BETTER Is One Day

 

Not long after I moved to PA, I was at a lunch meeting and the special at the restaurant was pot pie.  Growing up, I loved pot pie so I decided to get it.  When our meals came, they placed in front of me this large wide bowl filled with noodles, gravy and pieces of meat, but I didn’t start eating right away.  Someone asked me if everything was ok and I said, well I think they got my order wrong.  You see, I grew up in CT and in New England, pot pie is meat, vegetables and gravy in a nice little pie crust.  That’s what I thought I was getting, but what was in front me was a beige lumpy mess.  

Everyone laughed and said, Andy, this is real pot pie.  This is PA Dutch pot pie.  So I started eating.  For 30+ years I had eaten pot pie and it was always good, I liked it.  I liked the crust and gravy, but this pot pie was BETTER.  Real pot pie is BETTER.  PA Dutch pot pie is BETTER.  I still like those little pot pies that come with a crust, they're good, but real pot pie with noodles, meat, potatoes and gravy, that lumpy looking mess is BETTER.

Too often in life we settle for what is good because we don’t know there's anything better, or we don’t step out and try it.  For over 30 years I didn’t know about real pot pie and when they gave it to me I could have said no thanks, send me a burger, but I tried it and found something better.  

Today we are starting a series where we will be looking at different passages in the Bible that show us how to live a better life.  God tells us how to experience what is better, but we have to be willing to let go of what we know is good.  Last week we heard that when God calls us into the future He has for us, it requires us to leave something behind.  Often what we leave behind is good but what God has for us, the life God has for us, is always better.  

For the next four weeks we are going to look at scriptures that contain the word better, and I hope you will take some time to memorize them.  They aren’t long, and learning them can help reshape what we think is good and help us see the better way God has for us.  Our first verse comes from Psalm 84

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.  Psalm 84:10

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.  The psalmist isn’t talking about living in the Temple courts, or in a church building, the courts of the Lord and the house of God is symbolic of living in the presence of God.  Better is one day living with the constant awareness that God is with us, than a thousand days lived anywhere else without God.  Better is one day with God than anything else, but do we really believe this?  

Too many people have the idea that living in the constant presence of God or walking with Jesus in life means never having any fun.  The picture that too many people have of Christians is that we are unhappy, judgmental, and gloomy people.  Why do they think that way?  What have we done to give them the impression that living with God is such a horrible life?  If that is all they see in us and if that is all they have experienced and heard from us about living in the courts of the Lord, then we can’t blame them for wanting to live anywhere else.  Who wants to live like that?  That isn’t a better life, but being unhappy, judgmental and gloomy is not what it means to live with God.  

Think about all we have and what we can experience when we live in the presence of God.  In the presence of God there is forgiveness.  Jesus took our sin to the cross and forever destroyed the power of sin so that we aren’t separated from God but can actually live in the presence of Almighty God.  With God there is forgiveness.  With God there is freedom from guilt and shame.  With God all the things that hold people back in life are wiped away.  We are forgiven.  We are loved.  We are children of God.  

Think about that, we are children of God.  This means we can be secure in knowing that the God who created the world knows us by name, loves us and calls us His own.  As God’s children, there is nothing that can separate us from God.  There is no height nor depth, no problem or pain, no fault or failure that can separate us from God because God’s love is victorious over all those things.  God’s love is always there which should fill our lives with unspeakable joy.  

With God there is forgiveness, there is love, there is joy, and with God there is power and peace and a sense of enduring purpose.  What changed my life when I began to experience the fullness of God was having a sense of divine and eternal purpose.  I wanted my life to mean something, I wanted my life to make a difference and I knew that simply living with God would not only change my life but could forever change the life of those around me.  You don’t have to be a full time pastor or missionary to change the world for God, you can do it right where you are, doing just what you are doing.  With God we can make an impact.  With God we have the power to transform the world.  With God there is a life of adventure and power just waiting for us and it is far beyond anything that the world can offer.   

Living in God’s presence every moment doesn’t mean that there won’t be problems, there will be.  Living in God’s presence doesn’t mean there won’t be disappointments and pain, there will be.  Living in God’s presence doesn’t mean things will be easy, it won’t be, but the world can’t offer a life without problems, pain, disappointments and discomfort either.  So we will go through these things either way, but with God we have a sure foundation to stand on.  With God we have strength in the storm, a rock to stand on.  

Jesus said that when we follow His word, when we live in the full presence of God, we are like a house built on a rock.  When the storms come, and they will come, when the destruction of hurricane force wind and rains come, and they will come, we will not be destroyed.  We might be shaken, but we will find strength to stand strong.  The Apostle Paul said, We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  2 Corinthians 4:8-9

This week we have seen the destructive power of a storm and even when we go through that physically, or if that is what we think our emotional or spiritual life looks like, we can find hope and strength and peace in the presence of God.  

Walking with Jesus isn’t a life of limitations but freedom, it’s not a killjoy but a source of joy, it’s not a life defined by problems and pain but the ongoing power and peace of God.  Living in the courts of the Lord really is better, so how can we begin to experience this better life?  Let me share two habits that can lead us into the presence of God and a better life.   

#1 Maintain constant communication with God.  

If we can stay in constant communication with God, we will experience God’s presence at all times.  Constant communication with God has to be possible because the Apostle Paul said,  Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, 

Pray continually.  Pray without ceasing.  Never ending prayer, praise, rejoicing, and giving thanks will lead us to the presence of God and a better life, but how do we do this?  Are we supposed to lock ourselves away and pray all day, every day?  Clearly that is not an option.  And I don’t think God is calling most people to join a convent or monastery where significant times of prayer and worship fill every day.  

What we have to do is figure out how to communicate with God on a consistent basis all through the day.  One way we can do this is to simply reach out to God in short bursts of prayer all day long.  Watching the weather this week I often said, God watch over those in need.  When our church members in Florida came to my mind I prayed for them.  Praying for people doesn’t have to be long articulate messages filled with holy sounding words.  It’s ok to just say, God watch over them.  God take care of them.  God help them.  

I remember when prayer started to change for me.  I was a freshman in college and as part of a small group Bible study we had prayer partners.  Dave was my first prayer partner and he came over to my room during the week and we sat and talked for a while and then he said, let’s pray.  I said, you mean now?  He said, sure.  But I didn’t have anything written out.  I didn’t know how to put all we had just talked about into a prayer.  He said, it’s ok, just talk to God.  That was the first time I ever just “talked to God.”  I’ll be honest, it felt kind of awkward, especially when it was my turn to talk to God out loud, but what started that day was a life of prayer and learning how to be in constant communication with God.  

Another practice that helped my prayer life was when I took a month to pray for an hour every day.  I literally shut my door and told myself I was going to pray for an hour.  So I started and prayed for our fellowship at school, all my family and friends, the campus, all the issues in the world and for God’s name to be lifted up.  I prayed for it all and then looked at my watch, it had been 5 minutes.  I still had 55 minutes left to pray.  So I did it all over again and then I had 50 minutes left.  Then I just sat there in silence and started talking to God about how I was going to do this.  I heard God tell me to listen, I heard God tell me to get a map and pray for countries.  I heard God tell me to just think and dream and lift my thoughts to him.  I learned during those long hours how I could just lift my thoughts to God and be in connection with Him.  I then learned I could do this without sitting alone in my room.

We can train ourselves to pray without ceasing.  Send your thoughts to God.  Talk to God. Have set times of prayer, set times to praise, set times to give thanks.  Keep a prayer journal.  Pray as you drive to work - just keep your eyes open.  Pray during the news.  When someone comes to mind, pray for them.  Pray with others.  Pray out loud.  Praying continuously is possible because prayer is more a lifestyle than an activity.  It is our breath and heartbeat.  

#2 Practice instant obedience to God.  

Another habit to help us live in the house of the Lord is to learn how to instantly obey God when He moves in us or speaks to us.  Sometimes this comes after reading God’s word and we are challenged with an idea or teaching.  Sometimes instant obedience comes when we feel the need to do something.  We have all been blessed by someone who reached out to us with a note or phone call or visit because they felt God calling them to reach out.  Sometimes those visits are God ordained and happen at the right moment to change our lives.  Instant obedience to God can help us experience the power and the joy and the adventure of God every day.  

It’s important to make sure that our instant obedience to God comes after we have learned how to have constant communication with God.  It’s that constant communication that allows God to speak to us and tell us what He wants us to do or where He wants us to go, but once God speaks we have to be willing to obey.  

I am always moved by the third verse of the hymn trust and obey.  We never can prove the delights of God’s love until ALL on the altar we lay.  For the favor He shows for the love He bestoys are for them who will trust and obey.  We think of obedience as a burden that can only lead to unhappiness and pain, and we think that obedience to God will certainly kill any fun we might have, but obedience to God leads to joy.  Obedience to God leads to that better life.  

Constant communication and instant obedience help us experience life in the presence of God and one day of that life  is better than a thousand days lived anywhere else.  The more we live in the courts of the Lord, the more we will want to live there.  The more of God’s presence we experience the more of God’s presence we will want.  A better life with God leads us to desire a better life with God.  Psalm 84, it begins like this, 

How lovely is your dwelling place, Lord Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,  

and the swallow a nest for herself, 

she may have her young— a place near your altar,

Lord Almighty, my King and my God.  

Blessed are those who dwell in your house, 

they are ever praising you.

This kind of longing doesn’t come from a casual commitment to God, it comes from constant communication and instant obedience.  The closer we walk with God, the closer we will want to walk with God.  The more joy and peace we find with Jesus, the more joy and peace we will want to find with Jesus.  The more purpose and meaning we find living in God’s presence, the more purpose and meaning we will want to find in God’s presence.  The better life of living in the courts of the Lord develops a deep desire and even desperation for this better life.  

The psalmist has experienced this better life and now all he longs for is the better life found in the courts of the Lord.  It is so good that he can say with boldness, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.  Can you say that?  Will you say that with me: 

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

 

Next Steps

Better is One Day

Memorize this week’s “better” verse:

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; 

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.  Psalm 84:10

How does knowing you are a child of God make life better?  Life with God can lead to the following experiences:  Forgiveness, Freedom, Hope. Joy, Love, Peace, Purpose,

● Which of these mean the most to you?  

● What else does it mean for you to be a child of God?

● How can you focus on them more each day?  

Develop the following habits to live in the courts of the Lord.

#1. Constant Communication with God.

● Read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

● Is this type of prayer life possible?  

● What new prayer practices can you start this week?

● What challenges you the most about prayer?

#2. Instant Obedience to God.

● Have you ever acted with instant obedience to what you believed was God’s will?  What was the outcome?

● What has God been calling you to do recently that you have been putting off?  What would instant obedience look like this week? 

Read a Psalm a day to develop a heart desperate for God and to learn more about this better life.

● Monday: Psalm 42

● Tuesday: Psalm 46 

● Wednesday: Psalm 62 

● Thursday: Psalm 63 

● Friday: Psalm 121

● Saturday: Psalm 139

You Can't Control Your Future

 

After spending many years being kind of aimless with my life and future, my parents were very happy when I finally decided to enter ministry and become a local pastor.  My Dad questioned why I chose the UMC. You see, as UM pastors, we are appointed by the Bishop year by year.  Our future is in their hands.  While we get some say in where we want to go, we really place our future in the hands of God through the Bishop and my dad questioned if I really wanted to give that much control of my life to others.  I thought about it and then asked him if I had made good choices for my own life?  I had gone through half a dozen majors in college, dropped out of school for almost a year, traveled across the country after graduation and then worked at a movie theater for three years trying to figure out what I wanted to do.  I hadn’t done a good job planning my own life when I was in control so I thought maybe someone else could do it better.  My Dad couldn’t argue with me.  

As much as we might try and plan our lives, the reality we all have to face is that we cannot control the future.  We can plan for the days ahead.  We can set our feet on a certain path and start moving in that direction, but we cannot control the future.  My goal in college was to work in Christian TV.  As much as I prepared for that future, I had no control over the Jim and Tammy Faye Baker scandal that hit the year I graduated and devastated the entire Christian TV industry.  We can plan for the future, we can pray about the future, but we cannot control the future.  

Maybe you have heard the expression, if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. God doesn’t delight in changing our plans.  God is not some cosmic joker who finds pleasure by automatically changing all that we have laid out, but I’m sure God does chuckle when He hears us say that we can control our future. We don’t have what it takes to control the future. 

There is no crystal ball that can show us exactly what the future holds for us and while all our plans may be well thought out and even prayed over, it doesn’t mean they will come about.  In fact, there is only One who knows the future and that is God, so instead of trying to control the future, we need to allow God to lead us into the future He has for us and God’s leading always starts at the same place.  It starts with leaving something behind.  

The first person called by God was a man named Abram.  Abram was living in Haran when God called him.  Genesis 12:1-4

The Lord had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you;

I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. 

God had an amazing future for Abram.  God was going to give him a large family and make him into a great nation that would bless the entire world.  God’s future was going to be great for Abram, but to get there Abram had to leave where he was. He had to leave Harran.  He had to leave the comfort and security of his home and family.  He had to give up control over his own future and trust God for something completely unknown.  In fact, God wasn’t even going to tell Abram where he was going, Abram had to go by faith.  

If we want to step into the future God has for us, we also have to be willing to leave something behind. Often this means letting go of our need to control our future.  For people who like to control things, like me, that’s not easy.  We think we know what is best for ourselves and our family so we make our own plans and then ask God to bless them.  But God’s blessing comes when we leave that thinking behind and step out in faith.  Now this doesn’t mean we don’t plan and pray and even think strategically and use our wisdom and judgment about the future.  Those are all good things we need to do, but we also need to humble ourselves before God and ask Him to direct our steps.  We need to submit our lives and our will and our future to Him.  

When I became a pastor, I had to trust my future to a Bishop and cabinet I didn’t know.  I didn’t know anyone in the Annual Conference, but I knew God and I trusted God to lead me.  When I was in charge of my future, I made a mess of it, when I trusted God, He was faithful.  My first church in Altoona was a wonderful experience and I was blessed to be there.  It wasn’t easy when I asked to leave because I had to leave behind people I loved and a church that was doing great work, but I knew that I had to go where God was leading.  

Seven years later I was asked to leave Lewisburg and I really didn’t want to go.  I fought to be in control of my life and stay right where I was.  I liked my life, my friends, the church I was serving and all that we had going on.  We had so much more to do and I wanted to stay.  While I really wanted to be in control and stay, I asked God to show me the way and God led me to Matthew 5:4 The Message

You're blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.,

 The instant I read this I knew I was being called to leave. I had to leave behind what was most dear to me to be faithful to the One who is most dear to me.  I had to leave behind all my thoughts of what was right for me and what I wanted, and trust that God would lead me into the future He had for me.  I had to trust that it would be a better future.  So I left.  It was painful and difficult, but I left and stepped into the vast unknown of Bellefonte.  God had more in store for me than I could possibly have imagined. 

Stepping into the future God has for us always requires us to leave something behind.  Abram had to leave his home in Harran.  The Israelites had to leave Egypt for the Promised Land.  They didn’t know how they would get there or how things would work along the way, but they left.  The disciples were fishermen with a good business when Jesus asked them to leave it all behind and step into the future God had for them. Jesus said they would now fish for people but let’s be honest, that didn’t give them a lot of information. They were stepping into the unknown. 

Trusting God for the future really does mean leaving something behind.  It might be our plans, it might be our dreams, it might be our comfort and security, it might literally be a home and job, but there is always something that God calls us to leave behind and letting go and trusting God for our future is never easy.  

#1.  We want to live by sight and not by faith.  As long as we are in control, we know what the plan is.  We know what the path looks like, we can see it, and we can work to control it. If we allow God to lead us, we have to let go of that sight and live by faith.  Abram had to live by faith.  He didn’t know the land where God was leading him.  There was no map and God didn't even give him the name of the place he was going.  The Israelites had to live by faith because they had never seen the promised land and all it held for them.  The disciples had to live by faith and trust that life with Jesus would be better and more fulfilling than the life they were living as fisherman. They had to live by faith and not by sight.  

2 Corinthians 5:7. For we live by faith, not by sight.  While this might be what we want to say and how we want to live, many of us are still living by sight and we are missing out on the future God has for us and the blessings of that future.   

#2. We are afraid of failure.  What often keeps us from moving forward with God is a fear of failure.  As long as we are in control, we can manage the risk and keep ourselves from failing, or at least from failing in a big way.  We would rather live with the disappointments and limitations of life as we know it than risk leaving that comfort and security for a life with God.

What is one thing you would do today if you knew you couldn’t fail?  I love this question.  It gets me thinking about how my fear is holding me back.  What would I do, what would I attempt to do, if I knew I wouldn't fail?  Honestly, the possibilities are endless, which means that every day I am limiting what God wants to do through me.  Fear of failure ties us to what we know, what we are secure in, what we can see with our own eyes, but God has so much more for us if we would just trust Him.

#3. We don’t trust God.  What it really boils down to is that we don’t fully trust God.  We don’t trust God to love us enough to provide for our future.  We don’t trust God to be strong enough to help us in the future.  We don’t trust God to be for us and to be there for us as we step into the unknown.  We just don’t trust God enough to leave behind what we know, what we can see, and all that we have planned.  Instead of trusting God for our future and leaving everything behind for everything God has for us, we spend our time worrying and yet Jesus gave us this powerful picture of why we shouldn’t worry.  Matthew 6:25-33

Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Our fear of failure, our inability to live by faith, and our lack of trust in God keeps us trying to control our own future but we don’t have what it takes to control our future and God has more for our future than we can imagine if we will trust Him. 

When we are willing to step out in faith and trust God, God will bless us.  When God called Abram to leave his home, the comfort and security of his family, and his own plans for his future, God also gave him these promises.  Genesis 12:2-3

I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you;

I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.

God promised to make Abram into a great nation.  This actually was the promise of a son to Abram and Sarai who up until now had not had any children.  Children were a sign of God’s blessing and here was God saying that He was not only going to give Abram a son but many sons, so many sons that their offspring would be more numerous than the stars in the sky.  From Abram and his family would come a great nation. 

God also promised that Abram’s family would be blessed.  They not only were going to be numerous, they were going to be prosperous and well cared for.  God was going to give them all they needed and then some.  God was promising to bless them in every way needed and then the third promise was that God was going to bless the world through them.  Three powerful blessings all awaited Abram, but he had to be willing to leave.    

When God calls us to leave, it is always with a promise of a blessing.  It might not be a financial blessing, it might not be earthly prosperity and a future without struggles, burdens, or pain, but it will be a future blessed with the presence, power and peace of God.  

At the end of Jesus' earthly life He told His disciples to go into all the earth.  Leave Jerusalem, he said.  Leave the comfort of your home and your friends and leave the security of the life you now have and go make disciples.  A call to go but then a promise - I will be with you.   

Every time I left my plans behind and trusted God for the future, I found that God was already there and God was at work.  When I have been willing to live by faith and not by sight, when I have been willing to trust God to know what was best for me and how to provide for me, I have found the power of God already at work and the blessing of God ready to be poured into me.  

We don’t have what it takes to control the future and when we try, when we make all our plans and then ask God to bless them, God laughs.  Or maybe God cries.  Either way, God is trying to tell us that we don’t have what it takes to control the future, but He does.  God knows the plans He has for us.   Jeremiah 29:11.

I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future.    

Do you know when God said this to His people?  It wasn’t while they were sitting in comfort and ease in the promised land.  In fact, the people had been defeated by Babylon and driven out of their homes.  They were living in captivity.  They were living in a foreign land.  They were oppressed and being controlled by foreign powers, and they didn’t think they would ever see their homeland again.  For two generations they had no hope of a future, but then God said, I know the future I have for you.  Will you trust me?  Will you worship me with all your heart?  Will you seek me with all your life?  Jesus said, seek first the kingdom of God and then all these things, all the things you long for in the future, all the things God has for you in the future, will be yours.  

We don’t have what it takes to control our future.  We can’t find our future in a crystal ball or in our best laid plans.  But God has a good future in store for us.  God knows the plans He has for us and they are good plans, prosperous plans, blessed plans.  To step into God’s future we have to be willing to leave behind our need to be in control and our need to see everything before we move forward.  We don't have what it takes to control the future, but our future is secure and blessed in the hands of God. 

Next Steps

You can’t control your future

What part of your future do you try the hardest to control?

When have you had to walk by faith and not by sight?

Read Genesis 12:1-9

● What did Abram have to leave behind?

● What promises did God make to Abram if he left?

Reflect on other times God called people to leave things behind to walk into a new future.  

● Moses and the Israelites

● The disciples

● The followers of Jesus in the book of Acts

Were things always easy for them when they walked by faith?

3 things that can cause us to try and control our future:

● A desire to walk by sight and not by faith

● Fear of failure

● Fear of fully trusting God

Which of these three do you struggle with the most?  Why?

How would you answer this question:  What is one thing you would do today if you knew you couldn’t fail?

What fears does this reveal in your life?  How are these fears limiting you?  

When we don’t trust God, we worry. Read Matthew 6:25-33.  

● What things are you most worried about today?  

● How can you place these things and your future in God’s hands?

Memorize Jeremiah 29:11

“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

You Can't Handle It All

 

When I was growing up there were variety shows on TV like Ed Sullivan who showcased all kinds of talent.  I used to love to watch the plate spinners.  Do you remember them?  They would place a plate on a pole and start the plate spinning, and then add another, and another and another until the stage would be filled.  The person would have to watch each plate and each pole and run all around to keep them going.  I loved it.  Plate spinners and jugglers make it look so easy but if you have ever tried it, you know it’s not.

One of the hidden talents of our director or youth ministries, Jeff Pilger, is juggling so I asked Jeff if he would come and give us a demonstration.  He makes it look easy but Jeff, what if I tossed you another bag?  How about another one?  No matter how good a juggler you are, at some point you can’t handle one more.  

OK.  Let’s go back to three.  Anyone feel like this is your life?  You have a lot of things going on and it is taking everything you have to keep it going.  We have work and family and all the schedules for our kids (or grandkids).  We want our children to be well rounded and they are talented children who are good at so many things so get them involved in sports and music and dance and church and then have to schedule play dates and set aside time for homework.  

So here you are juggling multiple schedules for kids and keeping track of carpools and snack days for your children’s class or teams.  And this is on top of work and caring for parents and maintaining the house and caring for the yard and keeping up with your own hobbies and interests and let’s not forget church where there is worship, small groups, volunteering for the football dinners and 5th quarter as well as setting aside time for mission work, children’s ministry, and the rhythm workshops.  It’s all good and we want to do it all.  But here is the lie we keep telling ourselves - I can do it all.  I can handle it all.  

But you can’t.  You can’t do it all.  As good as Jeff is, he can’t handle it all.  

We are in these series which is very challenging because it is called, you don’t have what it takes, and we don’t like to be told that we aren’t good enough and that we can’t make people happy, and we don’t like to be told that we don’t can’t handle it all, because we honestly think we can.  We think we can do it all or maybe we think we have to do it all, so we juggle more and more without even noticing that everything around us is falling apart.

I am going to ask you 4 questions to see if you are trying to handle it all on your own.  If any one of these things pertains to you, then you might be trying to do too much.  I am going to tell you right now that you aren’t going to like hearing these questions because they will hit too close to home, at least they did for me, but we need to take an honest look at our lives and see if we need to make some changes so that we can find some rest and health and peace.  

Are you out of shape Physically?  If we don’t have the time to eat right, shop for the right foods, get out and walk, and care for ourselves physically then we could be too busy trying to do it all.

Are you out of sorts Emotionally?  Do you find yourself getting irritated easily at work or at home?  Do you feel like you could have a nervous breakdown if you only had time for it?  Are you holding all your emotions together but feel like the dam is going to burst soon?  It could be that you are trying to do it all when we weren’t made to do it all.

Are you out of touch Relationally?  When was the last time you had a date night with your spouse and heard what was going on in their heart and life?  When was the last time you had a family dinner and everyone got to share what they were doing and how things were going?  When was the last time you got together with some friends to share what is going on and offer one another support?  Trying to do it all means that we sacrifice relationships for activities and find ourselves out of touch. .

Are you out of order Spiritually?  What priority does God have in your heart, your life, and your schedule?  Are you reading God’s word, spending time in prayer, and making worship a priority so you can regroup and regain your footing each week?  Have you stopped going to a small group and allowing others to pray for you, support you, and encourage you?  Are you pouring your faith into others which always has to be part of a vital relationship with God?  Our spiritual wellbeing is often the first thing to go when we get too busy and yet this might be the one thing that can help us the most.

Are you feeling out of sorts, out of touch, out of order, out of shape?  If you are, chances are good that you are simply trying to do it all on your own and you can’t handle it all and we weren’t meant to.  I can say this with confidence because even Jesus could not handle it all.  

If you really think that you can handle everything and even add one more thing to your schedule and one more commitment to your life, I want you to consider this moment in the life of Jesus.  Jesus was at the beginning of His ministry and the first thing He became known for was healing people.  Jesus healed all kinds of people and word of His miracles spread all through Galilee.  

That evening after sunset the people brought to Jesus all the sick and demon possessed. The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases. He also drove out many demons, but he would not let the demons speak because they knew who he was.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!”

Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” So he traveled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.  Mark 1:32-39

Jesus was becoming a successful faith healer and miracle worker.  He was healing the sick, casting out demons and transforming people’s lives.  Jesus could have done this for the rest of His life and made a huge difference in the world, but He knew God was calling Him to tell others about the coming kingdom of God, so Jesus left the crowd and went to other towns.  Even Jesus didn’t try and do it all.  He didn’t try to be a full-time preacher and full time healer. If the Son of God knew He had limits and couldn’t handle everything, why do we think we can.  

Jesus didn’t try to do it all and he didn’t tweak His schedule and make small changes to try and fit it all in.  Jesus made some radical changes.  He said, let’s leave this place and go to other towns.  He breaks away from what He had been doing to do something new.  This is what many of us might need to do as well.  Small changes might not work, what might be needed is a complete reordering of our lives.  What reordering might be needed?  What changes can we make to help us find a better and healthier balance in life.  Here are 4 things we need to consider:

#1. Stop doing some things.  If we are trying to do it all, we need to stop.  Literally stop.  We need to stop doing some things so that we can find order and balance and wholeness and peace.  I know you are thinking, but I can’t stop doing these things.  There is no one else to do it.  Well, maybe there is but they haven’t been given the chance.  Stop doing some things.  

Psalm 46:10, Be still, and know that I am God.  The word still is the word raphah which means to slacken or to let drop. What things do we need to drop?  What things do we need to stop doing?  It’s hard to think about this because we want everyone to like us and if we stop volunteering at school or in the community, it might upset people.  We don’t want to disappoint people, we don’t want people to look down on us, but we also can’t keep going at the pace we are, so what can we drop.  This will be different for all of us, but we have to ask ourselves what can I stop, what can I say “no” to.  

Some things need to be dropped.  Some things need to be stopped.  I don’t know what needs to be stopped in your life so that you and your family have some breathing room.  I don’t know what needs to be stopped so you can get in touch with one another, reorder your lives and get emotionally grounded once again.  It’s different for all of us but something needs to be stopped.

#2. Share some things.  If we find ourselves trying to do it all and can’t stop something, maybe we can share some of what we are doing with others.  Jesus did this.  Jesus said His mission was to go to other towns where He could preach and teach about the kingdom of God, but Jesus could not go everywhere so He shared His mission and sent His disciples.  

Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits.

They went out and preached that people should repent. They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.  Mark 6:6-7 & 12-13

Jesus couldn’t do it all, so He shared His mission.  The plan of Jesus was never to try and do it all but to send the Holy Spirit to His followers so that we could share in the mission and accomplish what Jesus alone could not do. This is an example we need to follow.  We need to share some things with others.  

This series and message has challenged me to look at my own life and schedule to see what changes need to be made.  One change for me is that I have chosen to share the leadership of our men’s bible study for the next year.  I finally got to the place where I heard God say, Andy you can’t do it all and you have many good men in this group who can lead and need to lead, so I am sharing the responsibility and joy of leadership and I am looking forward to learning from others as a participant.  

What things can you share?  Where can you ask for help and support as you share the burden and responsibility of leadership.  Not everything has to be stopped if you can share the burden and create time and space to rest.  We can’t do it all so some things need to be stopped and some things need to be shared.

#3. All things need to be surrendered.  The only way to know what needs to be stopped and what can be shared is to surrender everything to God.  Before Jesus announced to His disciples that He was going to leave and go to other towns to preach, He went off early in the morning to pray.  While we don’t know what Jesus prayed, I believe He was once again surrendering His life to God.

God, what do you want me to do with my limited days on earth?  Am I to just heal people?  Am I supposed to go from town to town and drive out evil spirits?  Did you send me to be a faith healer or do something different?  Can I do both?  Can I do it all?  Jesus surrendered it all to God and God gave Him the direction He needed.  God said, don’t try and do it all, do what I sent you to do.

If you are looking at your life and asking yourself, what should I stop?  Or if you are thinking, I can’t stop anything?  Or if you aren’t seeing anything you can share but are still feeling completely stressed out, then you aren’t fully surrendered to God.  As we surrender it all to God, God will show us what to stop and what to share.  God will give us the strength and power we need to do what He calls us to do.  We can’t do it all, but we can do all God has for us but only by the power of God’s Spirit.  

Some of us need to surrender this week.  We can’t keep going at the pace we are going.  We can’t keep destroying our own physical, emotional, and spiritual health and we can’t keep straining all our relationships.  It’s time to surrender and ask God for help.  We need to ask God to show us what to stop and what to share and we need to ask God for one more thing that won’t make any sense at all.  We need to ask God what things we need to start.

#4. Start some things.  I know.  It makes no sense for me to stand here and tell you that in your already busy lives you need to start some new things, but it might be that you need to start the right things to help you get your life back.  Maybe you need to start praying each morning.  Maybe you need to start reading God’s word each evening.  Maybe you need to start making sure worship is part of your ongoing routine so you can connect with the living God and be filled with the Holy Spirit.  

Maybe you need to start connecting with people in a spiritual way through a small group so you can hear that you aren’t alone and start learning from others and how to lean on others as you try and navigate the burdens and blessings of life.  Maybe you need to start a practice where one day a month you wipe the slate clean and spend time as a family so you can make sure your loved ones know that they really are the ones you love.  

When we say no to some things it allows us to say yes to God’s things, when we share what we can with others and surrender all things to God, we begin to find the balance we need for life and see the work of the Holy Spirit in us. 

None of us want to hear that we can’t handle it all.  None of us like to think that we can’t do it all.  But we can’t.  What has become normal in the world is for us to juggle 4, 5, 6 bags all at once and then try to take on more.  We can’t handle it all.  We can’t do it all.    Jesus couldn’t handle it all and He didn’t even try.  Jesus stopped some things, He shared some things, He surrendered everything and that allowed Him to start new things.  Surrender helped Jesus focus on God’s things.  Take all the bags you are trying to keep in the air and lay them at the feet of Jesus.  Ask Him, what can I stop, what can I share, and what do you want me and need me to start.  

You can’t do it all, so please stop trying and surrender it all to God and then do what God calls you to do and do it in the power that God will give you through the Holy Spirit.  

 

Next Steps

You Can’t Handle It All

Honestly evaluate your life with these 4 questions:

1. Are you out of shape physically?

2. Are you out of sorts emotionally?

3. Are you out of touch relationally?

4. Are you out of order spiritually?

How is doing too much leading to problems in these 4 areas?

Read Mark 1:29-34

Even Jesus didn’t try to do it all.

1. What did Jesus stop doing?

2. What did Jesus share? (see Mark 6:6-7 & 11-12)

3. How did Jesus surrender everything?

4. What did Jesus start doing?

Follow the example of Jesus.

Surrender everything to God.

● Lay your calendar and schedule before God.

● Ask God to be honored and glorified in all you do.

● Ask God to show you what needs to be changed.

What can you stop doing?

● Identify one thing God might want you to stop doing.

● What steps can you take to ease out of the commitment honorably?  

What can you share with others?

● Identify one area where you could share leadership and responsibility with someone else.

● Who might that person be?  

● Ask them for help.  

What do you need to start doing?

● Identify one thing God is asking you to start doing.

● Commit to doing it this week.

You Can't Please Everyone

 Last weekend I attended my nephew’s wedding and it was wonderful.  Here is a picture of Matt and Kayla and I think the weekend went exactly as they planned it.  I do not envy couples having to plan a wedding.  You have so many people that you have to think about: parents and grandparents, siblings and friends, who do we invite and who do we not invite.  Those are not easy decisions.  And then there are all the choices that they have to make: where do we get married, how long should the ceremony be, how long do we make people wait before the reception, what about the menu at the reception and people’s dietary restrictions, do we get what we like or what we think others will like.  What about flowers, music, dj, table favors, cake…

You want everyone to be happy at your wedding, you want everyone to like every detail, and yet the reality is that you know somewhere along the line someone will complain about something.  For example, who chooses to have glazed carrots at their wedding?  Sorry Matthew but really, glazed carrots?  Why not mixed vegetables or roasted cauliflower?  Why not fresh green beans or broccoli?  Of course, I’m kidding, the food was wonderful, but seriously, glazed carrots??

The truth we all know is that we can’t please all the people all the time.  We can please all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time but we can not please all the people all the time because some people just won’t like glazed carrots.  Pastors face this all the time.  We want everyone to be happy with the decisions that we make, but I quickly learned that you can’t please all the people all the time.  

Some people like the old hymns, some people like new hymns, and some people only want contemporary music.  For some people the sermons are too long, but believe it or not, some have even said that the sermons are too short and I should preach longer.  Or why don’t you preach on this topic or this book of the Bible.  Why don’t we sing more songs?  Why don’t we sing less songs?  The lights are too bright, the music is too loud, or too soft.  You get the idea.

We face issues like this everywhere.  Have you ever asked your family what they want for dinner and get 4 different answers.  You can’t please everyone.  Or in your circle of friends one person decides to do one thing but everyone else wants to do something else.  What do you do?  Whom do you please?  You can literally drive yourself crazy trying to please everyone and we know we can’t do it, but we keep trying anyway.  We keep trying to make everyone happy all the time.  Why?  Why do we suffer from this “disease to please”?  

One of the underlying reasons we try to please everyone is a fear of rejection.  If we don’t do what someone else wants, then they might not like us.  They may speak poorly of us and then others will reject us.  Fear of rejection can cause us to do things we would never normally do so that we can fit in.  No one likes to be rejected, no one likes to feel like a failure, so we work hard to please everyone.  

People pleasers also have a hard time saying no.  They don’t want to disappoint anyone, they don’t want to deal with the criticism of others, and they don’t want others to look down on them so they fill every moment of every day doing things for others and end up feeling bitter, resentful, and empty.  The disease to please can destroy us physically and emotionally but it can also destroy us spiritually.  

The more we try to please others, the less we think about trying to please God.  The more we live for the approval of others, the less we are able to fully live for God.  When we obsess over what other people think of us we fail to remember what God thinks of us.  We need to stop trying to please people and focus on living for God.  The Apostle Paul said, We are not trying to please people but God.  1 Thessalonians 2:4.  We need to start living for an “audience of One” and trust that when we focus on God first, everything else will fall into place.  

Again, the reason we often try to please other is that we are afraid of rejection.  We fear what people might say or think about us.  Proverbs 29:25 says, Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. 

The word “snare” is really the word for a noose that you would put around an animal to lead it around.  It is also the word for a hook that would be placed in the nose of an animal so that you could make the animal go where you wanted it to go. Think about it, if you had a large sharp hook in your nose and someone started to pull you in one direction, my bet is that you would quickly go.  And if they changed direction, so would you.  If they sped up, you would speed up too.  They would be in control.  

When we try to please everyone, we are literally allowing others to control of our lives.  We are letting others lead us around and take us to places we might not want to go.  Trying to please others leads us into three specific traps that we need to identify and overcome.

#1. I will compromise for you.  When we try to please people at work by laughing at their inappropriate jokes, we are compromising our values.  When we spend more money than we have to impress others or win their approval, we are compromising our financial future and creating an image of our lives that we can’t sustain.  In dating relationships, when we try to please others it often leads us to actions and behaviors that we might not be ready for or might not honor God.  At some point we will compromise what is important to us when we always try to please others.  

#2. I will overcommit for you.  Have you ever found your calendar so full of doing things for others that you fail to take care of yourself or your family?  I’ll be honest, this is hard for us to talk about as people of faith because part of what it means for us to follow Jesus is that we put the needs of others before our own.  We see the example of Jesus who sacrificed himself for others and we hear teachings like, consider others better than yourself.  

We honor service and sacrifice so why shouldn’t we fill our days with doing things for others at the expense of ourselves.  

The answer isn’t focusing our lives on one or the other, it is striving to find the right balance.  We don’t say no to everything, but we also can’t say yes to everything.  We need to ask ourselves, what does God want?  What are we most passionate about?  Where do we feel being called to serve and give?  Where do we need to step back so that others can serve and use their gifts?  If we overcommit and try to do everything, we will end up doing nothing well.  We simply can’t do it all and if we try, there will come a point when everything falls apart.  

Even Jesus said no at times.  Jesus didn’t heal every person who came to Him for help.  Jesus left a crowd of people who came to him to be healed so that he could go to other towns and preach the gospel.  I’m sure there were people unhappy with Jesus because they had traveled all night to see Him.  Jesus didn’t try to please everyone.  Instead, He prioritized His time and energy and did those things God called Him to do.  

You may have heard the expression that the enemy of what is great isn’t what’s bad, it’s what’s good.  Good is the enemy of great.  We can fill our lives with lots of good things for others and squeeze out the one great thing God is asking from us.  Doing more and more good works for others isn’t always the answer, doing the few right things, the truly great and important things of God, is what we need to strive for.  

#3 I will limit my faith for you. There is no way we can follow Jesus and have everyone like us because not everyone likes Jesus.  You don’t have to look too far to find people who don’t like Jesus and if we try to please them we will limit our own faithfulness and witness.  Jesus even said that a day is coming when, You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.  Matthew 10:22    

When we try to please everyone, we place limits on our faith and what God wants to do through us.  Trying to please everyone will also limit our own success and leadership.  You can’t be a leader and please everyone.  It just can’t be done.  Whether it is in business, school, sports, or our faith, when we try to please everyone, we limit our growth, our leadership, our faithfulness and our success.  

When we try to please everyone, we are literally being dragged by a hook to a place of compromise, a place where over commitment is destroying our lives, or a place where we limit our own growth, witness, leadership, and faithfulness.  We have to work at overcoming this disease to please.  

So what is the answer?  Let me say that the answer is NOT to harden our hearts and simply not care about the thoughts and feelings of others.  The best answer, the answer that can help us and free us and save us, is to Fear God.  I don’t mean being afraid of God as much as I mean living in complete awe and reverence of the Almighty God.  If we could see the true holiness of God, and if we could experience the lasting power of God’s love, we would be more concerned about what God thinks of us than what any person here and now thinks of us.  And if we fear God and seek to please God and live for God first, we will experience freedom, wholeness and blessing.  Psalm 34:9. Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. 

Those who fear God lack nothing.  When God becomes bigger in our lives the opinions of others become smaller and we are set free from a need to please everyone.  When we fear God over others, we are set free and begin to find that we have in God all we need in life.  The approval of others won’t matter to us as much as knowing that we are walking in the way of the Lord.  

I said earlier that pastors like to be liked and so we often work hard at pleasing people.  I really felt this way as a new pastor. I wanted everyone to like me.  Things were going well until some of the church leaders decided that we needed to make some changes to try and reach new people.  We added different songs, took out some of the older traditional elements of worship and added some new things.  Guess what, not everyone was happy.  The criticism was harsh and at times cruel.  Instead of talking about what we were doing, the attacks became personal.  It hurt to be rejected by a group in the church that I genuinely cared for.  It hurt to get hate mail and be asked to leave people’s homes.  It was hard.  

I struggled for a long time until a friend asked me what it meant for me to be a pastor.  Was it just to please the people in the church or to do what we could as a church to bring people to Jesus.  I started asking myself what it meant for me to truly fear God.  Once I got that straight in my heart, once I got to a place where I said to the church leaders, this is what it means for me to be a pastor and I because I fear God, I can’t compromise on this, or limit what God wants to do in me or through me, I found freedom. 

While it still wasn’t easy to get critical mail or know people were talking about me behind my back, I didn’t let that destroy me, I just kept looking to Jesus who always wasn’t always liked.  I feared God.  I lived in awe of God.  I made my focus living for an audience of One and found I had all that I needed and all that I wanted.  Things were NOT instantly set right, there were still difficult days, but with the help of others in the church, I made it through, and we saw the church grow.  Lives were changed, and I experienced some healing from the disease to please.  

Fear God first.  Live for God first and you will begin to experience freedom from the disease to please.  The strong desire to please others doesn’t instantly go away, but I do believe that as God gets bigger in our lives, our fear of others and what they think of us will get smaller.  It’s a journey, for many of us it is a lifelong journey, but it is a journey well worth taking because when we fear God and not people, we lack nothing.  

Now let me be clear that pleasing God first doesn’t mean doing more work for God.  God is not impressed when we fill up our schedules and run ourselves ragged doing things for Him.  Pleasing God has nothing to do with how busy we are.  

God is interested in our faith and trust in Him.  Are we trusting God to forgive us?  Have we accepted God’s love and what God has done for us in Jesus?  That alone can set us free from a need to please and finding all our approval and value in others.  

It’s important that we know that allowing God to be bigger in our lives doesn’t mean doing more and it doesn’t mean doing all the right things.  We are not loved by God or saved by Jesus because of what we do?  We are loved by God because of who God is and we are forgiven and saved by what Jesus did for us on the cross.  All God asks is that we have faith in Jesus and trust in His grace.  

If you have been trying to please God by doing more, please stop doing and simply be secure in knowing that God loves you and Christ has died for you.  Allow God’s grace and peace and power to touch your heart.  Allow God to change your attitudes and actions.  Feel the disease to please begin to fade as you grow confident and secure in God’s love and that start doing those things that truly please God.  Let God get bigger in your life.  

We can’t please everyone, but we can please God.  We can please God today and everyday by trusting in God’s love and allowing God’s power to work through us.  

 Next Steps

You Can’t Please Everyone

Spend some time reflecting on these questions.  Be honest! 

● In what ways are you a people pleaser?  

● Do you often find yourself overcommitted?  

● Why do you try to please all the people all the time?  

● When have you compromised your values or integrity in order to please others?

● When have you missed a great opportunity because you were too busy with good things?

Read: Proverbs 29:25, 1 Thessalonians 2:4, Psalm 34:9

What do we learn about the causes and remedies of always trying to please people?  

What does it mean to “fear” the Lord?  

Pastor Andy said:  When God becomes bigger in our lives the opinions of others become smaller.

● List a few ways you can make God bigger in your life?  

● What can you do this week to make God bigger?

For further reflection:

As followers of Jesus, we are called to put the needs of others before our own.  Ephesians 2:3-4, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  

How can we do this, live sacrificially, and yet not get caught in the trap of “people pleasing”?