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Last week we talked about the power there is in one small holy habit to change our lives for the good. The habit of praying three times a day, every day, helped Daniel remain close to God. That habit gave him the ability to interpret the dream of King Nebuchadnezzar, who then decreed to all the people that there was only one God and it was the God of Israel. The habit of prayer also gave Daniel the courage to trust God during a time of persecution and pain. By adding one small holy habit to our lives, we can find the power to change. It’s the spiritual what of our series.
In this series we have talked about the spiritual why of change. Why does God want us to change and why, deep down, do we want to change. We talked about the spiritual who of change. We do what we do because of who we think we are. But who does God say we are and how does that vision shape how we see ourselves? If we can change how we see ourselves and identify the ways God wants us to change, we can then find the holy habits, the spiritual what of change, that can help us transform our lives.
Today let’s talk about the spiritual what NOT of change. Based on who God says we are and who we want to be, what should we NOT be doing? What habit do we need to break? Is there one habit that we know isn’t good for us and is holding us back? Is there one habit that is keeping us from God, from the life God wants for us, from the relationships that are important to us, and the vision and mission God has for us? What is that one small thing we need to NOT do in order to transform our lives?
Most people don’t set out to ruin their lives. No one grows up hoping to file for bankruptcy because there is no other way out of debt. No one sets out to become addicted to alcohol, pornography, or prescription drugs. No one wants to find themselves in their third marriage because they are so critical and unforgiving of others that they can’t let go of the faults they see in those they love. We don’t set out to ruin our lives and it doesn’t happen all at once. It happens one bad decision, one wrong step, and one harmful habit at a time.
King David didn’t set out to kill one of his best and most faithful soldiers, Uriah. But the decision to have Uriah killed came after a decision David made to have an affair with Uriah’s wife. Now David didn’t set out to have an affair with Bathsheba. It wasn’t one of his life goals or part of God’s plan. David wanted to be a man after God’s own heart and he wanted to honor God in all his ways. David didn’t set out to have an affair, but he did after he made a bad decision by commanding Bathsheba to come to him.
That bad decision came because David had seen Bathsheba bathing when he went out for a walk on the roof of the palace. David didn’t set out to go watch Bathsheba take a bath, but he was home alone and there was no one around, so he went out for a walk. Now the reason David was home alone because he had made a bad decision.
In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. 2 Samuel 11:1
It was the time of year when kings went off to war, but David decided to stay home. He was going to remain where it was safe and comfortable and send his men out to fight for him. He was going to send out all the men, which meant he would have no one to spend time with, but it also meant that many of the women would be home and alone. That was the first bad decision.
David’s downfall wasn’t one bad decision, but one bad decision after another. He stayed home alone. He got up in the evening and walked around the roof of the palace. He saw Bathsheba taking a bath and instead of looking away or turning aside or going back inside, he sent for her. As series of bad decisions led to an affair, a pregnancy and finally the decision David made to have Uriah killed.
David shows us that our lives aren’t ruined by one bad decision or one wrong choice, we are brought down by bad habits and one bad choice after another after another. Bad habits are what often keep us from being the men and women God wants us to be and ruin our lives and relationships.
We see this in the news almost every day. No one sets out to ruin their lives through addictions, but the DUI led to the loss of a good reputation and job, maybe even the loss of a marriage and the death of a neighbor. No one sets out to destroy their marriage through inappropriate online relationships or lose their home and life savings to online gambling, but it happens when we are bored and lonely and jump online to find some comfort. One harmful habit and one bad decision at a time can destroy our lives, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There is power to change.
James, the brother of Jesus said, Get rid of every filthy habit and all wicked conduct. Submit to God and accept the word that he plants in your hearts, which is able to save you. James 1:21 GNT
God tells us to get rid of bad habit. He doesn’t say entertain the habit or justify it and tell yourself it’s not that bad. We aren’t to tell ourselves that we aren’t hurting anyone so it’s all ok, or that this is just the way we are and we are never going to change. It says we are to get rid of it. If God says, get rid of it, then God will give us the power to do it. If you hear nothing else today, hear this, you are stronger than unhealthy habits and God does give us the power to get rid of them.
The first step in getting rid of any unhealthy habit is to define it. You can’t defeat what you can’t define. If we can define the harmful habit, maybe even write it down where we can see it and confront it, then maybe we can begin to see that God is more powerful than this behavior. Once we define it, we can then submit it and ourselves before God. Maybe we need to ask for forgiveness and then the strength and power to overcome.
For many of us, the bad habit we might want to overcome has to do with our diet. We know our diets are filled with things that are not healthy for us and we want to give up the sweets and the carbs and the fast food, but we just haven’t been able to do it. If this is something that needs to change in your life, define it.
Maybe the bad habit isn’t our diet but our digital footprint. Maybe we know that we spend too much time online checking social media and surfing the web and playing mindless games, but we just can’t stop. I read this week that the average person spends 4 hours a day on their phone. I looked at the screen time setting on my phone and felt really good because it said my average was just over an hour a day, but then I remembered that when I’m home I often use my iPad to play games, watch videos, check news, weather, sports and social media. I went to see how much time I spent on my iPad and found the screen time setting wasn’t on. I turned it on so I can monitor how much time I spend looking at a screen.
If you aren’t sure your online activity is something that needs to change, consider this. If the average person spends 4 hours a day on their phone, that would be 1,460 hours a year, or 14,600 hours in 10 years. That would be like spending a solid year and a half, day and night, just staring at a screen. If you account for 8 hours of sleep each day, 14,600 hours would be the equivalent of spending more than 2 years staying at a screen. Is this a harmful habit that is undermining your faith or destroying your relationships?
Our diet or digital footprint might be the bad habit we wrestle with, but for some it might be a persistent bad attitude. If you have already thought of 10 things you haven’t liked about worship this morning, then you might have a critical spirit that keeps you from experiencing consistent joy or peace. Or gossip might be the habit you want to break. The Bible talks about the negative impact of gossip over 50 times. God says this is an important habit to break because gossip destroys the strength and health of the church.
What are the harmful habits that you want to break? What are the bad habits you have wrestled with and haven’t been able to overcome but you know God wants you to break so you can experience freedom and life? Once you have defined the habit, the next step is to turn away.
Solomon said, Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. Proverbs 4:14-15
Solomon doesn’t just say, don’t go down that road and don’t walk in the way of evil, he tells us to… Avoid it. Don’t go there. Turn away. Go another way.
In other words, run. Run away from evil. Run from bad habits. Turn away from those things that you know aren’t good for you and lead to unhealthy thoughts, words, and actions. James tells us to resist the devil and he will flee from us, but we have to first resist. Life would have been very different for King David if had run away that night on the palace roof. But it’s not easy to resist unhealthy habits that have become deeply rooted in our lives.
Studies have shown that there are 4 times when we are most susceptible to falling into bad habits and unhealthy patterns of behavior and it’s at these times that we need to stop and be careful. These times are when we are Hungry - Angry - Lonely - Tired
Notice what they spell. HALT. These are the times we need to halt, or stop, and be careful of what decisions we are making.
You know how they tell you not to go to the grocery store when you are hungry? It’s true. If you are hungry, you will buy all the food you want to eat and come home with bags full of comfort foods you love but might not be healthy. If you want to eat better, go to the store when you are full, have a list, and are focused on the right things.
When we are angry it’s easy to be critical of everyone around us and everything we see. When we are angry, or know that our patience is thin, we need to be careful of what we say and who we talk to so that we don’t end up saying things we will regret later on.
Loneliness is often what leads people to online relationships that are unhealthy and destructive. When people feel lonely in their marriage, hooking up with an old high school friend on facebook might seem harmless, but it might be a harmful habit to start.
In general, being tired means we are weak and vulnerable in all kinds of ways that can lead us to make decisions where there is a big payoff now but will lead to pain and disruption later on. Maybe King David was feeling tired, so he decided to stay home when his men went to war, and maybe he was feeling lonely so decided to take a walk. We have to be aware of these times when we might be more vulnerable to making bad decisions.
To overcome bad habits we need to define it, turn from it, and if needed interrupt the action. If we don’t want to spend 4 hours a day on our phones, we need to literally turn them off and put them away. My iPad is often by my bed at night which means I can easily grab it in the morning and spend time looking at news, sports, weather, social media, and email. Before I’m even out of bed or in God’s word, I have allowed the world to set the tone of my day. When I have worked to break this habit, I have put my iPad in the other room so I can’t easily get it.
If we want to start a new habit, we make it obvious and easy. If we want to break a bad habit, we have to make it difficult and uncomfortable. If you don’t want to eat ice cream at night or snack on chips before bed, don’t buy them. If you don’t want to hit the snooze button every morning, move your alarm to the other side of the room. If you don’t want to hit one click shopping on amazon, don’t let it hold your credit card number. Do what you need to do to interrupt the action.
As we talk about breaking bad habits, I do want to acknowledge that many people battle more than bad habits. Some people wrestle with strong addictions and what’s needed here is professional help and even rehabilitation. There is nothing weak about getting help when battling an addiction. It takes real courage and strength to face the habits and actions that work to destroy us and there is nothing better than finding support and power to get healthy.
If you are battling an addiction and want help, all of our pastors are here for you. Jeff Pilger, our children and youth director, also has experience in assisting people in getting the help they need. There are times when more direct intervention is needed to overcome addictions and help is here for you.
Whether it is a harmful habit or a real addiction, if you don’t like the direction your life is going, there is power to change. Jesus came because there are times we all head in the wrong direction and make bad choices. But forgiveness is real and change is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. God doesn’t give up on any of us just because we make a bad decision or have some harmful habits. God offers forgiveness and grace and the power to change.
God didn’t give up on David. After David acknowledged his wrong steps, God forgave him and helped him find new life. When we acknowledge our sin, define the hurtful habit, and ask for the strength to turn from evil and run toward God, there is power to change. This is how things ended with David. He wrote:
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:1-2, 10-12
May this be our prayer as we seek God’s power to change.
Next Steps
The Power to Change - Week 4
Do you like the direction your habits are taking you?
What are some of the habits you would like to change?
King David’s failure took place one bad decision and one wrong step at a time. Read 2 Samuel 11.
● Identify the bad decisions and wrong steps that led to King David’s sins.
● What could King David have differently at each wrong step he took?
Read James 1:21.
Steps to stop a bad habit:
1. Define it. Write down the bad habit you want to change so you can clearly see it. Confess it to God and be reminded that God’s power is greater than the habit.
2. Turn from it. Read Proverbs 4:14-15. Do all you can to turn and run from bad habits.
3. H.A.L.T. Know when you are hungry, angry, lonely and tired as these are the situations where we are vulnerable and often make poor decisions and fall back on bad habits.
4. Interrupt the Action. Make bad habits difficult and uncomfortable to continue.
Read Proverbs 13:20. Who is someone wise you can spend time with to help stop bad habits and start good ones?
Father, we know You give us the power to break the bad habits that hold us back. Please show us a bad habit You want us to break and give us the strength to make the needed changes in our lives. We ask for the power to change in the name of Jesus. Amen.
