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To
help us understand the importance of this new sermon series we need to
understand something about frogs.
Yes frogs.
If you place a frog into a kettle of boiling water it will immediately jump
out because it recognizes that the environment is hostile and life
threatening.
If you take that same
frog and place him in a kettle of room temperature water it will
stay there and be quite content.
If you place
that kettle on the stove and turn the heat on low and then slowly, very slowly,
turn the heat up - the frog will continue to remain in the kettle quite content
until he is quite dead. The problem is
that the frog never feels his environment around him, the water, changing and
becoming hostile so he never works to get out.
This is what is happening with us.
We
are the frogs living in the kettle and the culture in which we live is the
water. We know that our culture has
changed and not for the better, the stove has been turned on, but the heat is
rising so slowly, changes are taking place so slowly that we have grown content
with the way things are. As we see
changes that we may not like we say, “it’s
just a generational thing”, “it’s
just how kids are today.” “There is nothing we can do to change this so
we might as well go along with it.”
With this attitude, over the last 50 years we have gone from this...
 |
| Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show |
to this...
This is a picture of Miley Cyrus twerking on TV but the picture was so
vulgar and inappropriate that this was all I could show you. The water around us is boiling, the
environment is hostile to our and faith and our lives, but we have grown used
to is so we don’t do anything about it. In
his book Soul Detox, Craig Groeschel says,
We
know something doesn’t feel quite right.
We are not growing closer to God and following Christ the way we would
like, but we can’t put our finger on it.
Even though we believe in God and want to please him, we find it hard to
serve him passionately and consistently.
We want to move forward spiritually but feel like we’re running against
the wind. We want more – we know there’s
more – but we just can’t seem to find it.
If
this sounds like where you are living today, if you take one step forward in
your faith only to fall two steps back a week later, you are not alone. Most of us feel this way. Instead of moving closer to God we often feel
ourselves moving farther away from God and we know that the world in which we
live is not helping, but we aren’t quite sure what to do about it. Because we live in such a toxic environment, I
am excited and hopeful about this sermon series because the goal of this series
is to help us identify the hot water and learn how to jump out. For the next six weeks we are going to
explore how toxic fears, relationships, beliefs, our culture and unhealthy comparisons
we make in life hold us back from experiencing more of our faith and more of
the life God wants for us and then we will look at some biblical and practical
ways to come clean. Today, we are going
to start by looking at how toxic words are slowly tearing us down and what we
can do about them.
There
is a well meaning phrase that we used to teach children because we thought it
helped overcome negative words and name calling, but it is a statement that is
fundamentally untrue. You know the
phrase, it begins, sticks and stones may
break my bones… (but names can never
hurt me). Now we all know this is
not true. Names hurt and if names and
hurtful words are said over and over and over again, they not only tear us down
but they shape the way we see ourselves and begin to define we are.
For
many years as I was growing up, this is what I heard, fatty, fatty 2 X 4, can’t fit through the bathroom door. I heard that and many other names because I
was overweight. I was picked last for
every team in gym class and overall bullied and teased about being fat. Those words have shaped my life. People don’t understand me when I say this,
but I still think of myself and see myself as being fat. While I have spent 35 of my 50 years not
being overweight, because the first 15 years I was and heard about it almost
daily – it has fundamentally shaped how I perceive myself.
Words
and names have power, the Bible makes this clear. Look at Proverbs 18:21, 12:18, 15:4,
Words
have power. The best example of this is
the story of creation. What was it that
created the world? It was the word of
God. God spoke and it happened. God said, let
there be light and it happened; there was light. God spoke and the worlds came into
being. God spoke and we came into
being. God’s word has power and our
words have power. Our words have the power
to create life – maybe not the way God’s did, but we have the power to create
life in ourselves and others, but our words also have the power to wound and
destroy. Our words have the power to lift
up or tear down. Our words can bring
health or sickness, joy or sorrow, peace or war, life or death.
What
kind of words do you remember hearing in your life? Can you remember the words that have brought
you joy, health or life? My guess is
that you may have a hard time thinking of those words, but you can quickly and
easily remember the words that tore you down.
What’s sad is that we can remember the harsh, critical and unkind words more
than the good ones. I can still remember
where I was on the playground outside Lily B. Haynes Elementary school when I
was teased for being overweight, but I don’t remember where or when teachers
told me I was doing a good job. I know
they probably did and I’m sure those words helped, but I don’t remember
them. I read once that for every one
negative or critical word we receive it takes six positive words to balance it
out. All this tells us that negative
words hurt more and go deeper and last longer than positive words and yet think
about our culture – it is filled almost exclusively with negative words.
Watch
just about any news station and you hear people talking over one another about
our world’s problems and many of their words are spoken to tear down their
opponents. Even in the midst of the
Naval Yard shooting this week, politicians on both sides were speaking
negatively about one another. At a time
when we should have been coming together as one nation and building each other
up as a community, our words were still tearing others apart. This is the culture we live in. Whether it is in school, sports or politics, this
is the culture we live in, too many of our words tear others apart and no where
do we see this more clearly than in social media.
A
number of years ago I joined twitter, but I am not there anymore. First of all, being a preacher, you all know
that there is no way I can say anything in less than 140 words let alone 140
characters. But the real reason I didn’t
stay on twitter was because most of what I saw and read was not just negative but
vicious and I just didn’t like filling my mind with those thoughts, attitudes and
words. People feel free to use words on
social media that they would never use publicly and those words have
consequences in our culture. Just this
week there were 2 stories about the vicious words on twitter when a college
professor and a political leader both called for the death of their opponents
children. While one has apologized for
his remarks, those words are still out there and the other person has refused
to apologize and even stands by what he has said. These words are shaping who we are and who we
are becoming. They are shaping our
culture and they are destroying us.
While
we can’t control what other people say, we can control what we say and we can
control what we choose to listen to. If
we want to come clean and begin to rid ourselves of toxic words and the power
of toxic words in our lives then we start by choosing what we will listen to
and what we will believe about the words we hear.
When
I was a new pastor in Altoona, we made some changes that upset a few people and
they made sure I heard about it. One of the
men who was unhappy wrote me a letter and told me I was doing the work of the
devil. Another man told me I was going
to destroy the church. A Sunday School
teacher kick me off his property with a few choice words. I’ll be honest, those words hurt. They hurt a lot, but a very wise pastor who
had been down this same road himself told me that I had to choose what I was
going to believe about myself. So I
spent some time thinking about it and I realized that I was not doing the work
of the devil and what I was trying to do was not destroy the church but help build
the church and prepare it for the future.
I was trying my best to be faithful to the mission of Jesus. My family, friends and other leaders affirmed
all of this with me so I was able to let go of the lies others were saying
about me and hold on to the truth.
We
can not control what other people say and what they say about us, but we can
control what we choose to listen to and believe. There comes a time when we have to evaluate
the words of others and decide if they are truth
or trash, to help us with that there
is actually an app called truth or trash.
It shares some statements we often hear and asks us if we think these
words are truth or trash. There is one
statement I read on the app which said, you are powerless. Now the truth is that we might feel powerless
a lot of the time, but that statement is trash because the Bible says
we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, so if those words come
into our head, or if we hear them from others, we need to reject them.
Not
only do we need to hold on to the positive words said about us and get rid of
the negative, but we need make sure that we concentrate on saying positive
words. Look at Ephesians 4:29. Every
word has power which is why God tells us that every word we say needs to be
positive, faith-filled and something that lifts others up. Think how much better your marriage might be
if every day you said only positive things about your spouse. How much stronger would our children would be
if we only said things that built them up and inspired them. Think about what a better place our schools
would be if student’s only said kind and inspiring words about their class
mates. Think how much better our work
force would be if employers spent more time encouraging their workers instead
of criticizing them and think about how much different our nation would be if
in politics we found ways to encourage each other even when we disagree.
Now
I know you are thinking that sounds great, but it will never happen, well it
won’t unless we commit ourselves to beginning to make it happen. Most of us think of many positive things we
could say about people during the course of a day, but we just don’t say them. I want to encourage all of us this week to say
them. If you see someone doing a good
job – tell them. If you are proud of
your kids – tell them. If you appreciate
your parents – tell them. If you value
your friends, like your teacher, appreciate your elected officials – tell
them! If God had just thought about
creating the heavens and the earth and never said a word, we wouldn’t be here,
but God spoke. God’s word was shared and
it created life. Our positive words when
spoken can bring life. So if you think
something positive and good – share it.
If you think something negative, harsh and critical – keep silent. What
did our parents tech us? If you don’t
have anything nice to say… (or again, Ephesians.
4:29)
Not
only do we need to think about words said to us and words we say to others but
we also need to think about the words we say to ourselves. Too often the running commentary in our own
hearts and minds is negative and critical.
I’ll never measure up. I’m not
good enough. I can’t do this. We need to change those words and fill our
minds and hearts with positive faith-filled words that will shape our
lives. I think David did this when he
fought Goliath. David knew that the odds
were against him when he went out to fight Goliath. In fact, many people told him that. Goliath told him that. Goliath taunted David and bullied him and cut
him down with insults but David not only rejected those words, he filled his
heart and head with positive words. Look
at 1 Samuel 17:45-48, while
these words were spoken by David to Goliath, I wonder if they were really
spoken by David for David. I think he
needed to hear this about himself. Those words made a difference.
We
all need to hear positive words about ourselves and sometimes we need to say those
words out loud, or write them down so we can see them in order to believe
them. Craig Groeschel tells a story
about man who was struggling with depression and Craig really didn’t know how
to help him. He finally told the man that
before he could leave his office he had to came up with 100 positive things to say
about himself. The man resisted, as most
of us would, but Craig insisted so finally the man gave in and said, Ok, I am a good writer, which he was, so
Craig put that on the top of the list.
Then the man said, I am funny,
which he was, so Craig added that to the list.
Then the man quickly said, people say
I look like Robert Redford – which was not at all true so Craig smiled at
him and wrote down – you are very funny
– at which point the man smiled. They
kept going until they filled several pages of paper with 100 positive
things. Craig gave the list to the man
and he left.
About
a decade later the man saw Craig and he was so excited to introduce Craig to
his wife and son. His life had
completely turned around. As they were
talking the man opened up his wallet and pulled out several worn pieces of
paper and handed them to Craig. It was
the list of 100 positive things about himself and he told Craig, I don’t need this anymore because God has
written all of these and 100’s more on my heart.
Negative
words tear down and destroy but positive words really do build us up and bring
life. We need to write these words about
ourselves, we need say them to ourselves, at times out loud, so that they get
written on our hearts and we need to start saying these positive things about
others. While we live in a world full of
toxic words, we can make the choice today to come clean and “let no unwholesome words come out of our
mouths but only what is helpful for building others up.” It is a choice we can make today and it is a
choice we can make every day. The right
choice brings life. The right choice
brings faith and the right choice begins to turn our culture and world around.
Next Steps
Soul Detox ~ Toxic
Words
Write down 100 positive words that define who you are.
Write down 25 positive things about 2 people
you know and share these words with them.
