In his book undistracted, Bob Goff talks about a friend he made while leading a small group at San Quentin prison. The man called Bob one day and said, “guess what? I’m on the other side of the wall!” Bob was hoping his release didn’t involve a bunch of bed sheets tied together. The man said no, he had just been unexpectedly released from prison. Bob was very happy for him and asked what his first thought was when stepped out the doors. Bob was thinking it would be something profound and life changing, but after a moment the man said, “I have pockets.”
This was not the deep theological response Bob was expecting, but then he realized it was a profound truth and in a moment of clarity Bob said to him, “be really careful what you put in them.” We all need to be really careful what we put into our pockets because if we put in the wrong things - we can end up in prison. And no, I am not talking about filling our pockets with money and possessions that don’t belong to us, I’m talking about emotions and behaviors that keep us locked up and living behind walls and bars. The kind of prison where we are kept from being able to experience the freedom and fullness God wants for us.
This month we have been talking about how to be set free from many things that can hold us back in life. Pastor David has done a great job talking about how bitterness, worry, and addictions are things that can hold us hostage and derail our lives and families, but they don’t have to. With faith and trust in God, we can overcome these things and be set free. Today we want to look at something that far too many of us are filling our pockets with - anger.
We live in an angry world. I’m not sure if there is more anger today than in the past, or if we are just hearing more about it because of social media and a 24 hour news cycle, but people are angry. From Buffalo to Chicago to Los Angeles, we have seen anger turn into violence and shootings. Anger is leading to unprovoked attacks on innocent pedestrians on the streets and in the subways. Fast food workers and wait staff are getting yelled at for mistakes and misunderstandings. Airline passengers are losing control on flights and are having to be duct taped to their seats. We have seen anger at the Academy Awards and the Supreme Court. People are angry about inflation, supply chain problems, growing shortages, rising gas prices, and politics. Everywhere we turn, people are angry, and if we are honest, we feel it too.
Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. It’s important to know that anger is a natural and human emotion. We all get angry. The 2 questions we need to ask ourselves when we do get angry are these: what are we angry about? and what will we do with that anger?
What are we angry about? If our anger is aimed at an injustice in the world, or the evil that is around us, it can be harnessed for good. Jesus got angry when He entered God’s temple and saw that the one place set aside for Gentiles to worship and pray had been turned into a market. The Court of the Gentiles was the only place non-Jewish people could worship God and that was the place set up for people to buy animals for their sacrifices, or exchange money to pay their offerings. A sacred place set aside for outsiders to worship God had been turned into a mini-mall.
But it was even worse than that because the business transactions in the market were taking advantage of the poor. Doves that might have been sold for pennies elsewhere were going for dollars. Exchange rates for foreign currency were higher in the temple than elsewhere, so the Gentiles were not only being kept out, but the poor were being taken advantage of and all of this made Jesus angry. Jesus wasn’t angry at individual people because of a personal insult, He was angry because God’s house had been turned into a place of corrupt business practices that kept people away from God. Jesus got angry at systems of injustice and He used that anger to drive the evil out of the temple.
Anger at unjust systems can motivate us to work to dismantle them. When we get angry enough at poverty, world hunger, racism, and the abuse of those who are the most vulnerable in our community, we might start working to change things. Is our anger helpful or harmful? Is it aimed at unjust systems or individual people? Are we angry about how others are being treated or about how we are being treated? When we are angry we need to ask ourselves, what am I angry about?
If we are honest, most of the anger we experience is probably not righteous anger aimed at systems of injustice. It’s personal. We are angry because we don’t get our way. We are angry because someone got in our way. We are angry because we aren’t in control. We are angry because things are changing and we don’t like it. We are angry because someone said something about us or offended us in some way. If our anger is personal or directed at specific people we don’t like or who have harmed us and if it can’t be used for God’s greater purpose, then the Bible is pretty clear about what we are to do with it. We don’t put it in our pockets!
We all have pockets and if we fill them with anger, we will find ourselves locked up in our own prison. The Bible is clear and says, don’t hold on to your anger. The Apostle Paul said, “in your anger do not sin: do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27.
Paul doesn’t say, never be angry. Anger is a natural, human emotion, but if our anger is not healthy and if it can't be used by God to bring about positive change, then we need to let it go. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. When Paul says this, he is not just talking to spouses who shouldn’t go to bed mad, although this is good advice for spouses and families. You shouldn’t go to bed angry, but the reality is that none of us should hold on to anger because if we do, we are giving the devil a foothold in our life. The word foothold actually means room, like a guest room, so Paul is saying, don’t invite anger into your life because if you do, you are inviting the devil to come and live with you. If you keep anger in your pocket, you are carrying the devil with you everywhere you go.
When I was in college, I shared an apartment with a friend from the campus fellowship I was part of. You would think two Christian friends sharing space wouldn’t create any stress or problems, but it did. You see, my friend never paid his bills. Food bills, phone bills, utility bills, he never paid them. I did. At first I did it graciously, but then I got angry and instead of dealing with the anger, I held on to it. I thought about it all the time. I had made room for the devil and the anger not only poisoned our friendship but it slowly started to eat away at my own peace of mind. I was consumed by anger and I was miserable.
When we hold on to anger, even overnight, it starts to hold us captive, so we need to learn to let it go. So how can we empty our pockets of anger? Whether it is a small annoyance, or a deep and painful hurt that we have been carrying around for a long time, what steps can we take to let go of our anger and experience freedom? Let me offer 4 steps.
1. Count to 10. I know this sounds too simple, but James 1:19 says, My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
Being slow to speak can help us keep from getting angry. If we can count to 10 and allow our annoyance or frustration to subside, we might see the situation differently. Being slow to speak, or slow to text or tweet or hit reply, gives us time to put things into perspective, maybe see our own role in the problem, and it allows the Holy Spirit to direct our hearts and words and actions.
If watching the news gets you angry, turn off the TV and count to 10. Then count to 10 again. During those 20 seconds of quiet you might gain perspective, hear God’s voice, and let go of what you just heard. When I was on vacation I didn’t watch any news, but I did check the headlines a few times, and boy was I sorry. The Supreme Court, politics, shootings, gas prices hitting an all time high, electric prices going up 45%. I could feel the frustration and anger rising and decided I needed to count to 10 before I got angry.
There has been a lot of talk about Elon Musk buying twitter, and a lot of anger about it all too. I’m not on twitter so I don’t have any strong feelings about it, but if he does buy it, maybe I’ll suggest he add a 10 second “tweet timer”. You can hit send, but then there is a 10 second countdown that gives you time to think about it, and then before the tweet actually sends, a voice asks you, are you sure you want to send this? If we are slow to speak, and if we spend more time listening to others, it can help us keep anger away.
But this doesn’t mean we never speak and just hold on to our frustration because this can lead to bitterness, so we need to learn to
2. Talk it out. I’ll be honest, this is what I didn’t do when I was in college. I kept all my anger inside instead of being honest about the situation and talking with my friend. If we can talk about our anger, we can learn to deal with it in healthy ways, and slowly begin to let it go.
The first time we see anger in the Bible it’s between Cain and Abel. They both brought an offering to God but for whatever reason, God accepted Abel's offering but not Cain’s. Instead of talking to his brother to see what he was doing right and why his offering was being accepted, and instead of talking to God to ask why his offering wasn’t being accepted and what he might need to do differently, Cain pocketed his anger and held on to it.
God even asked Cain, why are you angry? If you do well will you not be accepted? God was giving Cain a chance to talk it out. Talk to me. Talk to your brother. Talk about it. But he didn’t. Cain held on to that anger and that anger held on to him and it led him to kill his brother. When we hold on to anger it poisons our hearts and kills relationships, so if we have the chance, we need to talk it out.
If you aren’t in a place where you can talk about your anger with the person directly, then talk to someone else who can help you. Talk to a trusted friend. Talk to a parent or coach or teacher. Talk to a small group leader or pastor. Talking it out with someone who loves and cares for you can help you work through it.
Sometimes the anger and hurt are so deep and so complex that you might need to talk to a counselor. Pastor David did a great job of reminding us that there is no shame in getting help to work through our feelings, emotions, and the difficult and painful moments of our past. If you need help, if you need to talk to someone, please reach out. We have several people at Faith Church who work as counselors, and some of them have made themselves available to help people understand if counseling might be a good option and what kind of counseling is needed. If you would be interested in talking to one of these people, reach out to Pastor David, Pastor Terry, our Youth Director Jeff Pilger, or me so that we can help out. This is true with any of the issues we have talked about in this series. Sometimes addictions, bitterness, and worry need trained people who can help us work through these things. Please reach out to us if you are looking for help.
3. Forgive. Certainly forgiveness is needed for us to let go of anger; but forgiveness can be really difficult, because we aren’t called to forgive only after the person who has hurt or offended us has finally come to their senses and asked for forgiveness, we are called to forgive as God has forgiven us. This is what Paul said to the Ephesians. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
God was willing to come into our world in the person of Jesus and take on the penalty for our sin so that we could be forgiven, and God did all this long before we ever thought about turning to Him to ask for forgiveness. By the time we ask God to forgive us, God says, It’s already done. And that is what God is asking of us. Can we forgive what has been said and done to us long before the offender may ask for it? Can we forgive what has been said and done to us even if the offender never asks for it?
I know it doesn’t seem rational. I know it doesn’t seem right, but if we aren’t willing to forgive, then God can’t forgive us. Filling our pockets with anger weighs us down and keeps us from being able to fully experience God’s love and grace. To fully understand the power of God’s grace and love, we have to learn to forgive. And it is something we learn. Forgiveness doesn’t happen in an instant. Healing and restoration might take time, but if we can let go of our anger, if we can forgive, we can begin to experience the freedom God wants for us.
4. Stay connected to Jesus. Jesus said that He is the vine and we are the branches and that if we will remain in Him we will bear good fruit. Some of this fruit is what we call the fruit of the spirit which is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Galatians 5:22-23
The Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs, so the more we grow in love, the more forgiving we will become. Patience with others can keep us from getting frustrated and angry. Kindness and gentleness toward others means we will be slow to anger and quick to listen. Self-control helps us evaluate our anger and process it so we can overcome it. The fruit of the spirit leads us away from anger, so we need to allow this fruit to develop and mature in us, and we do this by staying connected to the vine which is Jesus.
It almost seems too easy, but all the practices that help us stay connected to God can help us overcome anger. Connecting to God in worship and prayer can shape our hearts and help us let go of anger. Reading God’s word alone and with others can help us understand how much God loves us and how we are called to love others. Friendships and serving with other people of faith can help us learn to live in relationship with one another in healthy ways. Staying connected to Jesus can help us overcome anger.
If we want to experience God’s freedom and fullness then we have to be careful what we put in our pockets. Fill your pockets with the fruit of God’s Spirit. Live your life connected to Jesus and let go of anger. Don’t hold on to it. Count to 10, talk it out, forgive others just as God has forgiven you, and stay close to Jesus.
Next Steps
Set Free From Anger
When was the last time you got angry? What caused the anger? Did you hold on to it? How did you learn to let it go?
What made Jesus angry: Read John 2:13-17
● How was this anger “righteous” and not personal?
● What did Jesus do with His anger?
● How can this be a model for evaluating our anger?
4 steps to overcoming anger
1. Count to 10: Read James 1:19
● Where do you need to stop and count to 10?
● In what relationships do you need to be “quick to listen”?
2. Talk It Out
● With whom do you need to have a difficult conversation?
● Pray for that person.
● Pray for the strength and grace to share your feelings.
● Ask someone to pray for you as you meet.
● If you need to “talk it out” with a counselor, start the process of finding someone this week.
3. Forgive: Read Ephesians 4:32
● Think of all the ways God has forgiven you.
● Make a list of these ways and come to terms with the depth of God’s grace in your life.
4. Stay Connected to Jesus: Read Galatians 5:22-23
● How can the fruit of the spirit keep us from getting angry?
● What fruit do you need to cultivate in your life?
● What is one thing you can do this week to stay connected to Jesus?
