Ok, let’s be honest. We all complain and there is a part of us that likes to complain. Right now it is easy to complain about wearing masks, or other people not wearing masks. It’s easy to complain about social distancing, or those people who do not honor social distancing and stand a little too close to us. It’s easy to complain about not being able to do all those things we want to do but can’t because of covid 19, but if we weren’t complaining about covid 19 we would be complaining about something else.
We complain about our jobs, our schools, and yes, at times, we even complain about our church. We complain about the weather, the service we get in the store or online or in a restaurant, and we are quick to complain about other drivers. People also complain about their spouses, their children, and at different times in our lives we all complain about our parents (sorry mom and dad). And right now, it is very easy to get ramped up complaining about politics. Whatever the other side is doing is wrong and can’t be tolerated and so we complain.
Social media, and our ability to comment about everything we see or read online makes it easy to complain and be negative, so we might think that complaining is getting worse. Whether it is or not, I don’t know, but I do know that complaining has been around forever. The Bible is full of complainers, in fact, we can trace complaining all the way back to the Garden of Eden. When God confronted Adam and Eve about eating from the tree of knowledge, the first thing Adam did was complain to God for giving him his wife in the first place. The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Genesis 3:12
Complaining has truly been around forever, but the group of people known for complaining in the Bible were the people of Israel. When the people were slaves in Egypt, they cried out to God to deliver them, and God did. God miraculously set them free by parting the Red Sea and allowing all the people of Israel to cross over on dry ground and then closing in the water on their enemy. Just three days after this miraculous rescue, the people started to complain to Moses and God about not having water to drink. Instead of trusting the God who just performed a miracle with water, to provide them with water, they just complain about it. God heard their complaint and in His mercy, He gave them water.
It wasn’t much longer, however, when the people started to complain again, this time about not having enough food. In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Exodus 16:2-3
The people had seen God rescue them, and provide water for them from a rock, but instead of trusting God and asking Him for food, they whined and complained and actually said that they would have been better off staying as slaves in Egypt. God’s patience and grace was evident again and it was from this moment on that God provided the people with food. Every morning, for the next 40 years, a type of bread appeared on the ground - it was called manna.
But soon that wasn’t enough. The people got tired of manna and complained again to Moses and God saying, If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!” Numbers 11:4-6
Once again, the people were not grateful for their freedom and all the ways God had provided for them on their journey, instead they complained because they wanted more. While God was patient with His people, we need to understand that our complaining does impact our relationship with God. Complaining offends the heart of God. Numbers 11:1 says, Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp.
Our constant complaining offends the heart of God, and if you are a parent, I think you can understand why. As a parent, it doesn’t seem to matter what you do for your children or how much you provide for them, they often complain because it is not enough or not what they want. Has anyone ever heard their children ask, what’s for dinner and then immediately hear a complaint? But I don’t like meatloaf. I don’t want fish. I don’t like brussel sprouts (and I don’t by the way). As a parent you feel a little offended that all your hard work and care isn’t appreciated at all. God feels the same. Our complaining can offend the heart of God who, in love, has given us so much and yet at times it never seems to be enough for us, or we don’t think it is good enough.
Complaining not only offends the heart of God it also carries consequences. The more we complain, the more we will be surrounded by complainers, and have more to complain about. People who like to complain are good at finding other people who like to complain, and once they get together they find all kinds of new things to complain about. Complaining feeds on itself and grows. And those who constantly complain just aren’t fun to be around, so pleasant and kind people slowly keep their distance. Constant complaining will lead you to be surrounded by other negative people who love to complain until that is all you hear. It is a vicious, never ending cycle.
So let’s get to the heart of the matter - why do we complain? At the heart of complaining is us. It’s pride. It’s ego. It’s the idea of entitlement that says we deserve to get what we want and when we want it. It’s a self-centered attitude that makes us the main character in the story who everyone else is there to serve. So when we don’t get what we want, and when we want it, our heart cries out with complaints.
Complaining truly is a heart issue. It happens when we put ourselves at the center of our lives, and as long as we are the center and we are the focus, we cannot be centered or focused on God. In many ways, this was the original sin of Adam and Eve. It wasn’t that they disobeyed God, it’s that they had a heart that said, I want what I want and I deserve to have it. The more we complain, the more we are living for ourselves, and the less we are living for God and for others. The more we complain, the farther we move from God, and the more we alienate those around us. It is time for us to say I Quit Complaining.
The Bible tells us clearly that this is what we should do.
Do everything without grumbling or arguing. Philippians 2:14.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29,
Complaining is grumbling and arguing, and it is not helpful, it does not build others up, and it does not benefit those who listen. I’m not talking about constructive criticism and helpful suggestions that, given with grace, can benefit people. I’m talking about whining and complaining because things aren’t going our way and we aren’t getting what we want. We need to quit complaining so that we can be more like Jesus.
When Paul tells us not to complain, he gives us a clear and compelling reason why. Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. Philippians 2:14-15.
The reason we aren’t to complain is so that we can be blameless and pure children of God. The reason we aren’t to complain is so that we can be more like Jesus and truly experience a deeper and more life-giving relationship with God.
It’s interesting that Paul didn’t say that we shouldn’t lie, cheat, or steal to be more like Jesus. He didn’t say we should give more money to the poor, pray more often, or read the Bible to be more like Jesus, he said specifically that we need to stop complaining.
When we complain we are only thinking about ourselves and to be like Jesus we have to stop thinking of ourselves and start thinking about God and others. This is how Paul told us to live, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4.
So we need to quit complaining, and while we can discipline our words and watch what we say (and we should), we need to take it one step further and reshape our heart. Since complaining really is a heart issue, coming from a heart that is only focused on us, to really quit complaining we need to align our heart with the heart of God. The single best thing we can do to reshape our heart and realign our attitude is to choose joy.
No matter what might be going on in our lives, we can choose joy. No matter what the day brings we need to find one thing to rejoice over. Find one thing to give thanks for. When Paul wrote his letter to the Philippians, things were not going well for him. Paul had been arrested and he was sitting in prison in Rome. Paul had everything in the world to complain about. Paul knew that his death was coming soon - perhaps any day - and he could have complained about that, but instead of complaining he chose joy. Even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. Philippians 2:17-18
When Paul talks about being poured out as an offering, he is talking about his coming death and he said, even if I am going to die, I am going to be glad and rejoice. Later Paul says, Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4.
If Paul commands us to rejoice always, joy has to be a choice we can make regardless of the circumstances around us. Joy can be an attitude of our heart at all times and the more we choose joy, the more our hearts will beat like the heart of God.
It’s easy to complain about everything right now, but maybe right now is the time to wave the white flag and say I Quit Complaining. Maybe today is the day to not only silence our words and watch what we say but to start reshaping our heart so our primary focus will always be to love God and live for him. We need to quit complaining and start choosing joy. Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again. Rejoice.
Next Steps
I Quit Complaining
For Personal Reflection:
● What are the things you complain about the most?
● What do you think causes you to complain?
● How do these complaints reflect your heart?
● What has complaining cost you in life?
Read about the complaining of Israel in Exodus 15:22-17:7.
● What did Israel complain about?
● Why do you think the people complained as much as they did?
● How did their complaining impact their relationship with God?
● How did their complaining lengthen their journey in the wilderness?
What are the consequences of complaining?
Andy said: The more we complain, the more we will be surrounded by complainers, and the more we will find to complain about.
● How have you seen complaining feed on itself and grow?
● How does complaining impact your relationship with family? Friends? God?
● What other consequences have you seen to complaining?
This week, before you complain, try to speak a positive word first. Ask God to guide your thoughts and words.
To align your heart with the heart of God and quit complaining - Choose Joy.
1. Each day this week find 3 things that bring you joy.
2. Share these things with others to spread joy.
3. Thank God for these 3 things - and more.
