What fears did you have growing up? It might have been a rational fear - or it might have been completely irrational. I was afraid of thunderstorms. I didn’t mind the thunder, noises can’t hurt you, but lightning can and I didn’t like lightning. I was convinced that lightning was going to strike our house so my bed was along an inside wall growing up and if it was a particularly bad storm I might move to the end of the bed which was even farther from an outside wall.
I also had this weird fear of drowning in the car if the car went over the railing on a bridge. If I was sitting next to the door I would have my hand on the door handle so I could open the door as the car was going over so I would be able to escape into the water. I have no idea if that would even work, but it made sense to me. We lived between two major rivers in CT so we were often going over bridges and I remember trying to make sure I could sit on the outside of the back seat and not in the middle if we were going to go over a bridge.
I know I have also shared that I have a fear of bats. I don’t remember this at all growing up, I just remember being at the Potawatomi Zoo in South Bend IN and looking at a display in the nocturnal animal exhibit. It was just a blank wall, but then I realized the wall was moving, and then I realized it was a wall of bats. My skin went clammy and I started to back up and soon found myself outside of the exhibit. I still don’t like bats.
I read this week that we are born with only two fears. Studies have shown that babies fear falling and they fear loud noises, which means that all other fears we have are learned. So God is not the one who created us to be afraid of the dark, or bats, or lightning, or spiders, or snakes, or public speaking, or monsters under the bed and killers behind the shower curtain - those fears are not from God. In fact, no fear is from God because the Bible says clearly God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 (from Young’s Literal Translation - public domain)
In fact, not living in fear is so important to God that over 300 times in the Bible God tells us to Fear Not, or do not be afraid. Living free of fear is important to God because fear limits our experience. Fear keeps us from stepping out to pursue our goals and dreams, fear keeps us from being who God created us to be. So to reach our full potential in life, in love, and in faith we need to wave the white flag and say, I Quit Living In Fear.
While some fears can be comical to look at, there are 4 common fears that impact all of us. They can consume our hearts and mind, and rob us of peace. These are important fears for us to overcome.
1. Fear of Loss. For many of us, the fear of losing someone we love can consume us. Whether it is our children, spouses, parents, or friends, the fear of losing those we love is powerful because the bonds of love and relationship are powerful. We can’t imagine our lives without our family and friends in it so the fear of losing someone close to us can truly debilitate us. It can bind us up inside and destroy any sense of peace or well-being.
The fear of loss isn’t just connected to the death of those we love, however, there are many things we might fear losing. With the economy right now, many people fear losing their job, or losing their financial security. With covid, some people fear losing their health or going through an extended period of sickness. Or how about losing control in any area of life. Anyone experience that kind of fear? When we begin to lose control at work, at home, or even physically, it is scary.
2. Fear of Failure. This isn’t just a fear we have when we are young and afraid of failing in school, or in sports. or in other activities. This is a fear that can follow us throughout our lives. Many people fear failing at work so they don’t take on new challenges or step out into new opportunities. Many people live with the fear that one day everyone is going to realize that they're not as good at their job as everyone thinks they are and that they really are a failure in life. Fear of failure is a big reason why more of us don’t follow our dreams or step out in some new way to serve God with our gifts. We settle for less because we are too afraid to try and fail.
3. Fear of Rejection. This fear can keep people isolated and alone because we are afraid of being rejected by others. It keeps us from developing supportive friendships, maybe dating or even getting married. Even in marriage people can live in fear of saying or doing something that might cause their spouse to reject them. If you are a people pleaser and always want everyone around you to like you, it could simply be a fear of rejection.
The fear of rejection is one reason why social media can be so toxic. We share images of ourselves that will get likes and positive comments because we are afraid of being rejected and ridiculed by others if we were to show our true selves. We create pictures of our lives that we think people will like, and we wear masks to try to be people we are not because we don’t want to be rejected. This is a real fear that is shaping our hearts and lives in many negative ways.
4. Fear of the Unknown. OK, if none of the first three really spoke to you, the fear of the unknown impacts all of us. Right now we are living with the fear of the unknown both with covid and with politics. We don’t know what the future will bring with the virus. Will we be able to plan anything for 2021? Will we get sick? Will our family get sick? What if I do get the virus? Will I recover? What if schools shut down again? What will my business or my job look like if the impact of covid lingers for another 6 months? Or 12 months?
And politically we are being told right now by both the right and the left to fear the election. No matter who wins, we are being told that the end of our nation will come. If this is the most consequential election ever and if our freedom, or our constitution, or our economy, or our health care, or our planet all hang in the balance… no matter what happens there will be a lot of people afraid after the election, and until then, we are all afraid.
All 4 of these fears have a common thread running through them, they all feed off the question, what if? What if I lose my job? What if someone I love dies? What if I try something and fail? What if I am rejected by people around me? What if the virus doesn’t go away quickly? What if the “other guy” wins? All these “what if” questions feed our fear and while the fears are real and common, we need to remember that none of them are from God because, once again, God has not given us a spirit of fear.
When we focus on the what if, we are giving room in our hearts for fear to reign, but what if we focused on a different question? What if we spent our time focused on the question who is?
When I’m facing loss or failure or rejection or the unknown, who is still with me? When I am afraid of losing my health or my job or my financial security, who is going to strengthen me? When the election is over, who is still going to be ruling over this world? The answer to all of those questions is God! The question, who is? helps us focus on God and reminds us to place our faith and trust in God and not in the what ifs.
So let’s quit living in fear and one specific action we can take is to sit down and Acknowledge the Fear. What is the fear that is limiting us? What is the fear that is consuming us? Whatever it is, we need to name it. If it is the fear of losing a loved one, or our job - we need to name it. If it is the fear of failure and rejection at work or at school - we need to name it. If the fear of the unknown is consuming us - we need to name it. Acknowledge the fear and then in the midst of that fear Trust God.
When I am afraid of being alone, I need to trust that God is with me. When I am afraid of not being able to care for my family, I need to trust that God is going to provide for us. When I am afraid of failing and looking foolish, I need to trust that God is for me and God is the one who will lead me in all of life.
Acknowledge the fear and trust God , this is what David did to quit living in fear. Before he became king, David was being pursued by just about everyone. He was running for his life and often hiding in caves to stay alive. He had a real fear of being captured and killed and in Psalm 56:1-4 David named his fear and then trusted God.
Be merciful to me, my God, for my enemies are in hot pursuit;
all day long they press their attack.
My adversaries pursue me all day long;
in their pride many are attacking me.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid.
David acknowledges his fear - all his enemies are pursuing him. They are hunting him down on all sides and he is running for his life. David acknowledged his fear and then in the midst of being afraid he intentionally told himself that he will trust God. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. And it is that trust in the God who is with him and helping him and protecting him that removed the fear. It can remove ours as well.
One clear way we can turn and trust God is to Seek God with all our heart and soul and mind and strength. Trusting God means leaning on his promises, which means first knowing those promises. Trusting God comes when we seek God through his word, through worship, through intentional times of prayer, and even through service to God and others. The only way to truly trust God is to seek God with all that we have and all that we are and lean into all that we find in Him.
When we seek God, we will find that God has promised to always be with us, so no matter where the what if questions lead us, we can say, but God is with me, and if God is with me, what can stand against me. When we seek God, we find that God has promised to provide and care for us, so when we fear loss or failure we can say, but God is going to provide all my needs according to his purpose and plan. When we seek God, we will find that God is the creator of the ends of the earth, and that all days, past, present and future, are in God’s hands. So when the fear of an uncertain future weighs heavy on our hearts, we can say, but God is sovereign and still sits on the throne.
John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, said, Whenever I feel fearful emotions overtaking me, I just close my eyes and thank God that He is still on the throne reigning over everything and I take comfort in His control over the affairs of my life.
When he felt fear creep in, Wesley sought God, he closed his eyes and could see that God is. God is still on the throne. God is still in control and God is still with me and loves me. It was this knowledge that gave John Wesley peace. It was this practice of seeking God that allowed him to say, I have never known more than 15 minutes of anxiety or fear.
When we are afraid - and fear will come - we can quit living in it and overcome it by acknowledging the fear and trusting God in it, and by seeking God until the fear is God. Once again, this is what David tells us in Psalm 34:4, I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Seeking a deeper relationship with God helps us trust God more, and when we can trust God more we can quit living in fear.
Fear is not from God. God did not give us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, and love, and of a sound mind. God does not want us to live in fear and we can quit living this way if we will acknowledge our fear and trust God in it, and if we will seek God until all fear is gone.
Next Steps
I Quit Living In Fear
What are some of the things you were afraid of growing up? How have you overcome some of those fears? What fears do you still have today?
Four Common fears we all face.
● Fear of Loss
● Fear of Failure
● Fear of Rejection
● Fear of the Unknown
n what ways do these fears impact your heart and life?
How do these fears lead you to ask “what if” questions?
Where are you asking those questions today?
How can, who is, begin to confront the what if’s?
To quit living in fear:
1. Acknowledge the fear and trust God.
Read Psalm 56:1-4 and fill in this blank
I am afraid of ______________________________________
(Answer honestly and share with God in prayer)
2. Seek God until all fear is gone.
Read Psalm 34:4
What ways are you currently seeking God?
What new way can seek God this week?
For more study: look up some of the 300+ fear not passages found in the Bible. Some suggestions:
Joshua 1:9, Psalm 23, Psalm 27, Psalm 118:6, Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 43:1, John 14:27, 2 Timothy 1:7
