Christmas is certainly a season of love. We celebrate the love of family and friends in all of our gatherings. We celebrate the people we love by giving them gifts. And we focus on the gift of God’s love given to us in Jesus. In fact, the reason we have Jesus is because God so loved the world that He gave us His son. To keep teaching and guiding His people, God could have given more of His law. He could have given more instruction and direction through His word, but instead God made the choice to give us the word made flesh. God loved so much that He wasn’t content to just give more instruction, God wanted to come and be one of us so that he could fully love us and know us and forgive us. This love of God the Father would not have been possible, however, without the simple choice another father made to love.
Joseph loved Mary. We don’t know how they met. Maybe it was an arranged marriage or maybe he saw her one day working in the village and just knew that she was the one for him, the girl of his dreams. What we do know is that Joseph loved her dearly and they were engaged to be married. They wanted to spend their lives together. Joseph had great hopes and plans and dreams, and then one day Mary came to him and said, Joseph, we need to talk.
Mary had just been visited by an angel that told her that she was now pregnant by the Spirit of God and the child to be born would be the Messiah. I can’t imagine what that conversation was like. How do you tell your soon to be husband that you are pregnant and yet you have remained faithful to him? How do you explain that the child you are carrying is the Son of God and a gift from the Holy Spirit? How do you possibly convince someone that you were visited by an angel who told you these things?
I also can’t imagine what Joseph must have been feeling. Betrayal. Disbelief. Disappointment. Anger. All the hopes and dreams he had are gone. What was he going to do? What should he do? The law said that women who had sex outside of marriage were to be stoned, but he loved Mary. He didn’t want to see that happen, but if he goes through with the marriage, people might talk, no, people would talk. His standing as a righteous and faithful man in the community would be ruined. What was he supposed to do? This is where we pick up the story in Matthew 1:18-19
This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
It was a gift of love that Joseph decided to divorce Mary quietly. He wasn’t going to publicly shame her. He wasn’t going to call for justice or judgment. He loved her, so decided to simply divorce her as quietly as possible. Yes, he would have to deal with gossip and Mary would be disgraced, but she would not be dead. We see in this first decision of Joseph a simple choice to love. Maybe it was because of this love and grace that the angel came to him with this message. Matthew 1:20-25
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
It was Joseph’s love for Mary that guided his decision to divorce her quietly. Maybe it was this simple choice to love that guided God to send the angel with a greater mission, and a greater blessing for Joseph. Take Mary as your wife and the child you raise will be the Messiah. It is now Joseph’s love for God and Mary that guides his decision. Joseph decided that from now on it wasn’t going to be about what he wanted, it wasn't going to be about his plans, his reputation, or his hopes and dreams, it was going to be about others.
When Joseph said, it’s not about me, he made a simple choice to love, a choice that allowed Christ to enter into our world. A simple choice to love. Not an easy choice, love is not always easy. Joseph had to set aside his doubts, his fears, and his pride, and he had to set aside his plans and dreams for the future, but he made this choice because he loved God and he loved Mary.
It is never easy to say that we are going to live for God first and then put the wellbeing of others before ourselves. Sacrificial living, sacrificial giving, and sacrificial loving are not easy choices, but in many ways they are simple. We simply do what Joseph did and say, it’s not about me. I don’t know if Joseph actually said these words, but we do know this is how he lived. What’s interesting to note is that we never hear Joseph speak.
After hearing from the angel and saying yes to God, Mary sang a song of praise. Her words were recorded, but Joseph was silent. He was silent when Mary told him what the angel said to her. He was silent when the angel came and spoke to him. He was silent when they made a long trip to Bethlehem and had to settle into a stable. He was silent when the shepherds arrived. He was silent when the Magi arrived. He was not passive - he took action and served God, and Mary, and his son (or God’s son), but he was silent. It’s as if Joseph was constantly saying, it’s not about me.
A simple choice to love basically says, it’s not about me. A simple choice to love is about making God’s plans our plans, and it’s about working for the wellbeing of others regardless of what it means for us. Love means caring for others first, last and always. This is what love does and we get a picture of what this love looks like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is what Joseph does. He always trusts God to accomplish His will. He always protects Mary and cares for their son. He always perseveres through the doubts and disappointments and long journeys they have to make. And He is not self-seeking, in fact he always says, it’s not about me. Time after time we see Joseph making the simple choice to love.
What simple choice to love is God asking us to make today. Maybe it is a choice to forgive someone who has hurt you. Maybe it is the simple choice to let go of a grudge that has been weighing down your heart and life and making you miserable. We often think that holding onto a grudge and not forgiving someone will somehow hurt them or make them feel bad, but most of the time it just hurts us. Not being willing to forgive others eats away at our hearts and it keeps us from fully loving others, so maybe it is time for us to make the choice and forgive. Choosing to forgive someone really is saying, it’s not about me. This kind of love is not easy. It means we may never get an apology or any kind of justice, but we do get freedom and a better life
A simple choice to love might mean giving someone the greatest gift we can, which isn’t anything we can get from amazon, but the gift of ourselves. It’s a gift of our service, and our time. Looking back on my life, one of the greatest gifts my mom ever gave me was her time. Week after week she would say, it’s not about me, and would use her time to take me to piano lessons and tuba lessons. She would take me to church activities and then come back and pick me up, and then wait for me to the last one out. My mom sat in the car for countless hours at band practices, band competitions, and even spent 2 days basically sitting in a car while I went to All State band. She constantly said, it’s not about me. Like Joseph, I never heard her say it, but I saw her live it in every choice she made.
What simple choice to love is God asking you to make? Is it to put your spouse first, your children first, or your parents first in some way? Is it to give your time to help someone who is lonely? Is it to serve a neighbor in need? Every day God gives us opportunities to say, it’s not about me, and reach out in love to someone else. Will we see that opportunity and make that choice?
For the past 7 years, on Christmas Eve, we have said as a church that it is not about us. Many churches and non-profit agencies make up all their financial shortfall in the last few weeks of December and for many churches, their Christmas Eve offering helps cover their expenses. That is not a bad thing, it is just the reality for many organizations. In 2015, we made a simple choice to say at Christmas, let’s not make it about ourselves but about God and others.
Each year we give away our entire Christmas Eve offering, and to date we have given away over $98,500. Money has gone to build homes in Bellefonte as well as to rebuild homes after a tsunami in Asia. We have helped to feed the hungry in Venezuela, Belize, and the Rohingya people who live in one of the largest refugee camps in the world. This year we are going to help feed those who are hungry here in Bellefonte and help make sure the FaithCentre Food Bank has the resources they need to buy food. I love that as a church we have made this simple choice to love. We have said, it’s not about us, it’s about God’s call to care for the poor and to put the needs of others before our own.
I want to invite you to give to our Christmas Offering this year. You can give on Christmas Eve at any of our 5 services. You can give online by choosing the Christmas Offering - Faith Centre / Food Bank option, or simply mark your envelope Christmas Offering. Any gift we make to this offering is a simple choice to love. It’s silently saying, it’s not about me.
Or maybe you need to make the simple choice to love and give your time to the Christmas Dinner. We still need help in the afternoon on Christmas Day so if you have some time to come in and help serve people in the dining room, or help out in the kitchen, you invite you to do that today. It’s just another way for us to say, it’s not about me. It’s another simple choice we can make to love.
Or maybe we need to say, it’s not about me, and reach out to help the churches and communities that were devastated by tornadoes in Kentucky. We have seen the destruction those massive storms created across the Midwest and we are collecting money to support the churches and the communities in those hard hit areas. We don’t often do two big appeals for money at the same time, but we have been called to make a simple choice to love and say one more time, it’s not about me. If you want to give in this way, we invite you to mark your offerings “disaster relief”.
Joseph stood silently and said, it’s not about me, and I have the feeling he didn’t just say that when Jesus was a child, he lived this way all his life because Jesus had to learn this from someone. Think about how many times Jesus said, it’s not about me. When he was tempted by Satan in the wilderness and told he could turn stones to bread and eat, or that he could have all the wealth, power, and glory of this world, Jesus said, it’s not about me.
At the beginning of His ministry, when crowds gathered around Him, Jesus could have had a lot of fame and glory, but He said, it’s not about me. When His own disciples wanted Jesus to do more and elevate Himself, He said, it’s not about me. When Jesus had the opportunity to defend Himself from false allegations in front of the religious leaders, Pontius Pilate, and Herod, He said, it’s not about me.
In fact, what’s really interesting is that in Matthew’s gospel, when Jesus is questioned by Pilate, it says that Jesus gave them no answer. He literally stood there silent. Just like His father Joseph. Jesus could have made it all about Himself. He could have spoken up and destroyed others, but He made the simple choice to love. It wasn’t about Him, it was about God’s plan of salvation, and forgiveness, and the redemption of the world.
Every day we have opportunities to say, it’s not about me and make the simple choice to love. We can love God when we worship Him and place Him first in our lives. We can love others when we forgive, and when we give all that is valuable to us. This week, look for a situation where you can say, it’s not about me. Then like Joseph, set aside your plans, your own wellbeing, and put God first, and put the needs of others before your own. This week, celebrate Christmas by making a simple choice to love.
Next Steps
A Simple Choice To Love
Read Matthew 1:18-25, 2:13-14
While we never hear Joseph speak, how do his actions convey the message, “it’s not about me.”
When have you seen someone convey this same message with their actions?
What do we learn about love from 1 Corinthians 13?
● Using your own words, describe what love is.
● How do we see this kind of love in God?
● How specifically do we see this kind of love in the life of Jesus?
● Which aspects of love are hardest for you to live out?
● When has this kind of love touched your heart and life?
What simple choices to love can you make this week?
● Who do you need to forgive?
● Where do you need to give your time?
● What can you give to those in need around you?
● What can you give to this year’s Christmas Eve Offering for the Faith Centre / Food Bank. (Give online or mark your envelope “Christmas Offering”).
How did Jesus live out the love He saw in His earthly father and His Heavenly Father? (See Matthew 27:11-14)
