Joyride - Hope

This month we are taking a joyride through the NT book of Philippians and learning from the Apostle Paul how we can experience more joy in our lives.  Joy doesn’t come from the places we often think it does.  For example, joy isn’t just found when everything is going well.  Paul talked about the joy he had, and he was writing this letter while he was sitting in prison, bound up in chains.  Last week we heard that joy doesn’t come when we promote ourselves and push to get what we want but actually comes when we are willing to give to and elevate others.  Joy comes with humility and not selfish ambition.  Today we are going to talk about the joy we can experience when we place our hope in God and not in the word.  

Before Paul became a follower of Jesus, he was a rising leader in the Jewish community, and he placed all his hope for the future in himself.  In Philippians 3, Paul said he had hope for his future because he had the right heritage, the right training, and the right temperament to get all he wanted in life.  Paul’s hope for the future was based on his own position and ability, but once he met Jesus, he was willing to give all of that up and put his hope in God.  Paul literally left behind everything he knew, and all that he trusted in, to embrace Jesus as his Savior and Lord and place his hope in Christ.  

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection -from the dead.  Philippians 3:7-11

For Paul, joy was not going to be found in the things of this world or from the things that Paul could get on his own.  Joy was not going to be found in Paul's own goodness, strength, or ability, it was going to be found in Christ.  Paul said he wanted to know Christ and experience the power of Christ's resurrection.  He wanted to experience the power of life over death, victory and freedom over sin, and eternal joy, but any hope of experiencing these things would come only by giving up all things to trust in one thing, Jesus.

As we focus on hope today, let’s be clear about what we mean.  For the world, hope is a feeling or desire that what we want to happen in the future, will happen.  This kind of hope is  wishful thinking.  I hope I get good grades on the test.  I hope I get the job.  I hope things go well for me.  But biblical hope goes much deeper.  Biblical hope is the confidence that God will provide a better future.  It is the anticipation of God’s fullness and power in our lives and in our future.  The circumstances we go through may not be easy, and we may not get what we want, but we are confident that it is God’s plan for us.   

I have been inspired by the hope that I have seen in my sister and brother in law.  In many ways, their story has paralleled Paul’s.  They were willing to give up all things for one thing, a deeper relationship with Jesus, because they knew that this one thing was better than everything they had previously put their hope in.  A few weeks ago my brother in law, Tom Nealley, was here and he shared with us some of their story.  

In the eyes of the world, my sister and brother in law had everything.  Tom had a great job, they had a beautiful home, and they were financially secure.  They had everything, but after they began to walk more closely with Jesus, and heard God’s call for the church, and their own lives, they began to wrestle with what God wanted for them.  I watched as they began to give up all things for Christ.  

When Tom took the job at their church, I watched them sell the house they built and downsize to a smaller house.  Then they downsized again to a townhouse.  They moved several times as they heard God’s call, and they went through periods of uncertainty and frustration, but never once did I hear them say that they ever regretted the choices they made.  They never looked back.  It was their hope that kept them looking to God’s future and trusting in God’s plan.  Watching them on this journey over the past 20 years, I can honestly say that while things have not always been easy, they have found joy.  As Tom said, they have better stories for their lives, they have grown and matured in life, and they have more faith, more hope, and more joy.  

While God may not be calling you to give up all things the same way they did, God is calling all of us to live with that kind of hope.  Are we willing to place our hope in Christ alone and live the way God calls us to, even if it means giving up those things we lean on in this world?  Can we live with this kind of hope?  

If this is the kind of hope we want guiding our lives, Paul shows us three ways we can find it.

1. Hope looks to the future.  Not only does Paul say that everything he trusted in this world is garbage, but he says that he will never look back but always look forward. Philippians 3:13-14.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Hope doesn’t look back to what we have done in the past, or what we trusted in before, hope always looks to the future and what God promises to do for us in the days to come.  It was a vision of what God wanted for the church that kept my sister and brother in law moving forward.  They continue to have hope that God will use them to bring about this vision and as they live with this hope they have more joy.

2. Hope looks beside you.  If you want to be a more hopeful person, hang out with more hopeful people.  Philippians 3:17

Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. 

After Paul chose to follow Jesus as his Savior and Lord, he went away for 3 years to study and learn.  While we aren’t sure of all that took place during this time, or who Paul was with, he clearly was with people of hope who also trusted in Jesus.  Part of the transformation in my brother in law’s life was that he too spent time with hopeful people.  He spent hours each week in some pretty intense Bible study, and he sought the input from people who became spiritual leaders in his life.  He also walked through it all with my sister and their family.  It was hopeful people around them that made all the difference.

If we want to grow in hope, and increase our faith and trust in God, we need to hang out with hopeful people who place their faith and trust in God.  This doesn’t mean we find perfect people who have already arrived, it means we walk with others on the journey of faith and then learn and grow together.  This is why small groups and being part of a true community is so important.  We need one another to help keep us going in the right direction.  We need one another to give us confidence and courage when things get difficult, and to remind us that our failures are not final.  We need one another to help us forget what lies behind us and keep looking to God’s future for us.  We can’t do it alone.  

3. Hope looks above you. Any real hope for our future will not come from looking around us to the things of this world but from looking above us.  Let’s face it, our government is not going to provide for us.  Our economy is not going to provide for us.  Our healthcare system is not going to provide for us.  If we place our hope in any of these things, or any other system in this world, it will let us down.  Hope for our future comes from looking to God.  

Paul ends this part of his letter with these words.  

Philippians 3:20-21  Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.  

The truth is that we don’t need more of this world to make us more hopeful, and more of this world will not bring us more joy.  What we need is more of Jesus.  We need more faith in Jesus, more trust in the power of God, and more hope in the future God has for us.  None of these things are found by looking around us, they are only found by looking to God.  Instead of looking at the promises that more wealth makes to us, or the promises that our government makes to us, let’s focus on the promises God makes with us.  

This week, I invite you to spend time reflecting on 12 promises of God found in the Bible.  (You can find them in the next steps online or at the connection table.)  Reading, reflecting, and trusting in these promises can help us place more of our hope in God, and the more hope we have in God, the more joy we will experience in life.  It is these promises, and many more, that inspire us, and they help us forget all that lies in the past, and all that we once trusted in, and hoped for, and allows us press on toward the goal, which is to know Christ more.  

The goal is more joy and that comes with more hope, and more faith.  And many times faith and hope only come when we are willing to give up all things for the one thing that is better than all, Jesus Christ.  So let us forget what lies behind and strain toward what is ahead.  Let us press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 

Next Steps

Joyride - Hope

Read Philippians 3:1-11

● What things did Paul give up in order to place all his hope in Christ alone?  

● What things of this world do we often place our hope and trust in?  

● When has God called you to give up all things, or even one thing?  

Hope looks to the future.  Philippians 3:13-14

● What in your past do you need to let go of?

Hope looks beside you.  Philippians 3:17

● How can you connect with more hopeful people?

Hope looks above you.  Philippians 3:20-21

● Use these 12 promises of God to help you find hope in God alone

12 Promise of God

God gives strength to the weary - Isaiah 40:31

God gives us rest - Matthew 11:28-30

God’s love never fails - Isaiah 54:10

God redeems us - Colossians 1:13-14

God fights for us - Exodus 14:13-14

God gives us wisdom - James 1:5

God forgives our sin - 1 John 1:9

God lifts us up - Matthew 23:12

God never forsakes us - Deuteronomy 31:6

God gives us eternal life - John 3:16

God provides for all our needs - Philippians 4:19

God has a plan for our lives - Jeremiah 29:11

Joyride - Humility

This week we are continuing our joyride through the book of Philippians.  As Pastor David shared last week, Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi references joy 16 times in just 104 verses, and his message shares with us how we can get the most joy out of life.  It’s important to remember that Paul wrote about joy while he was sitting in prison, so joy is not determined by our circumstances.  We can be chained up in all kinds of problems but still experience joy because God, who is the source of all joy, is with us.  

Today we are going to talk about something that can not only help us experience more joy in life but can also make us more popular among our friends and more productive at work.  And here is the best news of all - it doesn’t cost a thing and it is available to each and every one of us.  Humility.  

A few weeks ago, Justin gave us a great working definition for humility.  Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less.  While this might be easy to say, it can be difficult to live because in countless little ways we put ourselves first all day.  For example, studies show that the average person checks their phones 150 times a day.  If we spend just 60 seconds checking out the text or notification that comes, we have spent 2 ½ hours of our day simply looking at our phones.    

We have become addicted to our phones.  Many people now openly admit that they are addicted to their phones, and when we hear the chime telling us that we got a text message or email - we have to immediately see who is contacting us.  Even if we are meeting with someone else, or spending time with family and friends, we will set it all aside to see who wants us, or needs us.  

And if we can be honest for a moment, while social media is a great resource because it keeps us all connected and allows us to share our lives and interests with one another in some great ways, it can also consume us.  When we start living for likes, we might not like how we are living.  Because our technology has the ability to turn our hearts inward, we have to guard against this, and one way to do that is to remain focused on humility. 

In Philippians 2, Paul begins to make the connection between humility and joy.  If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.  Philippians 2:1-4

While Paul says we will make his joy complete by being humble, the truth is that our joy will be complete when we are willing to be humble.  One reason that humility brings joy is because we were made to be humble.  Think about Adam and Eve, they were created to be children of God and to surrender themselves to God’s will and love.  What got them in trouble, and what started to make everything fall apart, was that they abandoned humility and gave in to pride and selfish ambition.  It wasn’t enough to be children of God, they wanted to be God. They wanted more for themselves.

Because we have been created to be humble, when we humble ourselves, we experience joy.  And when we see humility in others we are drawn to it and feel a sense of joy.  What many people lament about professional (and even college) sports right now is that so many players make it about themselves.  Many athletes today don’t use their talent and natural ability to elevate a team, or inspire a city, or even lift up a nation like in the Olympics, they simply want to promote themselves.  They use their position to get noticed on instagram, tiktok, and twitter because the more attention they get, the more endorsements they get, and endorsements bring money and power and position.  While these people do have their following, it is often the humble heroes, and those who put team and others over self, that we are drawn to.   

The Olympics are coming up and they often give us amazing stories of humility.  Five years ago at the Olympic Games in Rio, Nikki Hamblin and Abby D’Agostino were competing in the women’s 5,000 meter race.  When Nikki had to slow her pace at the back of the pack, Abby bumped into her and both women went down.  Nikki got up and was about to keep on running when she saw that Abby was hurt so she went back to help her up. (Pic 1)  She said, come on, we have to keep going.  Nikki helped Abby over the finish line (Pic 2).  She was not thinking about herself but of someone else.  What continues to bring joy from this story is that today Nikki Hamblin is a women’s running coach- still helping others up, and Abby is on the Olympic team going to Tokyo.  

It used to be that we looked for and even demanded this kind of humility from our leaders, but no more.  On both sides of the political aisle it seems that the more arrogant and loud and self-serving you are, the farther you can go.  Perhaps it is the lack of humility among our leaders today that has created the division and dissension we experience.  In other words, what we are seeing is that without humility - there is no joy.  

Even in business, studies have shown that it is the humble leader who excels and makes companies succeed.  It is the humble leader who not only experiences joy but shares it with their employees helping them all do better.  Several years ago, there was a great business book written by Jim Collins, called Good to Great.  The book looks at several businesses that went from being good companies to truly great ones and what caused their transformation. While they wanted to exclude top leadership from this evaluation, they realized they couldn’t because what they found is that every great organization had a humble leader.  

The eleven good-to-great CEOs are some of the most remarkable CEOs of the century … The good-to-great leaders never wanted to become larger-than-life heroes. They never aspired to be put on a pedestal or become unreachable icons. They were seemingly ordinary people quietly producing extraordinary results. … It is very important to grasp that Level 5 leadership is not just about humility and modesty. It is equally about ferocious resolve, an almost stoic determination to do whatever needs to be done to make the company great.

Resolve, determination, and a strong desire to succeed are good things.  Ambition is a good thing.  What Paul says is that selfish ambition is bad.  Selfish ambition, when we only care about ourselves and getting what we want, when we are determined to put our ways and our wants first, that is what will destroy a company, or a team, or a marriage, or our nation. While it seems like we would experience more joy when we get what we want, the reality is that we experience more joy when we give to others and work to lift everyone else up.  

Humility can make us more productive at work, and it can make us more popular because humility lifts others up and makes others grateful.  We all want to be around humble people who work to lift us up.  Thinking less of ourselves and putting others first is one thing we can all do to not only increase joy in others, but add joy to our own lives.  Paul goes on in his letter to show us exactly what humility looks like, and as you might guess, it looks like Jesus.  

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!  Philippians 2:5-8

This is perhaps one of the oldest New Testament passages we have and it is called the Christ Hymn because we believe it was the words of a psalm or hymn that people used in the worship of the risen Jesus.  Literally, people were singing about the virtues of humility that were seen in Jesus and they were calling upon themselves and others to embrace that same mind, heart, and spirit.  

Jesus was truly humble.  Jesus was God, but He was willing to limit Himself and enter into this world as a human being.  He gave up the glory and power of heaven to come into this world.  And even as a man in this world, Jesus was willing to not be served but to serve, and not to surround Himself with riches, but with people who needed Him.  

Being humble isn’t easy.  We all want the recognition of being great, and we want the accolades of others, but all of that is fleeting.  Wealth and power and position don’t last, but the joy we feel when we are humble and serve others does.  It not only lasts but it lifts us up.  When we are humble, God lifts us up.  

We were created to be humble so we can make intentional choices every day to grow in humility.  Let me share three of these choices with you.  

1. Sit with the lowly.  This is what Jesus did.  Jesus didn’t stay seated at the right hand of God in heaven, He chose to come to the earth and literally sit with us.  Jesus did not consider equality with God as something to be held on to.  He gave up all He had in heaven to sit with us on earth. 

Once here on earth, Jesus again chose to sit with the lowly.  Jesus didn’t sit with kings, high priests and religious rulers on thrones of power, He sat with children, fishermen, tax collectors, and sinners.  Jesus chose to sit with the lowly and He gives us an example of humility that we can choose to follow.  Who will we choose to sit with this week?  

At work, is there someone who needs some encouragement or support, someone that no one else gives much time to but needs someone in their corner?  How can you sit with them this week?  

Who are those who are often overlooked and forgotten in our community?  How can we sit with them this week?  

How about sitting with some children at VBS, or sitting with some of our homebound members?  If you fill out the opportunity card we can help you find wonderful seats where you will experience joy.  

2. Take a back seat.  While we all might want to ride shotgun through life, what might it look like to take the back seat.  Jesus didn’t elevate himself, He gave everything to elevate us.  He took a back seat, He died on the cross, so that our sins could be forgiven and so we could be lifted into the presence of God.  

In your marriage, what would it look like to elevate your spouse's needs before your own?  At work, can you help promote the work of someone else and let them shine?  Even here at the church, are you willing to take a back seat for someone else?  In many churches it is the back seats that are coveted, so taking a back seat might mean moving up front, or to the center of the aisles. 

David shared last week how so many of you were willing to take a back seat when we returned to worship this Easter.  Many of you took a back seat and moved to the cafe so that others could have a seat here, and what many of you found by taking a back seat was joy.  You truly enjoyed worship in the cafe!

 3. Serve beneath your status.  Jesus served beneath his status.  Again, Jesus was God in the flesh, He had all the power of heaven in his hands and yet it was Jesus who washed the feet of his disciples when no one else wanted to do that job.  At work, are you willing to take on the tasks that no one else wants to?  At home, can you do the chores that no one else wants to do?  And what about the church?

At my church in Altoona, a man came to me one week and said, do you know that there has been a piece of paper under the pew in front of me for the past several weeks.  Our custodian must not be doing a good job.  I wanted to say to him, did you ever think of picking it up yourself?  That work was below his status.  

What I love about Faith Church is that so many people are willing to serve in lowly positions.  When we first opened up for worship after the pandemic it was our church leaders who committed to wiping down the sanctuary after each service.  When I spoke to other pastors who said their churches wanted to open up but no one wanted to clean after worship, I could say, it’s my leaders who are doing it.  

Maybe this is why there is so much joy here at Faith Church, because we have learned how to sit with the lowly, take a back seat, and serve beneath our status.  These practices not only bring us joy, but they spread joy and instill joy in others.  We make our joy complete when we embrace humility.  

If you want to experience more joy, and if you want more of the power and love and adventure of life, pick one of these three activities and practice humility this week.  Humility will make us more popular, it will make us more productive, and it will provide joy in ways that nothing else can. Humble yourself before the Lord, the Bible says, and when we do, God will lift us up.  

Next Steps

Joyride - Humility

Read Philippians 2:1-18

When has being humble brought you joy?  

When has the humility you have seen or experienced in others brought you joy?

What stories of humility have inspired you to be humble?

The “Christ Hymn” (verses 6-8), outline the humility that is seen in Jesus.  How does this humility inspire you to follow His example?  What can you do this week to follow Jesus’ example and humble yourself?  

Three ways to practice humility:

1. Sit with the lowly

2. Take a back seat

3. Serve beneath your status

How did Jesus set the example of humility in each area?

When have you seen this kind of humility?

What one specific way can you practice this kind of humility this week?

The promise of humility is that God WILL lift you up.  See James 4:10.  Thank God for this promise and the joy that comes with humility.  

More Aware - Less Oblivious

We certainly do want to wish all the Dads out there a Happy Father’s Day, and I want to be clear that we did not choose the theme for today’s message with you in mind.  This month we are talking about how to improve our relationships because the thing about relationships is that they are important.  We were created for a relationship with God, and we were emotionally wired to be in relationship with one another, so it’s important for those relationships to be as healthy as they can be.  Today we want to talk about how to be more aware and less oblivious and we didn’t choose this for today because we think that Dads are oblivious to the things and people around them, but…  

Dads, have you ever gotten in trouble for not noticing when your wife or children got their hair cut, or were wearing new clothes?  Have you ever come home and not noticed that your family has worked hard to clean the house or clean up the yard?  Have you been oblivious to the family schedule and missed birthdays or anniversaries?  Sometimes we are all oblivious to the details that mean so much to others and it is important to be more aware of what is going on in our homes and with our families.  We need to take the time to notice what is going on in others so that they feel valued and important, but that is not the kind of awareness we want to focus on today.  What we want to look at is the importance of being self-aware.  

We will be better in our relationships with other people, all other people, when we have a better understanding of ourselves.  We have all been created in very unique ways and the more aware we are of how we think, and act, and relate with others, the healthier our relationships will be.  A great example of this are my parents.  My Dad is a classic introvert.  It’s not that he is shy or quiet, but he needs time alone to recharge.  After working as a chaplain in a large hospital all day, he needed to come home and quietly read the paper or watch TV.  

My Mom, on the other hand, is an extrovert.  After a long day of teaching 2nd graders you might think she would want some peace and quiet, but she wanted to be around other people and be engaged in activity.  Instead of staying home in the evenings, my Mom sang in the choir, played bells in the bell choir, served on different committees at the church, and was the secretary for her teachers association and a beach association.  She got recharged by being around others.  

You might think that two people like this just wouldn’t be able to stay together, but my parents have been married for 66 years this past week because they were both aware of who they were and what they needed.  They were also aware of who the other one was and what they needed.  My Dad was fine having my Mom out every evening getting involved in things because he knew she needed that, and my Mom was ok having my Dad stay home because she knew he needed that.  They both were aware of how they were created and what they needed to be healthy, and they knew what the other needed as well.  

Not only is it important to be aware of how we were created and what we need in life and how all of this impacts our relationship with others, we also need to be aware of our own brokenness and sin.  Part of self-awareness is being honest with ourselves when we fail and being willing to confess our sin to God.  Without this kind of self-awareness, sin gets a foothold in our life and leads to greater problems and pain.  We see this happen in the life of King David.  

David was a man chosen by God to be King of Israel and after years of struggle and conflict, David finally was established as the King and began ruling in Jerusalem.  Everything was going well for David until he had an affair with the wife of one of his officers.  Instead of confessing this sin and being honest about his failure, David tried to cover it up.  When several attempts to hide his sin failed, David had the woman’s husband killed and took Bathsheba as his wife.  David’s lack of self awareness, his lack of honesty about his failures and his inability to see and confess his sin, led to greater problems.  Adultery led to murder.  

To help David open his eyes and be aware of all that was going on in his life, God sent the prophet Nathan to speak to David.  Nathan told David this story:  2 Samuel 11:1b-9a

There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.

“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”

David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”

Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own.

Being aware of our sin and failures so we can confess them to God and rise above them is so important that God sent Nathan to open David’s eyes.  When David became aware of his failures, he repented of his sin and gave us one of the most powerful psalms we have, Psalm 51.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.  Psalm 51:1-3

David was only able to ask God for mercy and forgiveness because he became aware of his sin and failures.  We will never get to the place of asking God for his mercy and forgiveness until we are also able to acknowledge our sin.  To be able to see and confess our sin takes self-awareness.  We need to look honestly at our lives and own up to our weaknesses and failures so we can turn and ask God for the mercy and strength needed to help us overcome them.  

I invite you this week to read those first few verses of Psalm 51 and ask God to open your eyes and the eyes of your heart.  May we become aware of our transgressions and sin so that we can confess them to God and ask for His mercy to wash us clean and make us new.  Being made new not only puts us in a right relationship with God, but it restores so many of our relationships with others.  This forgiveness and new life is the amazing gift we have in Jesus when we are willing to ask God for his mercy and grace.  

While being more aware of our brokenness and sin is vital to our lives and relationships, so is being more aware of our gifts and strengths.  I am a firm believer that we need to build on our strengths and not just focus on our weaknesses.  One way we can be more aware of our strengths and all the ways we live in relationship with God and others is to evaluate our faith.  

Several years ago we began to talk about how our faith needs to be lived out in three primary relationships, a relationship with God, the church, and the world.  These three relationships are what we see in Jesus.  Jesus had a deep and abiding relationship with God, He formed a strong relationship with His followers, the church, and Jesus reached out to bless all those around Him in the world.  For us to think about living more like Jesus, these are the 3 relationships we need to focus on.  

One way we can be more aware of who we are in these 3 primary relationships is to take the spiritual health assessment.  You can find a link to this assessment in the next steps and even if you have taken it before, I encourage you to take it again because it is a great way to help us be more aware of who we are today.  What are the strengths that we can build on?  What rhythms are fueling our relationship with God and others?  How can we expand on these rhythms?  Where might we want to grow?  

Each of the 3 relationships expands into 5 rhythms that are vital to our faith and the spiritual assessment helps us understand which rhythms we are doing well in and where we might want to focus some attention.  Whether we choose to build on our strengths or grow in our areas of weakness, being aware of what is going on in our relationships is the first step.  Let me show you how this works.  

A few years ago I took the assessment and in my relationship with the church, this is what it looked like:  

1. Service 20/20

2. Community 18/20

3. Family 18/20

4. Accountability 13/20

5. Generosity 13/20

The numbers aren’t important, it’s the ranking of the rhythms we want to look at.  Service is one of the primary rhythms of my relationship with people in the church which makes sense.  Since I am a pastor, much of my time and energy is focused on serving in the body of Christ.  I then looked at the lowest two rhythms, accountability and generosity, and reflected on what this meant for me.  

Accountability.  One of the questions they ask us to reflect on is: Do I earnestly and honestly seek feedback in different areas of my life?  To be honest, no, I don’t.  Who really wants to hear that? Who wants to be accountable to others?  But like King David, would it be good for me to get that kind of feedback so I can be more aware of those blind spots in my life?  Yes.  More accountability would be good.

I then looked at one of the reflection questions for generosity.  Do I intentionally live below my financial means so I can give more to God?   While I see myself as a faithful and cheerful giver, I had to ask myself if I really look to live below my means so I can bless others.  As I honestly thought through both of these questions, there were moments of self-awareness that have moved me to consider how to be more faithful to God and others in my life.  

The 3 Relationships assessment and the information we can get on the important rhythms of our life is a great way to become more aware of who we are, how God has created us and shaped us, and how we can be more faithful in all of our relationships.  I would invite you to take the assessment this week, or take it again, and reflect on the rhythms of your life and faith.  The more aware we are of what is going on in our lives, the healthier all of our relationships will be.  

While the 3 Relationships is a great place to start, there are many great resources out there to help us be more aware of who we are.  There are personality tests you can take online like Meyers Briggs and the enneagram which can help us be more aware of how we interact with others.  There is also a great book called the 5 Love Languages which might help you be more aware of how you look to give and receive love in your marriage.  There is an online assessment you can take for this and you can find links to all this material in the next steps.  

Later this year we are also going to provide an opportunity for you to discover your spiritual gifts.  The Bible tells us that when we ask the Holy Spirit to enter our hearts and lives, the Spirit brings unique gifts to each of us.  

Romans 12:6-8 We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

These are just some of the spiritual gifts the Bible talks about and the more aware we become of the specific gifts God has given to us, the more we can use them to serve God and build up others in the church.  Once again, the more aware we are of how God has created us and how the Holy Spirit has gifted us, the stronger all of our relationships will be.  

We really will be stronger in our relationship with God, our family, the church, our friends, neighbors, and coworkers when we are more aware of who we are and how we live.  We need to be aware of our failures and sin and confess those to God so they don’t become stumbling blocks in other areas of our life, but we need to be aware of our strengths, and gifts, and the rhythms of our life and faith so we can use these to their full advantage and be all that God has called us and created us to be.  The more self aware we are, the stronger all our relationships will be.  And the thing about relationships is that they are important, they are vital to our lives and faith.  

 

Next Steps

More Aware - Less Oblivious

When have you been oblivious or blind to changes that were made around you?  Why did you not notice?  

Self-awareness: we will be better with others when we have a better understanding of ourselves, both our sins and our strengths.

Read 2 Samuel 11:1-12:15

● How did David’s lack of awareness about his sin lead to more problems?  

● Why is it important for us to be aware of our sin and confess it to God?

● What blind spot do you have in your life when it comes to failures, weakness, and sin?  

● Where would some “self-awareness” help strengthen your relationship with others?  

Read Psalm 51 and ask God to help become more aware of your own sin and brokenness.  Confess this sin to God.  

To help you become more aware of how God has created you and gifted you, and how you are living in relationship with God, the church, and the world, check out these resources.  

3 Relationships:

5 Love Languages:  

Meyers Briggs: 

The Enneagram:

More Present - Less Distant

During the month of June we celebrate a lot of people.  This week we celebrated many young adults as they graduated from High School, and in a few weeks we will celebrate our Dad’s on Father’s Day.  June is also a month when we celebrate a lot of couples because June used to be THE month to get married.  My parents were married in June 66 years ago and for anyone who has been married more than 60 years, or even 6 years, you know there is a lot of work that goes into relationships.  This month we are going to look at how to strengthen relationships in our families, at work, among our friends, as well as in the church and our community by looking at how God is in relationship with us.  The thing about relationships is that they are vital to our well-being.  Relationships are fundamental to who we are because we were created for relationships.   

In the creation story it says that we were created in God’s image and if we think about God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we see that at God’s core there is a relationship, and so to be created in God’s image means that at our core, we were created for relationships.  First and foremost we were created to be in a relationship with God.  God created us to walk in the garden with Him and to share in all the fullness and joy of life with Him, but we were also created to live in relationship with other people.  

Again, in the creation story, after God created Adam, He looked at him and said, it’s not good for man to be alone, so God created a partner for Adam.  We were created for love and companionship.  We were created for family and community.  We were created for relationships and this is true for everyone.  Whether you are married, have never been married, are divorced or widowed, young or old, each of us need healthy relationships with other people to experience the fullness and joy of life, so let’s look at how to strengthen these relationships.  

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that the most powerful and important part of any relationship is to be present with others.  While zoom and facetime and phone calls are good, and we have learned to livestream everything from weddings to funerals to birthday parties, nothing can replace the power of in-person relationships.  Not only do we need to be held and hugged for our physical and emotional well-being, actually, we need that physical touch to survive, we also learn so much about others through facial expressions and body language.  All of our relationships will be stronger if we will be fully present with others, and we see the importance and power of presence when we look at God’s relationship with us.    

All through history God has been present with His people.  God walked with Adam and Eve in the garden.  God was present when He spoke to Abraham and called him to leave his home and walk with Him into a new land.  When God led the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt and into that Promised Land, God was with them.  God used a pillar of fire at night and a cloud by day to not only guide the people but to be a physical reminder that God was with them.  One of the promises that God makes over and over again in scripture is that He will always be with us.   

Psalm 139:7-12 says, 

Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?  If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.  If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

God is always with us.  There is no place we can go where God does not go with us.  God is present with us at all times and in all places, and even if we don’t feel God close by, or experience His presence, God is there.  As we look at the different ways God has been present with his people, we see God with us in 3 distinct ways:  God over us, God with us, and God in us.  

God over us is the God we see in the creation story.  This is God the Father who not only created the world but then watched over the world to protect it and provide for it.  God over us is the God who saw His people hungry so He gave them food.  He saw them thirsty so brought forth water from a rock.  God over us is the God who fought for His people in battles but also settled them into the Promised Land.  God is over us as a father and mother are over their children, God is there to provide for us and protect us, but for God, just being over His children was not enough.  God wanted a deeper and more personal relationship so He came to be with us.  

God with us is what we celebrate in jesus.  In Matthew 1:23, Joseph was told that Mary was going to give birth to the son of God and His name was to be Emmanuel, which means God is with us.  God was no longer going to simply watch over His children and provide for them, God was now going to actually come in human form and walk with them.  In Jesus, God walked with people, and all of the relationships that Jesus had with people were defined by a love that wasn't expressed in words alone but in service and sacrifice.  

Jesus never kept his distance from people but was willing to literally be present with them.  Children had little to no status in Jesus’ day and no one spent time with them, but Jesus called them to come and sit with Him.  Jesus went to the places where the sinners and outcasts lived to show His love for them.  In face to face conversations, Jesus forgave people and called them to a better life.  Jesus loved people in ways that gave their life new meaning and it was His touch that helped the lame to walk and the blind to see.  Jesus served the people of His day and His love gave them new life, but then Jesus sacrificed Himself for all people by taking the sin of the world to the cross.  

In Jesus, God not only walked with us but God took upon Himself the penalty and consequence of our sin so that we could be forgiven.  It’s that forgiveness that not only set us into a right relationship with God, but it helps strengthen our relationships with one another.  God’s presence with us in Jesus changed our lives and it changed our relationship with God and others forever.  

When God’s presence over us wasn’t enough, God came to be with us.  God’s presence with us changed everything, but there was still more to come, God in us.  Before Jesus ascended into heaven, He said,   I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.  John 14:16-17

Did you hear that?  God doesn’t just live with us but IN us and God dwells in us through the gift of the Holy Spirit.  Now I’ll be honest, most of the time I don’t feel like the God who created the world and raised Jesus from the dead is at work in me, but God is.  When I find the strength to do more than I ever thought I could, that’s the power of God in me.  When I find comfort in times of deep pain or loss - that is God at work in me.  When I feel convicted to stand up for what is right against all odds - that is God in me.  And when I feel convicted of my own sin to the point of brokenness and tears and then confess that sin to God - that is also God in me.  God is at work in us to do all that needs to be done so that we can be all God wants us to be.   

God’s presence is over us and it is with us and it is in us and this is a model of how we can be present with others.  At times we need to be present to watch over and care for others.  Young children, older parents, and those who are the most vulnerable in our community need us to watch over them and care for them.  And let’s be honest, there are times we need others to watch over and care for us. 

 We also need to be present with people and literally walk with others in service and maybe even sacrifice.  Children and youth need the physical presence of parents, which is why the foster parent program is so important.  When biological parents aren’t there or can’t be there, we need to walk with children and love them.  But it’s not just children, it’s all of us, we need the presence of others in our lives if we are going to be healthy and whole.  Studies continue to show that social isolation leads to physical and emotional decline and again 2020 has shown us that we really do need and want others present with us.    

We need to be present over others and with others, but what about in others.  OK, there is no way someone can be physically present in us, but there are other ways their presence can be an ongoing part of our lives.  Have you ever had a coach, teacher, or youth leader who inspired you growing up and you can still hear their words of encouragement?  Maybe you had a parent or grandparent that you could always count on and you can still hear their voice?  These were the people who told you that you could do more than you thought you could.  They were the ones who said, I believe in you and that voice still motivates you.  I had youth leaders in my church who believed in me and they were the ones who told me I was a leader who needed to stand firm when I wanted to run away.  I still hear their voices at times and it encourages me, it literally it gives me courage, to keep going.  They live in me and their love and support is still at work in me.  

It might seem odd, but I often use part of 1 Corinthians 13 at funerals.  While we typically think of the Love Chapter being read at weddings, there are a few verses that need to be heard when someone we love dies.  It says, love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.  When love has been present in our lives in powerful ways, it doesn’t end, it remains in us.  It’s the voice we hear, the encouragement we need, and the comfort that heals.  The love of others is their presence in us that never ends.  

Again, God’s presence with us can be a model for all of our relationships.  We can be present and watch over others.  We can be present with people and walk with them in love.  We can be present in people by making sure our words and love will empower them not only today but in all the days to come, but being present in any and all of these ways means more than simply being in the same room with them, it means being available and intentional.  

Just as 2020 taught us the power of being present with others, it has also given us lots of opportunities to learn how to be present without really being present.  If you have used zoom, or any other virtual platform for a meeting, then you know what I’m talking about.  We can be present in a meeting but with our microphone off, we don’t have to be listening at all, in fact we can be doing 100 other things at the same time.  We have learned how to look like we are present without being present at all.  And you have all probably been at a family gathering where at some point you looked around and saw everyone either watching TV or looking at their phones and tablets.  We are in the same space with others but we are not fully present.  

Last week, Justin talked about how much attention we give to others when we are dating.  We not only spend a lot of time getting ready for a date but when we are together we actually listen to what is being said.  A recent study found that couples who are engaged spend about 15 hours a week talking.  They make it a priority.  They are not only learning about each other but they are sharing their hopes and dreams.  They make plans together, they set goals together, and they work on their relationship together.   Any idea how much time married couples spend talking to one another?  2 hours a week.  You can’t be fully present with others in 2 hours a week.  We need to be more available and intentional if our relationships are going to be healthy.  

So it’s time we look to God and learn how to be more present and less distant so that all of our relationships can be stronger.  Let me give you 3 quick suggestions on how to be more present and less distant in your marriage, with your family, and even among your friends.  

1. Every day have one meal together without screens.  No TV, no phones, no tablets.  Just face to face conversation. 

2. Every week spend one evening with no netflix, no sports, and no TV.  Instead, engage in an activity together like a game, or a walk, or making s’mores at the fire pit.  Spend time laughing, sharing, and talking to one another. 

3. Every month set aside one day to do something together (and going to a movie doesn’t count, a movie is just a giant screen that you look at together).  Serve together, help a neighbor together, take a hike, go on a picnic, but do something together. 

God did not create the world and then remove Himself from it, God is not distant from His children but present with us.  God’s presence with us is a model for how we should be in relationship with others.  When we are fully present with others, those relationships will be stronger and healthier.  

 

Next Steps

More Present - Less Distant

How did the covid shutdowns and limitations of 2020 impact your relationship with others?  How did virtual meeting platforms like zoom help or hurt your ability to be present?  

God has promised to be present with us: Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 139, Isaiah 41:10, Zephaniah 3:17. Matthew 1:23 & 28:20, John 14:16-17, Romans 8:38-39, I Corinthians 3:16

Through history God has been present in 3 main ways

● To watch over us

● To walk with us

● To live in us 

How have you experienced God’s presence in these ways?  Where would you like to experience more of God’s presence?  

God’s presence with us is a model for how we can be present with others.  How can you be present:

● To watch over others (to provide and protect them)

● To walk with others (to serve and sacrifice for them)

● To live in others (to encourage)

How has the presence of others helped you in these ways?  

Which relationship in your life needs the healing touch of God’s presence and the focus of your presence?  

3 Ways to be more present

1. Daily - Commit to one meal with NO SCREENS

2. Weekly - Set aside one evening with NO SCREENS

3. Month - schedule one day for a “day date”.  Engage in an activity together with family or friends that encourages personal interaction.