Relationship Principles of Jesus ~ The Greatest are the Servants

I was blessed to grow up in a home where every summer for several years there were four generations living under the same roof. For several years we lived in my Grandmother’s beach house in CT and every summer my Grandmother and Great-grandmother would come and live with us. One of the most vivid memories I have of my Great-grandmother is sitting on the porch with her and playing cards. While my Grandmother played cards to win and she taught us all how to be somewhat competitive, my Great-grandmother didn’t care about winning at all– for her it was all about the time spent together. In fact, what I remember most about my Great-grandmother is playing Old Maid because when we played cards with her we could see every card in her hand reflected in her glasses, so it was easy to not pick the old maid and win the game. I’m sure she knew we were cheating, but she didn’t care, in fact she would often make it even easier for us by sticking the old maid up in her hand and encouraging us to pick that card – which of course we never did. When the game was over and she was the old maid again, she would simply smile and want to play another game. For my Great-grandmother it wasn’t about the cards – it was about the relationship and it was about helping her great grandchildren feel like winners, and let me tell you, when you are in K, first and second grade, nothing feels better than winning a game of cards, even old maid.

What my Great-grandmother was living out was a powerful relationship principle taught to us by Jesus. She knew that relationships would be the strongest and healthiest when we are willing to be humble and serve one another. There is a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to defining humility because we often see it as a sign of weakness – but it is not. Humility is simply lifting up the value and worth we see in others. The best definition of humility comes from Philippians 2:3-4, do nothing out of vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Humility is not putting us down, it’s not thinking less of ourselves - it’s simply thinking more of others. Humility is considering others as better than we are and then turning that consideration, that thought, into action. Genuine humility will lead to service because if we really see others as being better than we are, we will want to lift them up and love them in practical ways that will meet their needs. My Great grandmother didn’t think less of herself, she just thought more of us and so winning didn’t mean anything to her, but seeing us win, seeing us happy and laughing and feeling confident meant everything.

Jesus teaches this relationship principle to his disciples in Mark 10:35-45. As Jesus is walking along the road with his disciples, James and John come close and draw Jesus aside to ask him if they can sit at his right and left hand when he comes into power. What they want are special places of honor above the other disciples. Now what do you think happens when the other disciples hear about this? They get angry of course, (10:41). The reason they get angry is that they also want the places of honor and prestige. So look at what happens to relationships when people try to elevate themselves above others, relationships are strained and in time can be broken. If we are only looking out for our own self interest and what is good for us and what will make us feel superior to others, relationships will be damaged and ultimately destroyed, so Jesus steps in to teach them this relationship principle, Mark 10:43b-45.

This principle isn’t just a faith principle, we aren’t to be humble servants just to be good followers of Jesus, this is a relationship principle. The way to build and grow healthy relationship and the way to keep relationships strong is to be humble and serve one another. In Ephesians 5:21 Paul calls people to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. Submitting to one another means placing the needs of others before our own, its humble service and it builds relationships. Jesus knew that they way to hold his team together was by teaching them to stop thinking about themselves and only working for what was good for them and start thinking about how to serve and help each other. Relationships will experience healing and they will grow stronger if we will stop thinking about what is good for us and start serving others.
Jesus didn’t just teach this principle of humility and service, it was how he ordered and lived his entire life. It was THE principle which guided who he was and everything he did. Look at Philippians 2:6-8. This passage is known as the Christ hymn and it is thought to be one of the earliest sayings of the church, which means it needs to be one of the guiding principles for us today. When it says that we are to have the same mind as that of Christ Jesus, it means we are to have the same attitude and live by the same principles that guided Jesus, and what we see here is a life of humility and service. Although Jesus was God himself, he did not think of himself first, he thought about others and how he could help them, and the way Jesus was going to do that was to empty himself of his divine nature, become a man and walk in this world.

And when God entered into this world as a man he did not demand any rights, privileges or power, he lived a life that constantly thought about others first, Jesus humbled himself and became a servant. The depth of his service wasn’t just seen in how he fed the hungry, made the lame to walk, the blind to see and brought healing to anyone and everyone who came to him, his humility and service was seen most powerfully when he became obedient to death, even death on a cross. It is the cross which stands as the ultimate symbol of humility and service. Jesus chose to humble himself and he chose a path of service. Jesus didn’t think of himself first or what was good for him, he thought about others and at every turn he chose to serve others. He served by teaching, feeding, loving, healing, forgiving and setting people free. That is the example of humble service that is set before us and we don’t follow it just because it is what we do are to do as followers of Jesus, we follow this path because it is the way that leads to stronger and healthier relationships. Humility and service will strengthen relationships and remember, relationships are the most important things in life and we should be doing all we can to make them stronger.

Every relationship in life can be strengthened if we will be willing to humble ourselves and serve. Think about how marriages can be transformed if husbands and wives will set aside their own wants and needs in order to care for and lift up each other. This is what Paul means when in Ephesians he says, wives submit to your husbands and husbands love your wives. Remember the call to love is a call to submit AND serve AND sacrifice for the other. The lives of our children can be significantly improved if we will place their needs before our own and serve them in loving ways. This doesn’t mean we give our children everything – sometimes the loving thing to do is to not buy them material possessions but give them our presence, our time and guidance and love. Maybe the loving thing to do is set aside time to play a game of cards and let our children know they are valued and loved. Relationships at work and in our community can be healed and transformed if we will serve and lift up those around us. Our world can be a place of life, love, justice and joy if we would all be willing to humble ourselves and life lives of service.

Today’s a great day to hear this message of humility and service because the crop walk is great opportunity for us to learn humility and service. The crop walk reminds us that there are deep needs in our world that we can help meet if we are willing to think of others more highly than ourselves. Sometimes it is hearing the truth of injustice that humbles me, and so I need to be reminded of some harsh realities of the world today, like:
· 16,000 children die of hunger related causes every day, that’s one child every 5 seconds, which means since we have been here in worship over 500 children have died due to hunger & poverty.
· To provide basic health and nutrition for the world’s poorest countries would cost $13 billion- which is what the US and European spend on perfume each year. Each year the US alone spends $20Billion on ice cream. Think about it, what we spend on ice cream each year could solve the world’s hunger problem!

I am humbled when I hear these statistics, but the question is will I do something about it? Will I turn my humility into service? Will I serve and give to those in need around me?
If we were truly humble servants following the example of Jesus, we would reorder our lives so that more food and resources would go to those in need. As we think about becoming more humble servants and changing our lives to serve others in ways that will truly lift them, the one thing we will need is a deep and abiding faith and trust in God. The only way we can let go of our self interest and serve others the way Jesus did is if we believe to our very core that God not only has our best interest at heart but that God will work to meet our every need. It is our faith and trust in God that helps move us from being demanding in this world to being dependant upon God, and it is faith and trust that move us from condemning others to lifting them up. If we trust God to have our best interest at heart and if we trust God to care for us in all ways and in all places, then we will be able to stop striving for all that we need and start serving the needs of those around us, and as that happens, something else will happen – relationships will improve. Families will be strengthened, communities will grow strong and our world will experience more peace, justice, joy and love.

As we seek to live lives of humble service I want to share one last thought. A lot of times we think that lives of humility and service have to be void of competition and greatness. That is simply not true. Go back to Mark 10:43, Jesus does not condemn the disciples for wanting to be the greatest – he just says they are going about it the wrong way. The way to be great is not through self-promotion; it’s by being humble and serving others. The desire to be great and to live a life of significance and greatness is a fundamental part of who we are. Think about it, we have been created in the image of God and God is great (I learned that in the very first prayer I learned, God is great, God is good…), so inherent in us is a desire to be great – but while the world tells us the way to achieve greatness is through personal fame, glory, position and power, Jesus says the path to real greatness, God’s greatness, is humility, service and sacrifice. The greatest are the servants so we need to strive to be a servant.
If you are a competitive person, great – strive be the best servant there is. In Romans 12:10 (NRSV) it says love one another with mutual affection, outdo one another in showing honor. I like the NRSV because it says it’s ok to be competitive, outdo one another – see if you can top each other, not in an effort of self promotion, but in order to love as Jesus loves. Here’s where some ambition and competition can be a good thing. Pour yourself into honoring those around you. Follow the example of Jesus and give all that you have to serve those God has placed in your life and on your heart.

Getting back to the relationships in our lives, if there is a relationship that we need to our want to improve then we need to find real ways to serve that person. If we want to improve our church then we need to outdo one another in showing honor. We need to find ways to lift one another up through our words and our actions. If we want to see transformation in our community and world, let us do it the same way Jesus did, by not thinking about what is good for us and what will benefit us, but what will help others. The greatest are the servants, and greatness will come to our relationships when we do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but consider others as better than ourselves.