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One
day my sister and I took my nephew who was about 3 or 4 at the time to the
Potawotimi Zoo in South Bend, Indiana. I
pushed my nephew’s stroller into an exhibit and stood before a glass display
which looked to me like a black empty wall.
I kept asking “what is this, I don’t see anything” and then all of a sudden my
eyes kind of re-focused and I realized that it wasn’t an empty wall because the
entire
wall was moving. It was a
wall of bats.
When I realized
this the hair on the back of my neck stood straight out, I broke out into a
cold sweat and just started backing up.
I literally backed right out of the display building dragging my nephew’s
stroller with me. I could hear my sister
reading the display board, but I was out of there. And thus began my fear of bats. I actually thought about showing a video of bats
in an attic that I found and it was just 40 seconds long, but as I watched it after
about 10 seconds I got kind of freaked out so I chose not to do that today.
Now
this fear of bats is completely irrational.
I have never been attacked by a bat or bitten by a bat. I have never had a bat in any house I have
ever lived in (that I know of) and I know that bats are really good for the
environment because they eat lots of mosquitoes, but I can’t stand them. I had friends in Lewisburg whose attic was
filled with hundreds and hundreds of bats.
I was at their home for a cook-out and at dusk when the bats started
coming out I had to leave. They all
laughed as I drove away – but I still drove away. It is a completely irrational fear – but it
is a fear none the less.
What
are your greatest fears? Fear of the
dark? Fear of needles? I used to laugh at Chris Ramish who would
volunteer to help at the blood drives but couldn’t get near any of the tables
or the people donating blood because he would faint at the sight of needles. Maybe
it is a fear of snakes like my Mom or a fear of that monster that as kids we
knew lived under the bed or in the closet.
Two
of the most common fears people experience are the fear of flying and the fear
of public speaking. I think I have the
public speaking thing taken care of, and just to assure all of you, my
discomfort with international travel is not a fear of flying, but it is a fear
of the unknown and fear of not being in control. Anyone have those fears? Now fear itself is not always a bad
thing. Fear can be healthy because it can
work to keep us safe. A few years ago I
was hiking and while I don’t have a fear of heights or looking over cliffs, I
was a little freaked out by this one man who kept going closer and closer to
the edge of a waterfall. The rocks were
smooth and slick but he had no fear of slipping and falling, for him maybe some
healthy fear would have been a good thing.
I know if he had some healthy fear of falling over the edge it would
have been good for the rest of us.
So
sometimes fear can keep us safe. My fear
of bats has kept me safe from getting rabies or worse yet, being turned into a
vampire. All kidding aside, fear can help
keep us safe, but when fear takes over or when it is irrational and we can’t
overcome it, it becomes toxic and has the ability to destroy us and the life
God wants for us. For example, we teach
our children to fear a hot stove and busy streets and strangers, but if we
never overcome these fears and they become toxic in our lives, we will never
learn to cook, drive a car or make new friends.
So fear can be healthy but toxic fear can destroy us.
In
his book Soul Detox, Craig Groeschel says that many of our fears can be
placed into four categories:
fear
of loss,
fear of failure,
fear of rejection
fear of the unknown.
I don’t know about you, but there are times I
can relate to each one of these fears. The
fear of loss can be the loss of a loved one or the loss of a job. That loss of a job can lead to new fears because
we start thinking about losing our financial security. This has been a real fear we have wrestled
with recently because of the economic situation we have seen in our community. With all the issues of Penn State these past
few years there has been some real fear about the loss of the football program
which in so many ways is important to our community. This past week when scholarships were
returned to the program, those fears were eased a bit which meant the fear of
loss was a very real fear to begin with.
The
fear of failure is destructive because it can hold us back from
experiencing many good things in life. Answer
this question, what things would you try today if you weren’t afraid you’d
fail? If you are a student, would you
try out for the basketball team or district band? What jobs have you not applied for because
you just didn’t think you could do them?
Many times these fears come from toxic words we have heard our entire
lives, like “you aren’t good enough to make
the team”, or “you aren’t smart
enough for to go for that job.”
Those toxic words need to be overcome first if we are going to overcome the
fears those words bring.
The
fear of rejection is really a fear of failure in a relationship because the
most painful rejections are those that are personal. This fear keeps many of us from life giving
relationships and experiences God may want for us. This might seem trivial, but when I was in
high school I didn’t go to my senior prom because I was afraid of
rejection. I actually did ask a girl to
the prom… but it was the day of the prom!
Yeah, I know – not cool right, but you see I was afraid she would have
said no so I didn’t ask her earlier. If
I had, she would have gone with me. Rejection
is a powerful fear that keeps us from stepping out not only in relationships
but in many different ways in our lives.
It’s a toxic fear that holds us back so we need to learn to overcome it.
And
then there is the fear of the unknown.
In many ways this fear ties into the other three because when we
experience any kind of loss it opens the door to an unknown future. What will life be like if I lose my job or
lose my spouse? And failure leads to the
unknown. If I try something and fail
will it open the door to greater ridicule or pain? Will it lead to deeper failure? And rejection can lead to the unknown. Will we be able to survive the pain and hurt
of people not loving us in return?
Fear
of the unknown can hold us back in many ways.
When I shared my fear about international travel, what I was talking
about was this fear of the unknown. What
happens when I’m in different country or culture and need to go to the
bathroom? What do I say? What do I do?
Where do I go? I know it seems
silly, but it is these kinds of fears that hold us back in life. If this kind of fear takes over, if it
becomes toxic, it keeps us from the life we want to live and the life God wants
for us. So let’s talk about how to
overcome these fears.
One
of the things we often hear is that fear is a lack of faith, but Craig
Groeschel says that maybe fear isn’t the lack of faith but faith in the wrong
things. When we are afraid in any given situation
what we are doing is placing more faith in the what-if than the God-is. A great example of this is Moses.
Moses
had a personal encounter with the living God in the burning bush, actually it
wasn’t a burning bush but a bush that looked like it was on fire but actually
was not. Now, that’s impressive. If God can make a bush look like it’s on fire
when it is not, I think I might do what God asked me to do. While Moses had faith in God, at that moment
he had more faith in the “what-if”, look
at Exodus 3:13. Here’s the what-if, “God, what if they ask me who
you are?” Moses was afraid of failure and rejection and the unknown and
while he had faith in God, he had more faith in the what-ifs. Those questions
fed his fear.
To
help Moses out, God actually gave Moses his name so he could tell the people exactly
who it was who sent him. So now Moses
has seen the power of God in the burning bush – or the bush that looks like it
is on fire but is not – and he has the name of God which in and of itself is
powerful so this should have been enough for Moses to move forward, right? Wrong, twice more we see that Moses placed
more faith in the what-if, the
questions that fed his fears, than the God who was with him. Look at Exodus
4:1 and 4:10
What if they still don’t believe me? What if I don’t say the right things? By focusing on those what-ifs, Moses continues to be tied up in fear and when we focus
on the what-ifs we are also allowing our fear of failure, fear of rejection and
fear of the unknown to shape our lives.
Now before we just toss aside these what-if questions, it is important
to look at them because they teach us something about ourselves. If we look at all of Moses’ questions to God
we realize that what Moses valued was being seen and accepted as a leader who
had the authority and power of God. That’s
not bad, Moses really wanted to be successful for God, he wanted to do God’s
will but his own insecurity and fear was holding him back. Moses didn’t want to fail. That was his fear. What is our fear?
If
we examine our what-ifs we might
begin to learn what it is that we fear most.
When I didn’t ask Cheryl to the prom, it was a fear of being rejected
and a fear of being hurt. When I think
twice about travelling to Israel or Sierra Leone, it is a fear of the unknown
and not being in control. Understanding
what it is we fear is important because it shows us where we trust God the
least. I didn’t trust God to be there
for me in times of rejection and at times I still don’t trust God to be there
in unknown situations that are beyond my control.
Being
able to name these toxic fears is important because these fears don’t come from
God because God does not give us a spirit of fear. 2
Timothy 1:7 says, God did not
give us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self discipline. So toxic fear is not from and God and in fact
it gets in the way of what God wants to do in our lives, so we need to offer
these fears to God. This is what King
David did so well.
David
was called by God to be the king of Israel; the only problem was that there was
already a king in Israel, Saul. So for
many years as David was rising up in leadership and power, Saul fought against
him. Eventually Saul issued a decree
that David should be hunted down and killed.
Think about it, all the resources of the kingdom of Israel were given
over to the extermination of one man, David.
This was the reality of David’s life and this caused some real fear for him
and we see this identified and recorded in many of David’s writings. Look at Psalm
56:1-6.
Everyone
is out for David. Everyone is watching
his steps and trying to get him and David clearly states all of this to God but
then David doesn’t place his faith in the what-ifs. David doesn’t spend his time saying, “what if they get me” and “what if they kill
me”, he offers his fear to God. In God I
trust I am not afraid. We hear this
again in Psalm 34:4.
What
David does so well is identify his fear and offer it to God. Can we name our fears? Can we sit down and say, God, here is what’s happening, I’m afraid to try out for the team
because I’m afraid people will laugh at me and tease me. I’m afraid of going
for that new job because I just might get it and then might not be able to do
the work. God I’m afraid that I will not
have enough money for retirement which is why I’m not giving more or trusting
you with what I have today. We have
to name the fear before we can give it to God, so we need to spend some time
thinking about the what-if’s but then offer those fears to God which in turn
help us focus on the God who is.
And
that is the second thing that helps us overcome our toxic fears, not just
focusing on God but actually pursuing God and asking Him for strength. One of the most powerful ways we pursue God
is through prayer and worship. When we
call out to God, he is there. When we
gather to worship God – he is here.
Jesus said that where two or more gather in his name he will be there
which means that Jesus is here today to take away our fear and fill us with power
and peace.
We
can also find God and overcome fear by reading God’s word. There are at least 365 fear not passages in the Bible which means that every day we could
open the Bible and find a verse that tells us to not be afraid and it is those
healthy life giving words that overcome toxic words and toxic fears. When we seek God in prayer, worship and his
word we will find him and when we offer him our fears he will deliver us from them. So this week let’s explore what it is that
causes us the most fear and let’s explore those what-ifs that keep us from
God. Once we can name those fears, we
can offer them to God and then with open hands we can receive the fullness of
what God has to offer us which is a spirit of power and strength and
peace. Fear not, for God is. God is with us.
Next Steps
Soul Detox ~ Toxic Fear
1. What are the fears you struggle with the
most?
·
Fear
of Loss
·
Fear
of Failure
·
Fear
of Rejection
·
Fear
of the Unknown
·
How
have you experienced these fears in the past?
In what
specific ways do struggle with these fears today?
Can you
name the fear that holds you back the most?
2. What the “what-ifs”
that terrorize your heart and mind?
What do
these questions reveal about what you value the most and where you trust God
the least?
3. What are you not trusting God with
today?
4. What specific tool can you use this week to
deepen your faith and trust in God?
·
Prayer
·
Worship
·
Reading
the Bible
·
Becoming
part of a small group or Bible study
·
Sharing
with other Christians
5. Commit to memory Psalm 34:4
