Fruit of the Spirit ~ Gentleness

Today we are going to look at gentleness and the word for gentleness that Paul uses in Galatians 5:23 is the same word Jesus uses in his sermon on the mount when he says, Blessed are the meek – for they shall inherit the earth. The Greek word praetus is defined both as meekness and gentleness, but it does not mean being weak. We often have this idea that being meek or gentle means being soft and weak, but that is simply not true. The way gentleness or meekness is defined is as one having great power and strength but being able to keep that power under control. Think of a horse, they have incredible strength and power but once the horse is trained that power has been brought under control, and once that power is under control, a horse can be incredibly gentle. We see this kind of gentleness in Jesus when he was questioned after his arrest. During his trial, Jesus faced all kinds of false accusations and instead of lashing out in anger to speak the truth and set the record straight, Jesus kept silent. He kept his power under control. Think about Jesus on the cross. When he not only could have come down from the cross and saved himself but called down an army of angels to fight with him and for him, and yet chose to submit himself to God – that’s being gentle. So gentleness is nothing like weakness, it is true power and strength under control, under our control and under God’s control.

Now as we have seen with all the fruit of God’s spirit, the reason we are to be gentle and the reason gentleness will flow through us as we stay connected to God is because God himself if gentle. To understand what the gentleness of God looks like and how we can begin to live it out in our lives, let’s look at the life of Jesus. Turn to John 4:1-18, 28-30, 39-42.

The first thing we learn about the gentleness of God is that it waits patiently for us to come to him. Jesus is sitting at the well waiting for the woman to come to him. I don’t believe there are any random encounters Jesus has with people – he knows this woman is coming to the well at noon and so he waits for her. Now the woman arrives in the middle of the day because she is an outcast. The middle of the day was hottest time to be carrying water from the well outside the village into your home, so women came to draw water either early in the morning, or early in the evening when it was cool. You only carried jars of water back and forth during the heat of the day if you either weren’t welcome by the other women or you didn’t want to deal with their harsh words and criticism. When we find out that this woman has had 5 husbands and is currently living with man #6 we begin to understand why she came alone during the middle of the day. Either she was forced out by the others, or she got tired of hearing their hurtful words and harsh condemnation. While no one else wanted to be seen with her, it is the gentleness of God that causes Jesus to stay and wait.

In the movie the horse whisperer, there is a scene where a horse has been spooked by a cell phone and runs off to the far end of a pasture and instead of yelling at the horse to return, the horse whisperer simply sits in the pasture and waits. Slowly the wild animal is drawn to the man and eventually the horse inches close enough to touch him. Once the horse is close enough, the horse whisper is able to speak soft words that comfort and change the wild nature of the horse so that it can be led back into the security of the stall. Isn’t that what we see Jesus doing here as he sits and waits at the well? He obviously knows the rebellion and the fear of this woman and instead of yelling at her, and instead of words that are harsh and critical, Jesus simply waits and he welcomes the woman when she arrives.

This is God’s gentleness in action and this is often how God’s gentleness works in our own lives. Like the woman at the well, we have all rebelled and at times we have all made some poor choices in life, choices that have separated us from God and from those around us, and while God in his holiness and power could simply condemn us for our sin, God doesn’t. God is gentle with us and many times God just waits for us to return. That’s not just the image of God we see in Jesus, but this is the truth of God taught to us by Jesus. In Jesus story of the prodigal son, when the son finally returns home after wild and wasteful living, the father is waiting. And he’s not waiting to judge and condemn, he’s waiting to reach and forgive. In Luke 15:20 is one of the most powerful lines of scripture, it says while the young son was still a long way off, his father saw him. The father saw his rebellious son return home because he was looking for him. The father was scanning the horizon waiting for and hoping that his wild son would return home, and when he sees him, instead of lashing out in anger, the father forgives him and welcomes him. Again, this is the gentleness of God in action. Even though we have sinned and fallen short of God’s will for us, instead of lashing out in anger, God is gentle and waits for us to come to him and when we do – God forgives and God welcomes us home.

This is not only how God’s gentleness works in our lives, but it is how God’s gentleness needs to be working through us in the lives of others. One of the most powerful ways we can help others is to simply wait for those who are hurting and broken to come to us for help. Too often we are quick to pass judgment and speak words that condemn, but if the spirit of God is working within us then we will become gentle and simply wait in patience and love for people to come to us and when they do, we must again be gentle and offer them God’s grace and love.

Notice the grace and love that Jesus offers the woman when she finally arrives at the well. Just speaking to her is a sign that Jesus values her. The traditions of Jesus day said that men did not talk with unknown women and Jews did not talk with Samaritans. In fact, not only did Jews not speak to Samaritans, they would never touch anything a Samaritan had touched or else they would be considered unclean. So when Jesus asks her to draw water for him, it’s not because he is thirsty – it’s because she is. She is thirsty for acceptance. She needs to know that she has value and worth and Jesus offers her that by simply asking her for a drink. As the conversation continues Jesus lifts her up even more by saying that he would be willing to offer her the gift of living water so that she would never be thirsty again. The gentleness of God is at work here because instead of lashing out at in righteous anger, Jesus offers God’s grace and mercy.
What’s amazing to see in this story is what this gentleness of God does in this woman’s life. It changes her and it changes the people around her. Once she has been accepted by Jesus she seeks more. She asks Jesus questions about God and the coming of the Messiah and she is so taken with Jesus response and his gentleness that she returns home and invites her family and friends to come and meet Jesus as well. Like ripples in a pond, the gentleness of God spreads out further and further and touches the hearts and lives of more and more people. This is the real power of God’s gentleness, it touches people and it changes their lives, and then through changed hearts and lives, God can touch and change others.

So God is gentle with us and his gentleness forgives us and changes us and it brings us to a place of new life, and while the gentleness of God will help us be gentle with others, the scriptures make it clear that we are called to be gentle with one another.
In Titus 3:2 it says we are to be peaceable and considerate and to show true humility (or gentleness) toward everyone.
In 1 Tim. 6:11 Paul says we are to pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
In 2 Tim 2:25, Paul says we are to gently instruct others in the hopes that God will grant them repentance and knowledge of the truth. That’s exactly what Jesus did with the woman at the well, he gentle instructed her. Jesus pointed out the truth about her life and he led her to a place of grace. Gentleness is speaking the truth in love and then being willing to be there for people as they deal with the problems and the pain in their lives.

As we seek to be gentle with one another, let’s be clear that we don’t do this on our own; we do this only by submitting ourselves to God and allow God to do it through us. The author Charles Allen says, pride comes from looking only at ourselves, but gentleness comes by looking at God. If we think we can be gentle toward one another on our own, we will fail. Gentleness only comes as we look to God allow His gentle touch to change our lives.