ Love


1.  What were/are the spoken and unspoken rules in your family?  What are some of the rules in your relationships with coworkers, teammates and neighbors?


2. What rules have guided your faith?  What rules about a relationship with God did you learn as part of a church?


3. Is the golden rule part of your life?  How is the golden rule different from the life rule: do unto others as God has done unto you?


3.  Read Ephesians 4:1-2.  Paul calls us to be humble, gentle (self-controlled) and patient and to bear with one another because God has done these things for us.  Identify times when God has been this way with you:
• Humble
• Gentle (self-controlled)
• Patient
• Bearing with you


4.  In each of these four areas, identify specific people in your life that God is inviting you to love as He has loved you:
• Humble
• Gentle (self-controlled)
• Patient
• Bearing with them

You CAN God Home Again ~ God Celebrates Us!

The last few weeks we have been talking about how we CAN go home again.  The home we are talking about is not a geographical location and it is not the glory days of our past.  We also are not talking about our eternal home in heaven.  The home we have been talking about is a relationship with God where we can experience God’s acceptance, forgiveness and power.  Coming home also means returning to the family of God, or the church, where we can experience the joy of life that comes when we share our faith and lives together.  While we often feel far from God and unworthy of being part of the community of faith – the truth we have seen these past few weeks and the message of God has always been that we CAN go home again.

The reason we can return to God is that God has promised us this home.  When Jacob ran away he was given a promise that someday he would be able to return home.  Jesus said that he has gone to prepare a home for us and he wasn’t just talking about a home in heaven but a relationship with God here and now.  Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, a way has been opened for us to experience the fullness of life with God now.  The death of Jesus took on our sin, which once separated us from God, and the resurrection of Jesus shows us that our sin has been forgiven and overcome so that we can experience the fullness of life.  So God has promised us a home, a relationship with Him, and it is waiting here for us if we will just turn to God.

Last week we saw that coming home to God isn’t always an easy journey.  Returning to God often means that things in our lives need to change and that we have to work to set things right – but God is there to help us and give us the patience and power we need to do it.  Hagar was going to have a difficult time going home and working through the situation with Sarah and Abraham, but God was going to see her through.  There were difficult days she faced, but God sustained her and helped her on her journey and God is here to help us too.  God sustains us for our journey home.

Today I want us to look at what happens when we finally get home because it may not be what we think.  Many people see God as the Divine Referee who constantly scans our life looking for something wrong so he can call a foul or throw a flag.  We say the wrong thing: a hurtful word or something that is not quite true and a flag is thrown.  We fail to help someone – flag.  We think the wrong thought – flag.  We make a mistake – flag.  When we see God this way, coming home is scary because we think we will only face judgment and condemnation.  But this view of God is not what we find in the Bible.  In fact, the image of God given to us by Jesus is not of a legalistic master but a loving father.

One of the most powerful images of God we find in scripture comes from Jesus who told three stories that paint a picture of God for us.  The first story is of God as a shepherd who drops everything to go and search for the one lost sheep.  God wanted that sheep to come home again so he went out to find it and when he did find him he gathered him up in his arms and carried him home again.  The second story is of God as a woman who diligently searches her home looking for a lost coin.  Can I just stop here and say that Jesus comparing God to a woman is pretty radical.  Part of what Jesus is saying here is that God really is for everyone and everyone is loved and cared for by God.  So God is compared to a woman who searches for a lost coin and gives all her time and energy until she finds it.  The third story is of God as a father and instead of reading the story, I want us to experience the story with a fresh set of eyes.

The Prodigal Son Video

What I love about the video is the party.  When the son finally came home, the father celebrated.  They danced and laughed and ate with joy.  Think about it – that’s God.  God celebrates our return.  God celebrates us.  God isn’t that legalistic referee just waiting to call fouls and assess penalties in our life – he is the father who can’t wait for us to come home so we can celebrate together.  When we come home again God doesn’t stand over us in judgment, the Bible says he dances over us with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17
To understand why God celebrates our return we need to understand the character and heart of God and Jesus shows us God’s heart when he shows us the father in this parable.  In Luke 15:20 it says, while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  Wow, there is a lot in that one sentence.  The first thing we learn is that the father sees the son while he is still far away, just a speck on the horizon.  Why is that?  It’s because the father scanned the horizon everyday looking for his son’s return.  The father so hoped that his son would come home that he took time everyday to look down the road and over the hill and off to the horizon to see if he could see him returning.  Morning, noon and night the father looked to see if his son was coming home.  He wanted him to, he believed he would and he waited patiently for that day to come.

That is the heart of God.  God wants us to come home, he hopes we will and he waits patiently for us to return.  This is not a new image of God created by Jesus; it is formed from the compassionate God that is found in the Old Testament.  Many people see the God of the OT as a God of judgment and the God of the NT as a God of love, but listen to this – Hosea 11:1-4, 8-9 and Hosea 14:1-4.  This is where Jesus got his image of a father who forgives.  God is always willing to forgive when we return to him and he celebrates our return with forgiveness, grace, love and life.  That celebration of God is referenced in Hosea 14:5.  God sends the dew – the water that the brings life in the desert and God is there to return us to our roots and help establish us in His home.

God celebrates our return because God’s compassion for us is strong.  God celebrates us for no other reason than he loves us, but the radical nature of God’s love is really seen in what happens next.  Jesus says the father runs out to son, throws his arms around him and kisses him.  None of that is what respectable men in Jesus day would have done.  They would NOT have run and they would NOT have embraced a man who had just been working with pigs and a father would NOT have kissed a son who had betrayed him.  The actions of the Father show us the radical nature of God’s love.  It’s a love that tears down barriers and overturns traditions to reach out and welcome us home.  When we are least deserving – God is most loving.  When we feel most unworthy – God is most welcoming.  The radical nature of God’s love is hard to capture, but a spontaneous party for an arrogant son who returns home in humility does a pretty good job of it.  God truly celebrates our return because he loves us so much.

What’s great about this story is that God doesn’t just go out to welcome one son home, he goes out to welcome both his sons home.  Look at Luke 15:28.  The older son was angry that his little brother was able to come back without any consequences or punishment.  After all he had done for his father, it just wasn’t fair, so like another son I know, he ran away to pout.  Once again, the father loves his children so much that he leaves the party to go out and find his son and when he does he embraces him and pleads with him to return home.  God wants all of his children to come home.  God wants those who are far away but God also wants those that are close by but at times struggle to understand.  God wants us all to come home and God wants us to celebrate together.

See the celebration isn’t just for God and the angels of heaven, the celebration is for those who return as well.  Can I say it – God wants us to celebrate together.  God wants us to party with one another and celebrate with God our connection as a family.  One of the greatest joys God has is when he sees his children celebrate together.  Look at Psalm 133.  The dew on Mt. Hermon would be a blessing because just the morning dew is enough water in the desert to bring it to life.

I believe seeing us celebrate together blesses God because one of the greatest joys as a pastor is to see and hear about God’s people celebrating together.  When I hear about Bible Studies and small groups getting together for parties and celebrations – it lifts my heart.  When I hear about other church groups coming together to celebrate or serve together, my heart is filled with joy.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing God’s people rejoice and I pray we will do that more and more.  Our celebrations not only strengthen who we are by drawing us closer to God and one another but they are a light that shines into the darkness of this world.  The world needs to see the church celebrate because they need to see a God who celebrates them.

The truth is we need to celebrate because we belong to a God who not only knows how to celebrate but has called us to celebrate with him.  Think about the worship God commanded his people to follow in the Old Testament.  On Mt. Sinai when God gave Moses the 10 Commandments and the law, God also gave 7 feasts or festivals that the people were to celebrate each year.  On these days the people were not supposed to work, instead they were to offer sacrifices and then share in meals and celebrate together.  These festivals were spaced throughout the year because God wants celebration to be an active and ongoing part of our lives.

Take a look at the festivals God has given us.  Three were to be celebrated in the Spring: Passover, Unleavened Bread, First Fruits.  One was to be celebrated in the summer: Pentecost.  And the last three in the fall: Trumpets, Atonement, Tabernacles

What each of these feasts or festivals celebrated was God’s goodness, grace and mercy reaching out us, you might say that each in their own way was celebrating God welcoming us home.
Look at what these festivals celebrate:
• Passover - celebration of the salvation God gives.
• Unleavened Bread - celebration of the holiness God gives.
• First Fruits - celebration of life and harvest God gives.
• Pentecost - celebration of the 2nd harvest  and sustaining power God gives.
• Trumpets – celebration of the victory God gives.
• Atonement - celebration of forgiveness God gives.
• Tabernacles - celebration of the homes God gives.

So these celebrations really are a celebration of who God is and what God gives to us and because God gives us forgiveness, salvation, victory and the promise of a home, we CAN go home again.

God calls us to come home today because he loves us and he wants us to experience life with Him.  When we come home there is not judgment waiting for us, but the celebration of God’s forgiveness and love.  All that’s left is turning toward home.  All that’s left is making the decision to return to God.  He is waiting, he is watching and he is hoping that today will be the day we will ALL come home again.

 
Next Steps
You CAN Go Home Again ~ Part 3
God Celebrates Us!


1. Read the three stories found in Luke 15.  Reflect and give thanks for all the ways God is seen searching for us when we are lost, welcoming us home and celebrating our return.

2. There are seven feasts God called the people to celebrate (see Leviticus 23).  Each day this week use one of these feasts as means of giving thanks to God and celebrating all God has given us.
• Passover – the celebration of salvation God gives us.
• Unleavened Bread – the celebration of God’s holiness.
• First Fruits – the celebration of the harvest God provides for us for life.
• Pentecost – the celebration of the 2nd harvest which is a symbol of God’s sustaining grace.
• Trumpets – the celebration of the victory God gives us over all things.
• Atonement – the celebration of God’s forgiveness that allows us to come home to Him.
• Tabernacles – the celebration of the home God gives us today and our eternal home in heaven.

3.  It is God’s desire that we all come home to him.  If you have been feeling far from God, return to him today in humility with this simple prayer: “God, forgive my wandering heart.  I’m tired of running and living without you in my life.  Please accept me home as I trust in the grace you have given me through the death and resurrection of Jesus.  AMEN.”

4.  Now CELEBRATE!  God has welcomed you home!!

You CAN Go Home Again - God Sustains Us

Growing up, one of my chores was to clean up all the dog poop in our yard.  I really didn’t like this job and I thought it was totally unfair that I was always the one who had to do it.  My sisters chore was to wash the dishes, but we all helped to do that, but I always had to go out in the yard with a shovel and bag by myself to clean up after our two dogs.  One day the injustice of this situation was just too much for me so I did what any smart third grade boy does – I ran away.  It seemed like a good idea because my sister had run away a few times and she always got a lot of attention and sympathy.  When my sister ran away she would pack her bag and go out onto the beach in front of our house and stay for a few hours and then come home, that never made much sense to me, so I decided to run away the right way.  I didn’t pack a bag and I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving, I just left and hid out in a place where I was sure my parents wouldn’t find me.  I ran into the woods not far from our house, made sure I was far enough off the road not to be seen and sat down to pout – I mean, to think about the injustice of my life.  

While the details are clearly different, Hagar also ran away from home because she felt like the circumstances of her life were unfair.  Hagar was a maidservant to Sarah and Abraham and if you know their story, God had promised Sarah and Abraham that they were going to have a child.  They were both well advanced in years when that promise was made and when a child didn’t come after several more years, Abraham and Sarah decided to take matters in their own hands and have a child through a surrogate.  Sarah chose her servant Hagar to carry the child, but it was the understanding in those days that if a servant had a child with everyone’s consent and participation – it would be like the child really belonged to Sarah.  

After Hagar became pregnant, the personal dynamics of the family fell apart.  Sarah got jealous and started treating Hagar poorly.  Both women complained to Abraham who, like all good husbands, just told the women to work it out themselves.  Over time Hagar grew increasingly frustrated and bitter.  She said to herself, “It’s not fair that I should be treated this way.  I shouldn’t suffer like this when I am helping them out.  It’s just not right.”  Like me, Hagar didn’t have a lot of control over her situation, but there was one thing she could do, she could run away.  Hagar fled into the wilderness and this is where we pick up the story in Genesis 16:7-15.  

This story of Hagar reminds us that there is no place we can run that is beyond the reach of God.  Hagar was in the desert and after seeing the incredible vastness of the Judean wilderness...

I can understand why she might think she was beyond anyone’s reach, but Hagar was not beyond the reach of God.  The same is true for us today.  There is nowhere we can run that is beyond the reach of God.  There is no activity or attitude that is so bad that God won’t reach out to find us and then to help us.  God is always there.  The psalmist makes this clear in Psalm 139:7-12.  There is no darkness too dark for God, no place too far from God’s reach and no sin that God cannot overcome and forgive.  We simply can’t run away from God completely – we might be living far from him and we might feel abandoned and alone, but just like Hagar found out, God is with us.  

But God was more than present with Hagar; the angel said God heard her misery.  God hears us too.  When things are not what we want them to be and not what we think they should be, God hears us.  He hears our pain and frustration and anger.  God heard Hagar crying out but God did something more than listen, God sent angels to assure her that He heard her cry and that He was going to help.  So God hears us when we cry for help but he doesn’t just listen, God sends people and messages that assure us that God is with us and that God will help us.   

So God heard Hagar crying for help and his answer to her was to go home.  Go back to your mistress and submit to her.  You can go home, Hagar, but going home is going to mean being humble.  This is what we heard last week with Jacob.  We can return to home but the first step in getting there is to humble ourselves and acknowledge that we have made mistakes and need to work to make things right.  Hagar could go home again, but she had to be humble and submit herself to Sarah.  But it’s not just humility we see here; God is also telling Hagar that going home isn’t going to be easy.  Look at Genesis 16:12.  There is going to be tension and struggles that will continue for Hagar and her son Ishmael.  

So while God has promised that we CAN go home again, we are told that going home will not always be easy.  Sometimes it is hard and the road ahead is filled with struggles.  At least that was what awaited me when I went home.  After I hid in the woods for several hours and heard my parents drive by calling out my name, I finally decided that I really hadn’t thought out this whole running away thing very well.  What was I going to eat?  Where was I going to sleep?  What was I going to do all night?  So I went home again and in my mind I thought my parents would be so happy to see me, that they would tell me I didn’t have to clean up after the dogs ever again and that all would be ok.  Well, that’s not exactly how it played out. 

My parents were very relieved when I came home, but they were also pretty upset and there were some consequences to my running away – like I was sent to my room without dinner AND I was going to have to clean up after the dogs the next day AND that would continue to be my chore. (Not what I had planned.)  My choices had consequences and while I was welcomed home with open arms and thankful hearts – there were still struggles to endure and consequences to work through.  

God says we can come home again and we can enter into a strong and vital relationship with Him that brings healing, hope and life, but sometimes coming home is hard.  Sometimes we have to work through the consequences of our sin and failures. Sometimes there are financial consequences as we work to set things right or rebuild our lives on the financial principles God has given to us.  Sometimes we have to work through broken relationship and ask God to heal us and other people to forgive us.

Starting in 2 weeks we are going to begin a new series called Life Rules.  For six weeks we are going to explore the rules God gives us for life that if we follow will not only bring us into a deeper relationship with God but will strengthen our relationships with one another.  Making these new rules a part of our lives is some of the hard work we are talking about when we talk about coming home.  Having our lives reflect the love of God and the life of Jesus is not easy, but I want to encourage us all to keep the journey home going by not only being in worship for the series, but joining with others in small groups or a Sunday School Class to discuss what these rules mean for us and how we can follow them in our lives today.  Coming home is always a road open to us, but it is often a difficult road to travel – but the good news is that we don’t travel it alone.  

God not only hears us when we cry for help, but Hagar understood that God was also the one who sees us.  During her encounter with the angels, Hagar called God, El Roi, which means - the God who sees.  This is the only time that a woman gives God a name in the Bible and what is significant is that this woman was not Jewish but Egyptian.  It was an outsider who gave God the name and what that means for us is that when we feel like we are far from God and outside the reach of his love and grace, God is the One who sees us and God is the one who will see us through.

But let’s be clear and understand that God doesn’t see us through our home coming as a passive observer but as an active helper.  God seeing us means God is an active participant in our lives where when we ask for help – God is there and helps.  God helped Hagar return home.  God helped her through the pregnancy and gave her the strength and courage to make it through the difficult days that were ahead of her as her child grew and as the promised child to Abraham and Sarah arrived.  

God remains just as active and powerful in our lives today.  God sustains us and gives us the strength and courage we need to face the challenges of this day and the next one.  Many times we may not feel God’s help or activity – but that doesn’t mean God isn’t there.  He is.  God is always there and if we agree to work with God and yield our lives to Him – we find our lives changed.  

Communion today is another opportunity for us to cry out to God for help, yield ourselves to God’s love and grace, and allow God to heal us and strengthen us.  This is a time and place where we can return to God, where we can come home again, and this is a time and place where God can strengthen and sustain us for the journey ahead.  We all need some nourishment for our lives and faith and we all need some help - this is the place where we can get it.  You CAN come home again to this table and share this meal with God and if we will, we will find God’s strength and power for the days to come.  

Next Steps

You CAN go home again!  Part 2

God Sustains Us

1.  Read the full story of Hagar found in Genesis 16 and Genesis 21:8-21.  Notice how often God hears and sees the problems of Hagar and her son Ishmael.

2.  Hagar calls God, El Roi – the God who sees.  

• How have you experienced God in this way?  

• What problem or concern in your life do you need for God to see today?

• Does God see the problems of our world today?

3.  Coming home means returning to God or returning to a life of faith and a life in the church.  

• What struggles will you face along the journey home?  

• Where will confession be needed?

• Where will forgiveness be needed?

• Where do you need the help of God?  Others?  

4.  What one specific step do you need to take today to continue on your journey home?  

5.  The journey home often means working to heal and restore relationships.  Join us September 21- October 26 as we learn God’s Life Rules that can help strengthen all of our relationships.  Join a small group to discuss these Rules with others and to find support in living them out.  Stop by the connection table for a listing of open small groups.