Travel Light - Letting Go of the Past

For the next few days we will hear all about the top events of 2019.  In sports it was the Washington Nationals winning the World Series,

Tiger Woods returned and won the Masters,

and maybe the most exciting of all, Penn State men’s basketball is ranked in the top 25 for the first time in 23 years!

In weather we had Hurricane Dorian that leveled parts of the Bahamas,

in entertainment we currently have the latest edition of Star Wars, a movie franchise that spans 40 years,

and in politics…

... let’s not even go there.

As we approach the end of a year - and also an end of a decade - we will also think back and reflect on our own lives.  For all of us there have been highs and lows, joys and sorrows, triumphs and tragedies.  As we enter this New Year we need to learn how to let go of the lows, the sorrows, and the tragedies.  It is only in letting go of the problems and failures of our past and travelling light we are able to live into the fullness of the future.  If we constantly rehearse and rehash our past failures, we will never reach the full potential God has for us.  One of the most famous doctors of all time - Lucy Van Pelt - said it the most profoundly when she was talking with Charlie Brown at a baseball game.

The past got in my eyes.  If we don’t let go of the past it will constantly be in our eyes.  Our past mistakes, failures, and pain cloud our vision and if allowed to remain they will shape our future.  Looking back to reflect is one thing, looking back to learn from our mistakes and failures is ok, but to daily look back and remember - to literally rejoin ourselves to the painful and negative events of the past is something we have to let go.  Isaiah 43:18-19.

Forget the former things;  do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

So once again, let’s travel light into the New Year and let go of the past, and that starts by acknowledging what it is in the past that we need to let go.  To truly let go, we need to acknowledge the pain or the problem.  We need to acknowledge the sorrow and the sin if we are going to be able to let it go.  If we can’t name what the problems are that we struggle with, and if we can’t name the sin that weighs us down, then we can never fully let it go.  We have to acknowledge our past and honestly deal with it.

King David was a man who had been called by God to lead the people of Israel and make them into a great nation, but he also had some deep flaws and failures.  He committed adultery with a woman named Bathsheba, and then tried to cover up that sin by having her husband killed.  After these events, David just went on with his life, he never acknowledged his sin or his failure.  Because he never acknowledged the problem, he never asked God for forgiveness or help.  Without asking for forgiveness, those failures were still a part of his life, and his past had the potential to shape his future.  In order for David to truly move on he needed to acknowledge his failure, so God sent a prophet named Nathan to help open David’s eyes.

David finally did acknowledge his sin, and in Psalm 51 he teaches us the process of letting go of the past, and it starts by acknowledging our pain and problems and sin.  Psalm 51:3-4.

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

Here David acknowledges his sin and confesses his failure to God.  At times, what we need to do is name our sin and failure to God.  While God knows what the problem is, we need to name it so that we can own up to it.  If it is sin, then we need to get honest about it so we can begin to move beyond it. Sometimes we need to name our sin so that we see what it is that has a hold on our hearts and lives.  Sometimes we need to own our failures so that we can learn from them and move beyond them.  Naming the sin and failure is helpful for us to move forward into the new life God has for us.

Sometimes what we need to let go of is not sin but the pain and hurt of our past, or the sorrow of loss.  In these situations, it is still important to name what is going on.  God never tires of hearing about where we are struggling in loss, and our disappointments matter to God.  Again, naming the situation isn’t for God’s sake, it is for us.  Being honest about how we have been hurt and disappointed allows us to work through the pain and learn how to let it go.  Whether it is sin, failures, disappointment, hurt, or loss, naming those things in our past that are holding us back is the first step in letting them go.

The second step in letting go is to Ask.  We might need to ask God for forgiveness, we might need to ask God for healing, or ask God for help, but in every situation, what we are asking God for is the grace we need to let go and move forward.  Psalm 51:1-2.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

David reminds us here that the One we are turning to for help is the One who loves us, according to your great compassion, and it is because of this love that God offers help and healing and wholeness.  It is because of God’s love for us that God is willing to listen when we come to him and reach out to us each and every day.  Lamentations 3:22.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

New every morning is God’s compassion and faithfulness.  This means that every day we can turn to God and ask for his grace and mercy.  Every day we can ask God for help.  God never tires of hearing us ask for help because when we ask for help we are saying, God, we love you, we trust you, and we need you.  As a parent, is there any greater words you can hear?  God desires this kind of relationship with us.  The primary relationship in the three we focus on here at Faith Church is our Relationship with God.  One of the rhythms in that relationship is identity and part of our identity is that we are children of God who need God’s grace and love, and so God invites us to ask for that every day.  While we only need to acknowledge our past and confess our sin once, we do need to ask God for grace every day because it is that grace that helps us stay focused on the present and the future.  I would invite you to use Lamentations 3:22 as a daily prayer or daily reading to remind you of God’s grace that is new and available every morning.

So we acknowledge our past pain and problems, we ask God for grace, but then we have to accept what God offers.  Sometimes it is this step that is the hardest for us because what God offers is free.  We don’t deserve to be forgiven and we can’t earn God’s grace.  It is there as a gift - freely given.  Will we accept it?  If we never accept God’s grace, we never experience the power of forgiveness or the freedom of life that helps us move forward.

David was willing to accept God’s grace.  He imagined God’s grace washing over him, cleansing him from the stain of sin.  He willingly let God’s grace enter his heart and life.  He sought the healing power of God and allowed it to change him, to cleanse and purify him.  These are great images to think about.  Accepting God’s grace is like being cleansed.  It is like being washed clean from the filth of the past.  God’s forgiveness removes the stain of sin.  It washes away the hurt of the past, it wipes the slate clean so we can start fresh each day, and each New Year.

Accepting God’s grace and knowing that we are forgiven and washed clean is not always easy.  Because we often feel unworthy, we need is to hear this message day after day after day.  Read Lamentations 3:19-26 every day for a week.  Read 1 John 1:9 and 4:9-10.  Read Psalm 103:9-14.  Passages like these remind us that God does love us and his love is available to forgive us, to wash us clean, and to help us live a new life.

And then finally we need to Advance.  Psalm 51:13-15.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise.

David is looking ahead to what God has for him.  He will teach others who have sinned how to let go of their past, (which he is still doing today through his words given to us!) and he will sing of God’s goodness, and praise God for his mercy.  David doesn’t dwell on the past, he advances into the future to do all that God is asking him to do.  Letting go of our past also means walking into the future God has for us.  We can’t look back, we have to look at what we have and where we are today.  Psalm 118:24 says, this is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.

God wants us looking to the present and future and not focused on the pain and problems of the past.  While God was constantly calling his people to remember, he was not asking people to remember their sin and problems, he was asking them to remember God’s faithfulness and promises so that they would have the strength and power to advance into the life God had for them.  We look back to see the power of God, not the problems that keep us down.  We look back to the see the forgiveness God offers, not our constant failures.  We look back so we can move forward with faith that God is always with us and therefore our future can be better.

The apostle Paul said, Philippians 3:13 - 14,  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

and in 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come.  The old has gone and the new is here.  The new is here. 

A new year is here, a new decade begins, a new life for us is available because God’s mercy and faithfulness is with us today and will be with us every day.  God is inviting us into this new day, this new life, but we only experience it by letting go of the past so we can travel light. 

Acknowledge the past,  
Ask for God’s grace,   
Accept God’s grace.   
Advance into the future.   Into this new year.


Next Steps
Travel Light - Letting Go Of The Past

1. As you review 2019, what problems, pain, and sin do you need to let go?

2. Acknowledge the pain, problem, and sin and offer it to God.
Name the problem.
Write out the painful situation.
Confess the sin to God.
If you can, share this situation with a trusted friend who can help you let go.

3. Ask for God’s grace.
Daily ask God for mercy, strength, and peace.
Read Psalm 51 and use it as a weekly prayer.

4. Accept God’s grace.
Read Lamentations 3:22 each day for a week.
Read 1 John 1:9, 1 John 4:9-10 & Psalm 103:9-14.
Use images like washing away, erasing, and blotting out to help you see how God’s grace truly does forgive our sin and remove our past.

5. Advance into the new day.  This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
How can you be glad in this new day?
What one new thing is God asking you to do in 2020?
What new disciple can help you deepen and develop your relationship with God, the church, or the world?

For more information on the 3 Relationships, go to bellefontefaith.com/3r and check out the 3R workshops coming on Saturday January 25.

Travel Empty - Merry Christmas!

By now, I hope your tree is up, your house is decorated, your cookies are baked, your gifts are bought and wrapped (or ready to wrap), and all that is left is to enjoy this night and the days ahead with family and friends.  But let’s be clear, Christmas is not about the tree, the decorations, the cookies, or the gifts.  All of that stuff is wonderful – it blesses us and others – it is a great way to celebrate the gift of God’s love and the grace given to us in Jesus, but all of that stuff is not what Christmas is all about.  In fact, it might be in letting go of that stuff that we are able to take hold of the gift we do celebrate tonight – the gift of Jesus. 

This month we have seen that the best way to experience Christmas, and really the best way to experience the life God wants for us, is to travel light.  In letting go all the stuff we accumulate in life, and maybe even downsize our gift giving, we begin to find room in our hearts and lives to experience what is ultimately important and valuable.  Letting go of distractions helps us focus on how to be faithful to God and how to be truly present with family and friends.  Letting go of bitterness and the pain we often feel in difficult relationships allows for forgiveness and healing to restore us both to God and one another.  And letting go of control, surrendering to God not just at Christmas time but at all times, can lead us to what God says is best for us.  While we often work hard to hold on to all of this, and then try to carry more and more baggage in life, God says that it is in letting it go and travelling light that we get the most out of life. 

Too often we really do think that the best way to celebrate Christmas is to try and do it all and have it all, but the best way to celebrate Christmas and to get the most out of this season is to empty ourselves, and this lesson was taught to us by none other than those whos down in whoville. 

The whos didn’t need all the trappings of the holiday to celebrate Christmas, they didn’t need ribbons or tags.  They didn’t need packages, boxes or bags.  In fact, it was when their homes and tables and hands were empty that they were able to come together and allow the light of Jesus to enter their lives.  Did you notice that?  It was when they were empty that they left their homes and came together to take the hands of their family, friends, and neighbors to welcome and celebrate the light of God’s love and grace.  The love of God, and the love God has for us to share with one another, is often only experienced when we empty ourselves and travel light.

The Christmas story is the story of travelling light, in fact, it is the story of God being willing to empty himself completely to travel into this world to love us and forgive us.  We would not be here tonight celebrating the gift of Jesus, God’s son, our Savior, if Jesus had not been willing to empty himself and be the first to travel light. 

When God came into the world he could have come any way he wanted to – he was God.  He could have come as a powerful king who simply appears and commands all power and authority.  He could have come as a spectacular religious leader whose every word and action would have been filled with the glory of God’s splendor for all the world to see.  He could have come as a spiritual force that would have compelled all hearts and minds to God by force.  God could have come full of authority, glory, and power, but he didn’t.  Instead God emptied himself of everything and came as an infant, born in a manger in Bethlehem. 

Jesus traveled light and came as a vulnerable infant.  He was empty of all power and strength.  He was 100% dependent upon his parents and others for survival.  Jesus arrived empty of position and honor.  No one was even willing to make any room for him so his parents had to clean out a manger – a feeding trough – to use as a crib.  And let’s be clear – Joseph probably did have to empty out a manger to use as a crib because Bethlehem was a city full of travelers who came with animals and all those animals had to eat.  The manger would have been full so Joseph had to empty it in order for it to hold Jesus. 

Jesus was God in the flesh, but to come to us in the flesh God had to empty himself of glory, and power, and strength, and then God emptied himself again and entered the life of an ordinary couple.  What we celebrate tonight is the choice God made to travel light – to empty himself.  We hear this from Philippians 2:6-11

Jesus, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

I love that God didn’t choose to just send us his word.  God wasn’t content with a book or a set of commandments for us to read and follow, God wanted more than that, he wanted to come in flesh and blood so that we could see him, and hear him, and feel his touch, and experience a relationship with him.  God also came in the flesh and blood of a human being to show us how to live and how to love one another.  God emptied himself of everything so that we could have all things and God did that for a reason - LOVE.

John 3:16 it says, for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, so that whoever believes in him might not perish but have everlasting life.  God loved us so much that he knew the only way for us to fully experience his love and grace was if he emptied himself and came here to live among us.  God so loved the world that he emptied himself and instead of filling himself with wealth, possessions, honor, or glory in this world, he filled his life with our sin so that he could pay the price for that sin and forgive us. 

Jesus emptied himself so that in love he could fill up his life with our pain, brokenness, and rebellion, and take all of that to the cross.  And then when Jesus overcame death and rose from the grave, we see God’s gift of love and forgiveness at work.  Our sin is forgiven.  God’s love has restored us into a relationship with God, and the way of life eternal is now available to us all.

It’s ironic that we celebrate Christmas - God emptying himself and coming as a child in Bethlehem - by filling up our homes with decorations and our lives with more distractions.  We celebrate Jesus coming here empty by filling our hands with more stuff and our lives with more stress.  What began as the gift of God travelling light has turned into a season of us trying to carry more. 
Now please understand, I am not here to be the Grinch and say we should get rid of it all.  I love it all just as much as you do.  The answer isn’t to take down the trees, turn off the lights, and throw out the cookies and the gifts – the answer is to create some moments in our celebration where we can come to Jesus empty in order to receive all he has to give. 

No gift can be received if our hands are holding on to other things, and we cannot receive the gift of Jesus as our savior and we cannot receive the gift of life Jesus has to offer if our hands are holding on to the stuff of this world, the distractions of our lives, the bitterness of our past, or the ongoing battle to try and control our future.  We can’t receive a gift until we empty our hands, and we can’t fully receive God’s love and grace, and the gift of a savior, until we are willing to empty ourselves. 

The shepherds came empty and were able to see the newborn king, maybe even hold him in their arms.  Magi brought gifts but then laid them down, emptied themselves, to take up the truth that this was the new king who had come to reign.  Mary and Joseph had to empty themselves of pride and control in order to bring this child into their lives, and we can only receive the real gift of this day, the gift of Jesus and his forgiveness, the gift of Jesus and the life he has for us, if we will come to him empty. 

So tonight I invite you to empty yourself. 

Make this the moment in your Christmas celebration to empty yourself so that you can experience what this night is really all about - receiving the love of God.  Empty yourself and come to receive Jesus as your savior, the one who emptied himself and traveled light in order to forgive us, to free us for the fullness of life, and the one who says he will be with us forever.  Unto you is given this night the gift of a savior, empty yourself and receive him.

Travel Light - Letting Go of Control

Is there one part of the Christmas celebration that you like to control?  When I was growing up, my sisters and I could all help assemble our tree - yes it was artificial - but only my Dad could put the lights on - yes this was before pre-lit trees were a thing.  When the tree was all decorated, it was my Dad who said that the tinsel had to be put on one strand at a time.  You could not throw globs of it on and hope some of it would stick, you had to pull each strand off and place it on the branch. 

Is there a part of the Christmas celebration with your family that you like to control?  Beyond Christmas, is there at least one area of your life that you like to control?  Go ahead, own it, raise your hand, and if you want to raise your spouses hand right now then you really  have issues of control.  Let’s just be honest and say that we all have issues of control.  I have issues of control.

Those who know me and work with me know that I have a few control issues.  I like to make sure all the light switches in the lobby are all going the same way, and yes I have been known to turn lights off at one end of the hall and go to the other end and turn them on just so they are all going in the same direction.  I will move things around in the lobby so they look right - which really just means looks right to me.  I have turned flowers, straightened stacks of bulletins, moved wooden tables so that all the grain is going in the same direction, and moved hymnals and Bibles in the pews so they are all lined up.  I’m getting therapy for all this - but those issues of control are still there.

It’s not just the church, however, ask my family or friends and they will tell you that where I have real control issues is my refrigerator. 

Here is a picture of how I usually like my fridge to look.  I know, it’s almost empty - but that way it is really organized.  On the door, all the bottles have to be facing the same way, and organized by type and size.  There is a place for eggs, a place for drinks, a place for cheese and meat in the drawer and everything has to be in the right place.  But the sad thing is that it’s not just my refrigerator I try to control, it’s my family’s fridges as well. 

If I visit my family for more than about 24 hours, I will simply start to control their fridge.  I’ll collect the soda that is scattered all over and put them in one place.  I’ll organize the salad dressings and condiments so they are all placed by type and size, and I’ll put things in their proper place - i.e., the place I think they should go.  My mom loves it because it usually means I will end up cleaning her fridge at some point, but it is an issue of control. 

It’s not just fridges, however, it is also closets, storage rooms, and my garage.  I like things to be under control and one of the great things about living alone is that I get to control all those things.  What couples might argue about, like the right way to load the dishwasher, or whether or not you need orderly lines when you vacuum (by the way - you do), or the right way to squeeze out toothpaste is not a problem for me, I do it my way.  But before you judge me, let’s be honest, we all try to control things.

Parents try to control their kids and not always in good ways.  Many parents will push their children in sports or education and some parents will make plans for their child’s future before they are even out of diapers.  We have heard recently about the college admission scandals and how some parents used all the control and power they had to control where their kids went to school.  Making sure our children are in the right college isn’t just important for them, sometimes it is important to us, to our self-image, and in a social media world, our self-image is something else we all work to control.  If you have ever taken more than one photo, or selfie, to get just the right image to post on instagram or facebook, then there is some control issues going on in your life.

When I was in seminary I was talking with a friend of mine during my last semester and I told her how I was constantly organizing and reorganizing my room and she said, you know why you are doing that don’t you.  I said, no.  She said, you can’t control anything in your life right now but you can control your room and what you keep, what you throw away, and where you put things.  I was stunned because she absolutely nailed it.  Nothing in my life was under control as I was waiting to hear about an appointment at a church after graduation.  When I couldn’t control one area of my life, I was compensating and trying to control everything else.

I realize now that when I am stressed, when I feel like things are out of control, I work to control what I can.  So in the chaos of Christmas when we are feeling stressed and things are out of control, are there things we try to control?  Maybe it’s searching for that perfect gift.  Maybe it’s working to make sure every gift looks like it was wrapped by a professional.  Or maybe, like my Dad, you try to control the tree, the lights, the decorations, and the tinsel.  It’s ok to admit it.  I get it, but here’s the hard truth for all of us today - to really embrace the celebration of Christmas, and to really embrace the life God has for us, we have to learn how to travel light and let go of control. 

This season we have learned that to grab hold of all that God wants for us, we have to be willing to let go of stuff, and distractions, and bitterness, and yes - control.  If we want to celebrate Christmas to the fullest, we have to learn how to let go of control, because there would be no Christmas without a few people letting go of control.

Mary was a young girl who knew what she wanted in life.  Many scholars say she may have been as young as 13 or 14, when girls were given to men in marriage, but no matter what age she was, Mary knew what she wanted.  Like all Jewish girls in her day what she wanted was a man who would be faithful to God and to her.  Mary had that man, his name was Joseph, and everything was under control… and then this happened.  Luke 1:26 - 30.

Mary was greatly troubled, but another translation says she was confused and disturbed. That confusion and disturbance came because the plan God had for Mary was NOT the plan Mary had for her life.  Luke 1:30-33. 

This was not Mary’s plan at all.  There is confusion and uncertainty and she even asks God about it and how this can happen.  Luke 1:34-37. 

It’s not recorded in Luke, but I wonder how long Mary wrestled with all of this before she replied.  I wonder how long she remained confused and disturbed by the sudden change of plans and the loss of control.  I have to believe that if Mary was like most of us, which she was, there may have been more than a few seconds as Mary processed all of this and came up with a response.  Her response shows us the big idea we need to take away from her experience.  Luke 1:38. 

This is the big idea we need to take away from Mary’s story, we don’t always have the power to control our lives but we always have the power to surrender.  Mary surrendered herself to God’s purpose and plan and power and once she did, she found that God is always faithful. 

That’s the real take away from this story.  While we don’t always have the power to control our lives, we can always surrender to God, and every time we do surrender to God we see that God is faithful.  Every time Mary surrendered to God she saw and experienced God’s faithfulness.

● May it be…  and Mary found herself pregnant by the power of God.  God’s plan is at work
● May it be…  and an angel confirmed this plan to Joseph.
● May it be…  and Mary who may have been shunned by her neighbors was welcomed and her situation was affirmed by her cousin Elizabeth.
● May it be…  and after Jesus is born, shepherds arrived with the story that angels told them that the Messiah had been born and was lying in a manger – this was confirmation that what God had said was true.
● May it be…  and Magi arrived saying that a king had been born and a star proclaimed his birth and this child was the King.
● May it be… and Mary and Joseph got the news they need to flee to Egypt to protect their child from Herod and where did they get the resources for this trip - from the Magi who brought God.  Again, God was faithful and in control

Mary surrendered to God and at every step, God proved himself faithful - over and over and over again. 

Now fast forward 30+ years and Jesus is being asked by God to carry a cross.  It is the night before this is to happen and Jesus is praying in the garden of Gethsemane.  He is in agony.  He wants to be faithful, but it is going to be difficult and painful.  He knows that he will die on the cross.  Jesus is literally wrestling in prayer and when he finally surrenders he uses almost the same word his mother used many years earlier, may it be with me according to your will.  Not my will but Thy will be done. Both phrases are based on the same Greek word for God’s will.

Jesus surrenders and when he does he finds out that God is faithful. Three days after he died on the cross, Jesus rose from the grave and defeated sin and death.  Every time we surrender to God, God proves himself faithful.  It may not come in an instant, Mary went through periods of doubt during those nine months, and Jesus died on the cross and laid in a tomb for three days, but in time God proved himself faithful, and in time God will prove himself faithful in our lives.  For us to experience God’s faithfulness we have to be willing to surrender, and surrender means we give everything to God, and it means doing this every day.

The story of Mary tells us that we can find the blessing of God’s love and the purpose of God’s plan by letting go of control and surrendering to God.  Jesus calls us to let go of control and surrender to God, and he assures that every time we do, God will prove himself faithful.  Jesus says, those who lose their lives for my sake, those who surrender to God, will find life. 

So
What is it that you are trying to control that God wants you to surrender?  

What’s the burden that is causing you to be disturbed and confused that God is asking you today to let go of?  

 
Next Steps
Travel Light - Letting Go of Control


1. In what specific way can you let go of control during your celebration of Christmas that will help both you and your family experience a better holiday? 

2. Where have you seen God’s faithfulness in the past that might help you let go of control today?

3. What one area of your life do you seek to hold on to control?  Relationships?  Finances?  Your children’s future?  Job?  Surrender this area to God in prayer every day this week.

4. Join us for worship on Christmas Eve as we once again surrender ourselves to Jesus.  Invite others to join you. 

Travel Light - Letting Go of Bitterness

The Christmas season tends to magnify everything.  Snow is more beautiful and magical in December than it is in February.  Seeing lights on everyone’s homes fills us with joy during December, but we laugh when they are still up in April.  Candy canes taste sweet before Christmas but by New Year’s Day we are ready to throw them away, and Christmas carols fill our hearts this month but seem completely out of place on the Fourth of July.  Everything good suddenly seems great during the Christmas season - but everything that is not good also gets magnified.

Loneliness seems more acute and painful during the holidays.  The ache of lost loved ones is felt more deeply.  Financial problems are escalated, depression runs deeper, and disappointments in life seem so much greater and more tragic than at other times of the year.  For many, Christmas is simply a season to endure because everything just seems so much worse. 

Perhaps the thing that is most difficult to deal with during the holidays are the difficult relationships we have with family and friends.  Broken relationships also gets magnified during this season and what are painful situations on ordinary days become devastating and impossible situations during the holidays.   This month we are learning that to experience the fullness of this season, we need to travel light and that means letting go of the bitterness that comes with broken and difficult relationships. 

Jesus came to be the prince of peace but that doesn’t primarily mean the prince of peace among nations or political parties- although we need that kind of peace right now - it means the prince of peace in our own hearts and lives, but peace can never be achieved if we aren’t willing to let go of the bitterness we hold toward others.  Hebrews 12:14-15.

The author of Hebrews tells us that bitterness is a dangerous root that can undermine everything in our lives.  Think about the roots of a plant, we can’t see them, but they are there and they are growing.  Many times bitterness is not something we see, but left unchecked it will grow and strengthen and in time undermine everything in our lives. 

Bitterness comes when we are offended in some way and then hold on to the offense, and it can start in very small ways.  We text someone and they don’t reply quickly so we get offended, and with every hour that goes by we get more angry and more bitter.  Or we sent an email to a coworker and they never responded to it.  Their lack of a response holds up our work, makes us look foolish, and we tell ourselves we are not going to forget it.  We can be offended by the tone of someone’s voice, when we hear sarcasm or indifference, or worse yet, maybe we don’t hear anything at all.  Are they ignoring me?  I’m so offended!

Bitterness can start as a small offense, maybe even an imagined or misinterpreted word, but the offense is there and we hold on to it and just like a root underground, the anger grows.  We may not even be aware that the bitterness is there, which can be dangerous because if we don’t acknowledge the problem we can’t work to overcome it, so it simply grows and spreads.   Left unchecked, bitterness can undermine our hearts and all our relationships. 

Certainly not all offenses are small.  There are often very painful situations that we face and painful words and actions that scar our lives.  Even in these difficult situations, if we simply allow the bitterness to grow it will be that dangerous root that will undermine everything else in our lives.  While at times it seems impossible to think about forgiving those who have offended us, if we don’t, the destruction is often only experienced in our lives.  Most of the time, holding on to bitterness and anger does nothing in the life of the one who has offended us, but it destroys us.  Someone said that holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison and thinking that the other person is going to die.  They don’t, but we do. 

I had a roommate in college that never paid his fair share of the expenses in our apartment and instead of talking to him about it, I just allowed the offense to grow.  I got bitter and angry and tried to show it to him and thought, he has to feel bad about all of this.  He never even noticed.  I was destroying myself and he didn’t even notice.  That is often how bitterness and unforgiveness works, it only destroys us, we have to let it go. 

Bitterness is not only a dangerous root in our lives, it grows into a poisonous fruit.  Hebrews 12:15, grows up to cause trouble.  As we hold on to bitterness, the poison begins to impact our thoughts, our attitudes, and our assumptions about ourselves and others, and then it impacts our words, and actions, and every one of our relationships.  We become impatient and unkind with people, not just those who have offended us, but everyone.  Bitterness can lead us to making decisions that are not in our best interest, or in God’s greater plan, and if left unchecked, the consequences of this poisonous fruit can be devastating. 

In the Christmas story we see how bitterness began to grow and almost caused one person to miss the opportunity of a lifetime.  Joseph had his life all set.  He was a faithful man, engaged to a wonderful faithful woman named Mary, and life was good.  And then one day Mary told him that God had visited her and said she was going to be the mother of the Messiah.  IN fact, she said, she was already pregnant by the work of the Holy Spirit, and the child she carried was God’s son, the Messiah.  Matthew 1:18-19.

Mary being pregnant before they were married was an offense to Joseph.  Mary getting this news before Joseph heard anything from God may have offended him as well.  How could they possibly continue on in their relationship?  How could they get married now?  How could Joseph ever trust Mary again?  The relationship was strained to say the least.  While Joseph was honorable and didn’t want to publicly shame Mary, he also didn’t want to continue in the relationship - so he planned to dismiss her quietly.  Cast her aside and move on.  That is one way to deal with bitterness, but this doesn’t root out the problem.  The bitterness and disappointment would have remained hidden in Joseph’s life like an underground root poisoning every other relationship in his life. 

What happens to Joseph shows us how God wants us to root out and destroy bitterness in our lives.  What we see here is the appropriate way of letting go of bitterness.  Matthew 1:20-25.  Joseph is told to overcome his bitterness with compassion - don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife.  Don’t give in to the offense you feel Joseph, and don’t walk away - instead walk toward Mary.  Walk with Mary.

In Ephesians 4:31-32 it says, Get rid of all bitterness… Be kind and compassionate to one another.  Forgive one another as in Christ, God has forgiven you.  Forgiveness is how to root out bitterness.  Forgiveness isn’t walking away in anger or disappointment, it often means walking toward the person who has hurt or offended us to seek ways to work through the problems and resolve our differences and misunderstandings.  Forgiveness means walking with the person and working for lasting peace and reconciliation.  Forgiveness isn’t walking away and ignoring the situation, which is what Joseph wanted to do, it is confronting it, releasing any offense we may feel, and allowing God to heal and restore the relationship if possible.  For Joseph and Mary it meant becoming husband and wife and creating a family to raise up the son of God. 

In Joseph we see how to root out bitterness and overcome the poisonous fruit of anger and frustration.  We choose kindness.  We choose to forgive and release the offense of others.  The pastor and author Andy Stanley talks about choosing to fill the gaps that we often find in relationships with trust and not suspicion.  If a text goes unanswered, an email isn’t replied to right away, someone seems distant and unresponsive to us, or someone has offended or let us down - a gap in a relationship is created.  No matter what the gap is, we choose how to interpret the actions that have created it and what fills the gap.  Andy Stanley says, We choose what we place in those gaps.  Our choices determine the integrity of the relationships.  We can choose to fill them with trust or suspicion. 

Suspicion leads to feeling offended.  Being offended leads to bitterness.  Choosing to trust the other person, however, can lead us to compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and a restoration of relationships.  At first Joseph was offended and suspicious, but God leads him to a place of forgiveness and trust, and that restored relationship with Mary allowed Joseph to experience the power of Jesus in his life. 

To experience the power of Jesus in our lives, we have to learn how to let go of bitterness and choose to trust others when we can, but to trust God always.  Sometimes letting go of an offense and forgiving someone who harms us just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do, in those moments can we choose to trust God who not only tells us to forgive but to actually bless those who have offended us.  Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  Luke 6:27-28

Joseph would have missed out on the gift of Jesus in his life if he had held on to the bitterness he felt when Mary told him about her pregnancy.  He would never have had the blessing of seeing the birth of the Messiah, hearing the message of the angels, or knowing that he was part of God’s plan of salvation for all the world.  He would have missed out on so much if he had allowed himself to continue to be offended and allowed the root of bitterness to grow and poison his life. 

We will miss out on the gift of grace and peace that God has for us and we will miss out on the life that God has for us if we hold on to the offenses we feel and allow the root of bitterness to grow in our lives.  To truly experience the gift of Jesus in this season, and all through our lives, we need to let go of bitterness and disappointment.  We need to choose
trust over suspicion, 
forgiveness over offense, 
compassion over bitterness. 



Next Steps
Travel Light - Letting Go of Bitterness

Questions for Reflection
● What offense and bitterness do I need to let go?
● Where can I choose compassion as a response to others this week?

1. Read the story of Joseph in Matthew 1:18-25.
● What offense did Joseph want to hold on to? 
● How would that bitterness have affected his life? 
● How did Joseph choose compassion?

2. Where has bitterness become a dangerous root in your life?  What offense caused this bitterness?  How is it producing poisonous fruit?

3. What gaps are there currently in your relationships
● At home?
● At work?

4. How can you choose to fill this relational gap with trust and not suspicion?

5. Who is it that you need to forgive?  Take one step toward forgiveness this week.

5. Compassion in any form can help keep bitter roots from growing or forming. 
● Look for one act of compassion this week and do it. 
● Commit to an act of compassion during the Christmas Season that can help make a difference in someone’s life. 
● Pray for eyes to see and a heart to act when compassion is needed. 

Travel Light - Letting Go Of Stuff

How do you pack when you go on vacation?  

Are you someone who tries to take it all?  

 A couple of years ago I flew to SC for a week to visit my parents and when I got off the plane with my bag, my Dad asked, is that all you brought for a week?  I said, yup - you do have a washer and dryer right?  I took about three days’ worth of clothes and figured I would just wash what I brought so I didn’t have to carry a lot with me.  

There are two kinds of travelers, those who travel light, and those who take everything with them.  I used to take everything with me on vacation, everything I thought I might possibly need for every conceivable situation, and then I realized that I never wore or used half of what I took.  I now lay out everything I am going to take on a trip and then remove half of it and take what is left.

Traveling light is not just for trips and vacations, however, it is how we need to travel through life.  Too many of us are weighed down by all that we have accumulated.  We have too much stuff, too many distractions, too much bitterness and hurt and pain, and too many things we try to control to really enjoy life.  All that we seek to hold on to in life is literally weighing us down and keeping us from experiencing more joy, more peace, more adventure, and more faith and trust in God.  As we move through this Advent season and prepare ourselves for the celebration of Jesus' birth, we are going to talk about how to start travelling light.

When I was in college, I wanted to be able to place all my belongings in my car, and my car was a two door Volkswagen Fox.

For a while I was able to do this, mostly because I didn’t own any furniture.  In 1990, I sold just about everything I had and packed up my little Fox and moved to CA.  That was the last time I was able to get all my stuff into my car.  Since then I have accumulated furniture, family heirlooms, 26 years of sermons, and two closets full of nativity scenes.  I also live alone and have 4 TV’s!

While we spend our lives trying to hold on to more and more, the author of Ecclesiastes says, Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.  While we often tell ourselves that less is more, and that we probably don’t need all the stuff we have accumulated, there is something inside of us that calls out for more.  If one tv is good, 2 is better, and 4 is ideal.  This drive for more stuff and the idea that more is better and that more will make us happy is ingrained in us, it is part of our culture, part of society, and probably even part of our DNA.  We can go back to Adam and Eve and see that what got them into trouble was a desire for more.

Think about their story.  Adam and Eve were placed in paradise and told that they could have it all.  Literally - it was all for them and yet they weren’t content with everything - they wanted more.  More is always better - they thought that.  We think that.  And that’s why we have more stuff than we can ever use, and why we are even paying people to store our stuff for us.

There is currently 2.3 billion square feet of storage space in America.  That is enough space for every man, woman, and child in the US to stand together.  Half of this space is storing what won’t fit in our homes, and 15% of all storage unit renters say they are storing what they don’t need and don’t want, and yet won’t let go of.  Our stuff is weighing us down.  We have larger homes than a generation ago, and yet we can’t fit what we own into our homes.  Our stuff has taken over, our two hands are full and with it comes the toil of taking care of it all.

This is what Jesus said about all our stuff, Watch out, be on guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.  Luke 12:15.  Wanting two handfuls of stuff is such a powerful force that Jesus had to warn us not once but twice.  Watch out.  Be on your guard.  Our stuff is dangerous because over time it robs us of the joy we can find in life when we are able to focus on God, and it erodes our faith as we trust more in our stuff than we do in God.  What we need to do is work to develop a one handful way of life.

The first thing we might need to do live a one handful life is to learn how to throw out what we don’t want and don’t need.  Some people say we need to think about downsizing as if our lives depended on it.  A few years ago I was thinking that when I die my nieces and nephews are not going to want any of my stuff.  What was I keeping for?  Why am I accumulating more?  And why is it so hard to give things away?

That’s the real question we might want to ask ourselves as we seek to travel light, why is it so hard to give things away?  Sometimes we hold on to things out of fear.  We are afraid that if we give something away, that is going to be the very moment we need it.  Sometimes we are afraid to let things go because they mean so much to us and we don’t want to forget those memories.  If what we have has come from a family member or friend, and we cherish them, we cherish what they have given us.  Our stuff reminds us of them and if we let it go, we are afraid we are letting go of them.  Sometimes it is a fear of losing something valuable, and therefore losing money, so we hold on to all we have with both hands.  After all, we were told in the 80’s and 90’s that those Beanie Babies were going to be valuable someday - we can’t let go of them now. 

Learning how to downsize and throw things away is not easy, but it can be helpful and freeing.  Giving clothes away that we will never wear so that others can wear them not only blesses others, it blesses us.  Giving things away to those in need can lift our own hearts and lives as well as lift up the lives of others.  Remember, it is Jesus who said it is more blessed to give than to receive.  So let’s give stuff away.

Letting go of things that might have sentimental meaning will also show us that the strong connection we have for our family and friends is not tied into things.  When the things are gone, the memories and relationships are still there.  What we learn is that love doesn’t go away when the stuff goes away.  Love endures and love remains.

Does this mean we need to give everything away - no.  It’s ok to hold on to some things.  Marie Kondo, in her book the life-changing magic of tidying up, talks about looking at our stuff and keeping those things that spark joy.  If it doesn’t bring joy, if it’s just sitting in a closet or storage unit and weighing us down, can we begin to let it go.

The second thing we need to learn how to do is buy less.  I know what you are thinking right now…. Too late.  Black Friday was two days ago and all my Christmas Shopping is done.  That’s ok.  I’m not talking about buying less just at Christmas (although now might be a great time to start), I’m talking about buying less all year.  Too many of us buy things because we think we need it, or worse, we think it will make us happy and our lives more fulfilled.  Too often we look to our stuff to do what God alone can do.  We need to shift our eyes from the world and put them back on God.

Can we say what the Psalmist said, Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.  Turn my eyes away from worthless things and preserve my life according to your word.  Psalm 119:36-37.  When our eyes and our hearts aren’t focused on the world around us, we begin to realize that much of what we think we need - we don’t.  And much of what we currently have - we can do without.

Throw out, buy less, and then finally we need to learn how to give more.  Last month, we talked about giving and how we experience a blessed life by giving, and we need to keep that perspective all through the year and all through life.  A lifestyle of giving doesn’t just focus on giving more money or more of our possessions, it also means giving more of our time, our faith, our love, and ourselves.  1 Timothy 6:17-19.

This is a command to all of us because all of us are rich.  If we can order a pizza from our phones, right now, we are rich.  Notice that what Paul says is that when we are rich in good deeds, when we are generous and willing to share what we have, then we begin to take hold of a life that is true life.  In other words, we start really living not by getting more and holding on to more stuff, but by giving it away, and giving ourselves away.

As we begin to let go of our stuff and live a one handful way of life, something wonderful begins to happen, we find that our other hand is now free to do some wonderful life changing things.
We are able to reach down and lift others up.  
We are able to reach out and welcome more people into our lives. 
And we are able to reach up to God with thanks and praise.   

One handful living allows our free hand to grab hold of the life God wants to offer us. As we learn how to travel light on our way to Christmas, can we commit to letting go of our stuff so we can grab hold of the gift that makes all the difference - Jesus?


Next Steps

Travel Light - Letting Go Of Stuff
As you light a candle at your home, or see the candles in your windows at night, reflect on these questions:
● How has holding on to all my stuff with two hands been keeping me from God?
● What do I need to throw out and give away this week?
● What is God asking me to do with my free hand?  Reach down to help?  Reach out to welcome?  Reach up in praise?

Steps we can take to travel light:
1. Throw Out:  Go through your basement, attic, and closets and throw out items that can both lighten your load and bless other people.  Donate to the Habitat Restore, Faith Centre, or Centre Peace.

 2. Buy Less. Buy fewer gifts and purchase gifts that will encourage spending time with one another.  (board games, coupons for family time together, calendars that include family time set aside each week and special times each month)

3. Give More.  Commit to giving in one new way this season.
● Give to a family in need.
● Give to a neighbor who lives alone.
● Give to someone in the church who needs a smile.
● Give time to Habitat for Humanity or Toys for Tots.
● Set aside money to give to our Christmas Eve Offering
● Give time in prayer for a person or family that needs to know the love of Jesus.
● Give an invitation to someone to join you in worship during Advent or on Christmas Eve.